Modesty a woman’s opinion?

[QuietlyListening]

Like said already modesty is not just dress. It is how we live, how we present ourselves, how we interact with others. Do we try to draw attention to ourselves with our words, actions or dress.
Modesty in dress is where we cover ourselves and don't draw attention to ourselves by how our clothes fit or the amount of extras we include. Personally I see nothing wrong with women wearing pants- there are many modest pants that do not draw attention to oneself or body form. And modesty applies to both men and women.

[steve-in-kville]

Asked my wife and she is of the same opinion as the other replies. She also told a story that I heard before and somewhat remember....

She grew up in the Dunkard Brethren Church and ever since she could remember there was always a family or two that, although compliant to the standards on modesty, always seemed to be riding the fence or pushing the boundary. Yes, the girls wore a cape dress (as was required at the time) and wore the regulation covering (with strings) but the dresses were fitting tighter and tighter and the headcoverings seemed to be getting smaller. High heels became the norm, which was a sticky subject at the time.

At various times, typically at the spring deacon's visit, the parents would be encouraged to bring their daughters inline with the standards. The parents kinda argued that they are "in compliance by the letter of the law, why are our girls being singled out, what about the so & so and her skimpy dresses, etc."

So yes, my wife agrees it is a spirit of modesty. Not "how much can we get away with and still commune?"

[Soloist]

Like said already modesty is not just dress. It is how we live, how we present ourselves, how we interact with others. Do we try to draw attention to ourselves with our words, actions or dress.
Modesty in dress is where we cover ourselves and don't draw attention to ourselves by how our clothes fit or the amount of extras we include. Personally I see nothing wrong with women wearing pants- there are many modest pants that do not draw attention to oneself or body form. And modesty applies to both men and women.

Hubby finally got me on here. I agree with most of the stuff you say if not all of it. Often, pants can be immodest, especially tight fitting pants although that would go for guys too, but my primary issue with loose pants/baggy shirts for ladies is less about modesty and more about not dressing like a guy. Ironically, before we went plane, I did occasionally dress like that with somewhat guyish T-shirts from hot topic or wherever, either because I liked the motto or I thought it drew less attention to myself than other outfits. I’m not here to judge other peoples motives though, but that would be the primary concern I would have with it.

The rest of this was written a couple days ago, but I wanted to look at the thread before I posted. I had mentioned the pants thing in this, but I decided to rewrite that since someone else already mentioned it.

Modesty (in dress) should be dressing in such a way as not to draw attention to oneself or their body. Obviously, in a world that has moved past dresses and the like, it might call attention just for being different, but looser clothing for women (and men) and not overly flashy. I’m sure cost goes into it too. I think it’s better for people to forget what you were wearing the day before.

The homeschooler long skirt look often seems modest as well, and it really depends on the cut and fabric for skirts or dresses.

A person’s choice for clothing, even otherwise modest clothing, shouldn’t be just to look good to others. i’ve seen this on both sides of the Cape dress fence, so it’s better not to point fingers one direction or another. I have more thoughts, I just have to think them first (in a less jumbled mess).

[Soloist]

Soloist was crazy if he thought all of us ladies could explain our opinions in only a sentence or two.

[Soloist]

Soloist was crazy if he thought all of us ladies could explain our opinions in only a sentence or two.

Bare minimum was what I had in mind

Open to anyone at this point

Follow on question for only women,

What role do men play in your view self reflected modesty?

Edit: my wife told me the question makes no sense, here is attempt two
How do men impact your modesty views? Or do men have any impact on your choices and why or why not.

[Soloist]

Soloist was crazy if he thought all of us ladies could explain our opinions in only a sentence or two.

Bare minimum was what I had in mind

Open to anyone at this point

Follow on question for only women,

What role do men play in your view self reflected modesty?

Edit: my wife told me the question makes no sense, here is attempt two
How do men impact your modesty views? Or do men have any impact on your choices and why or why not.

Wife: I feel like soloist’s account has multiple personality disorder or whatever the new name for it is with both me and he posting.

My answer to that would be that if we know enough to dress up to impress a guy, or boyfriend, husband, etc. then we are admitting that how we dress is attractive to other people. It doesn’t mean they are in the right for making advances, but we don’t want to be an unnecessary distraction or temptation for them to think about anyone else’s wife or anyone other than their own.

As for guys, make sure your pants fit (especially annoying when guys are sitting completely spread legged thinking manners don’t apply to them) and don’t buy tight shirts just to show off muscles.

[temporal1]

Wife: I feel like soloist’s account has multiple personality disorder or whatever the new name for it is with both me and he posting.

My answer to that would be that if we know enough to dress up to impress a guy, or boyfriend, husband, etc. then we are admitting that how we dress is attractive to other people. It doesn’t mean they are in the right for making advances, but we don’t want to be an unnecessary distraction or temptation for them to think about anyone else’s wife or anyone other than their own.

As for guys, make sure your pants fit (especially annoying when guys are sitting completely spread legged thinking manners don’t apply to them) and don’t buy tight shirts just to show off muscles.

Ah-ha. Mrs Soloist.
Altho the majority discussion (everywhere) about women’s dress has to do with attracting or even tempting the opposite sex,
i often wonder how much is motivated by what other women think?! i suspect this is huge.

After all, women are more likely to be interested in and value/appreciate style minutia?
i’ve never been able to satisfactorily untangle this.

Recently, i listened to a frantic young woman panic over her hair, believing men would find her hair unattractive.
i listened, then quietly advised, they’re not thinking about your hair.

[Sudsy]

So for the few women on here, please post what you think modesty is in a sentence or so and why you believe it should be practiced.
It seems like men are full of opinions either pro or against what is or is not acceptable and I’m curious why the female population would practice modesty.

As a request, please no male poster input for a few days.
I know there are a few ladies and I’ll see if I can convince my wife to post

See underlined. Obvious, we men do not like restrictions even when asked politely.

[Soloist]

See underlined. Obvious, we men do not like restrictions even when asked politely.

Pretty much all the ladies that will respond have responded. You can post your thoughts. With the exception of the final question which I don’t see how you as a male can respond to.

[Sudsy]

See underlined. Obvious, we men do not like restrictions even when asked politely.

Pretty much all the ladies that will respond have responded. You can post your thoughts. With the exception of the final question which I don’t see how you as a male can respond to.

OK, modesty is an issue between a believer and God and if one is seeking the guidance of the Holy Spirit in what is acceptable to God regarding modesty, then I believe they will know when they cross the line. I do not agree with any group of believers legislating modesty for those they fellowship with. As a believer matures spiritually, they will be taught by the Spirit what is and what is not modest and they are responsible to obey the Spirit's guidance. Stated another way 'personal conviction'.

If another believer is not living to one's personal convictions on what is modest, then show genuine love toward them and pray for them. They could be advanced spiritually in some other area than we are and we need the same kind of response from them. I don't believe we are to mandate what some might call 'holiness standards' that, imo, interfere with personal convictions by the Holy Spirit. In my experience, this legislating produces a 'holier-than-thou' attitude between varied church groups.

This, I believe, is the approach taken by the MB church I attended and is likely regarded as one of those 'liberal' type churches. The area of what is 'modest' and any rules around it are not an area explicitly defined by the local fellowship.