A year of living.

[Wayne in Maine]

Something small that you wrote caught my eye. Did I read you correctly that you and Betty are moving to Muncy Valley? If so, where exactly? My family is from nearby Williamsport.

That is correct. We will be living at 724 Nordmont Road in Muncy Valley. Directly next door to my daughter and her family and across for Muncy Creek (we love to fish!). We expect to own the place within a week or two - we arranged the purchase even before it came onto the market and it's perfect in every way for our needs - it's one of those convergences of coincidences we prefer to call a miracle.

[Wayne in Maine]

This is day 4, of session 3 of my chemotherapy, and I’m doing just what the doctor ordered! I spent the better part of the day in my recliner reading, resting, napping (a little bit). I made some phone calls (I love talking to people on the phone these days), had some annoyance with my (former? I don’t know yet if I have been terminated!) employer and some good news on two fronts about my house purchase in PA. I had a nice chat with Ernie and enlisted myself in some Kingdom work - to occupy a lifetime!

The best of my day was speaking to Lester Baumann, one of our old MD/MN regulars. Lester and I were often like “iron sharpening iron”, but it was all edifying (well at least it was for me!). Lester is preparing to meet the Lord soon, ahead of me it seems as he also has cancer. I was blessed to talk to him and his wife (though his speech is very weak). We “resonated” about our health situation and about being yielded and at peace. Lester and Marlene have been married just 4 months less than Betty and me (43 years in June). I must thank Ernie for mentioning Lester to me – Maine is not even close to the Mennonite grapevine, so we don’t hear about these things that are otherwise “common knowledge” among our distant Mennonite friends. Lester passed up on visiting me when he was in Maine two years ago. I told him he missed a good Lobster Dinner!

[justme]

i miss reading Lester's posts.
i'm glad you had the chance to talk w him.

[Wayne in Maine]

Well not every day can be a great day. Some days are just good!

But God is always good!

I'm going through an unexpected bout of nausea on the afternoon of day 6. I guess I have to extend my taking the anti-nausa drugs by another day or two. It's all a learning experience.

I would post a picture of the "pharmacopia" I have to take morning and night plus the PRNs (as needed), but it would probably shock a lot of MennoNetters and end up with some of the discussion in this thread being moved into the briar patch! My medical team is very careful to coordinate all of the medications I take. There are some that they might help me but because of interactions with other drugs I have to do without. All medicines, synthetic or "natural" are just chemicals which effect the chemicals in your body. Even the "natural" cancer fighting tea I drink (Chaga) is listed and considered in my medical treatment plan.

I get blood tests the day before my chemotherapy, part of which is to see how well my liver is managing to handle all of the work of processing the drugs that are otherwise keeping me alive and(/or) healthy. So far my blood chemistry is very good - God is seeing to it that my body is up to the battle he has entrusted to the wisdom of the physicians.

In other news we got the appraisal for the property we plan to purchase in PA. The appraised value was slightly higher than we expected, and we will make an entirely satisfactory offer to the seller. It is in our nature (mine and my wife's) to be generous even to sellers. So we will be pleased to more than satisfy the dear woman who is selling her deceased father's home to us. We hope to see her again, perhaps at one of the special events at "Singing Creek", the "community" attempt started by my son in law's family of which we will be a part in some manner.

[Wayne in Maine]

I have had a very disturbing few days recently, where my boss went from “praying for me” to preying on me.

He had offered to continue to pay for my health insurance and to let me keep my cell phone, which he would continue to pay for. I have been full of praise to my co-workers and other for the kindheartedness of this man, even though (he told me) he found out from our HR lawyer and accountant that he cannot pay for my insurance. When I contacted our agent about paying for it myself, I learned that indeed he could pay for my insurance, that it is simply a matter of company policy as to whether a company will do that. I called him with this good news! I had also received the good news that I can work part time (with pay even!) for a few hours a week when I am feeling well enough, without jeopardizing my short-term disability insurance (my only income) to train my replacements and to help the company transition from my work there. My program has been responsible for almost a half a million dollars in revenue for the company, I would not want that to be jeopardized, and as a professional I feel that it is something I ought to do.

Now a little back story. The wife of the boss is a real estate broker. I had asked if she could look at our property in Maine and help us prepare it for sale. I assumed that she would handle the sale as well. But I was advised by a mortgage banker (relative of my wife) that we should shop around for a real estate agent. I learned of a Christian brother who was doing real estate and chose him – without going into details he is the perfect choice for this task. I told the boss’s wife and she seemed gracious enough. But when I next saw the boss at the office, he was very, very angry and told me his wife was too. He and I used to chat in his office when I stopped by for my training sessions, but not this time, he was cold and bitter.

When I tried to log in to me company email last Thursday I found my password had changed. In fact my passwords had been changed on every company system – including the one I manage and was training my replacements on. When I called the company to talk to my manager (the boss’s brother) I was put off. I texted him and he said we would have a call to discuss it the next morning.

The call the next morning did not go well at all. The boss immediately started monologuing me and when I started to ask about being locked out of my accounts, he told me he would hang up on me if I continued. The bottom line is that he and my manager claim that I was “retired” and that the company had no obligation to me, not even to continue paying for the long term disability insurance that will become my only income in the future (until I retire next year or die, whichever come first!).

After the call we continued with Webex messaging. I asked if I was officially terminated and after a long while got the answer that the boss was talking with his HR lawyer and would call on Monday. I responded that he should have his lawyer contact me directly as I do not want to hire an attorney myself.

His lawyer called yesterday and let me know that I will in fact remain as an employee and that my disability insurance will be covered. But I will have to pay my employer (not the insurance company!) for my health insurance, as the company will have to pay for that. In other words, the boss lied about his wanting to pay for it but being unable to. All the praise for the good heartedness of my boss was premised on his lying.

Now I had, just that morning, copied all the Webex discussions my boss, my manager and I had on this matter – when I told the boss that I was doing so he deleted my Webex account. Too late for him! I told the lawyer I had all the documentation, including my statements that I will not be retiring until my disability insurance runs out (which my boss, I have documented, agreed was a good plan), my bosses claiming he wants to pay for my health insurance but can’t on advice of his HR lawyer (who never gave him that advice!) and statements that I was working without pay to help the company transition.

The lawyer himself was shocked and agreed that, in spite of the boss’s denial, a judge would not look favorable to his reaction and actions after I decided not to hire his wife (I assured the lawyer that I will not take anyone to court, even if I had cause to). The lawyer agreed with my position 100% and even feels that with my facing such a hostile environment I should feel no obligation to train anyone in the systems I managed. He even told me he would make sure my phone service (I have a company owned phone and service plan) would not be cut off.

The boss’s lawyer is on my side. He apologized for the difficulty and stress this has caused me and said he would talk to the boss. He hoped that the relationship between myself and the boss and my manager could be patched up. I did get my manager to transfer my phone number and cell service to me – I cannot risk arbitrarily losing my phone service as I lost my company email (used for communications by my insurance company).

I feel less angry over this whole affair than I do hurt and saddened (though in my mind I must admit to thinking the phrase “two-faced lying weasel” applies to the boss!). I feel sad for the my boss and his brother, for their depravity and the pain they perhaps might be feeling over this when they face themselves in a mirror. I sang the praises of my boss for his kindness, all the while he was ”weaseling” about trying to save money and later (it seems) taking vengeance on me on his wife’s behalf. At one point when he said he wanted to help me by paying for my insurance he stated “how could I otherwise look at myself in the mirror?” I don't know how he can face my fellow employees who know, or soon will know what has transpired. My manager (his brother) has generally been a decent man who trusted me as a professional to develop my program with little supervision. He has gotten into big arguments with the boss over policies and other company actions in the past. But he went along with the “retirement” line and he also knows what the boss “out of the goodness of his heart” promised and pulled back on. He too has betrayed and been betrayed. Now he is stuck (the boss, is retired and not involved in the day-to-day activities of the business) with untrained staff managing a complex system that they must learn on their own – thanks to his brother’s avarice and petulance. I suspect there were some big shouting matches in the office (as there had been in the past between those two!) over these past few days.

I keep asking myself how can I deal with this redemptively? I don’t have access to the documentation on my systems or the training materials I had been developing on it. I don’t feel that I can work in that office now and want to just go clean out my desk and wipe the dust from my feet. The most I feel I can do is update the documentation on my system for my successors if I'm allowed access to it! I do want to correct any lies that might have been told to my colleagues at the office about this affair though. I feel that it is up to my boss and manager to patch up our relationship. It is my prayer that God will touch their hearts, but I don’t have high expectations, only the faith that is hope.

I will sneak into the office tomorrow or later today to empty my desk. I will return the phone they said I could keep, unless my manager insist that I keep it (we called it my “gold pocket watch” a thank you token in advance of my eventual retirement!), then I’ll trade it in for my new phone, already on order. I’ll pray for them and for my colleagues at the office and try to put this whole thing out of my mind. It’s not the first time my loyalty to a company has been rewarded with spiteful retribution. It’s something of a cross to bear – to forgive those who do not want to be forgiven, who indignantly believe in their own righteousness.

But at least this gives me more time to devote to “Kingdom work” now instead of computer work, like studying the intellectual depth of the earliest Anabaptists, or gathering materials and suggestions for Ernie’s study center at State College or finishing some long neglected essays on Anabaptism and Christocentrism and preparing for a visit to the annual Whitsun conference at Dan Z’s.

[silentreader]

I have had a very disturbing few days recently, where my boss went from “praying for me” to preying on me.

He had offered to continue to pay for my health insurance and to let me keep my cell phone, which he would continue to pay for. I have been full of praise to my co-workers and other for the kindheartedness of this man, even though (he told me) he found out from our HR lawyer and accountant that he cannot pay for my insurance. When I contacted our agent about paying for it myself, I learned that indeed he could pay for my insurance, that it is simply a matter of company policy as to whether a company will do that. I called him with this good news! I had also received the good news that I can work part time (with pay even!) for a few hours a week when I am feeling well enough, without jeopardizing my short-term disability insurance (my only income) to train my replacements and to help the company transition from my work there. My program has been responsible for almost a half a million dollars in revenue for the company, I would not want that to be jeopardized, and as a professional I feel that it is something I ought to do.

Now a little back story. The wife of the boss is a real estate broker. I had asked if she could look at our property in Maine and help us prepare it for sale. I assumed that she would handle the sale as well. But I was advised by a mortgage banker (relative of my wife) that we should shop around for a real estate agent. I learned of a Christian brother who was doing real estate and chose him – without going into details he is the perfect choice for this task. I told the boss’s wife and she seemed gracious enough. But when I next saw the boss at the office, he was very, very angry and told me his wife was too. He and I used to chat in his office when I stopped by for my training sessions, but not this time, he was cold and bitter.

When I tried to log in to me company email last Thursday I found my password had changed. In fact my passwords had been changed on every company system – including the one I manage and was training my replacements on. When I called the company to talk to my manager (the boss’s brother) I was put off. I texted him and he said we would have a call to discuss it the next morning.

The call the next morning did not go well at all. The boss immediately started monologuing me and when I started to ask about being locked out of my accounts, he told me he would hang up on me if I continued. The bottom line is that he and my manager claim that I was “retired” and that the company had no obligation to me, not even to continue paying for the long term disability insurance that will become my only income in the future (until I retire next year or die, whichever come first!).

After the call we continued with Webex messaging. I asked if I was officially terminated and after a long while got the answer that the boss was talking with his HR lawyer and would call on Monday. I responded that he should have his lawyer contact me directly as I do not want to hire an attorney myself.

His lawyer called yesterday and let me know that I will in fact remain as an employee and that my disability insurance will be covered. But I will have to pay my employer (not the insurance company!) for my health insurance, as the company will have to pay for that. In other words, the boss lied about his wanting to pay for it but being unable to. All the praise for the good heartedness of my boss was premised on his lying.

Now I had, just that morning, copied all the Webex discussions my boss, my manager and I had on this matter – when I told the boss that I was doing so he deleted my Webex account. Too late for him! I told the lawyer I had all the documentation, including my statements that I will not be retiring until my disability insurance runs out (which my boss, I have documented, agreed was a good plan), my bosses claiming he wants to pay for my health insurance but can’t on advice of his HR lawyer (who never gave him that advice!) and statements that I was working without pay to help the company transition.

The lawyer himself was shocked and agreed that, in spite of the boss’s denial, a judge would not look favorable to his reaction and actions after I decided not to hire his wife (I assured the lawyer that I will not take anyone to court, even if I had cause to). The lawyer agreed with my position 100% and even feels that with my facing such a hostile environment I should feel no obligation to train anyone in the systems I managed. He even told me he would make sure my phone service (I have a company owned phone and service plan) would not be cut off.

The boss’s lawyer is on my side. He apologized for the difficulty and stress this has caused me and said he would talk to the boss. He hoped that the relationship between myself and the boss and my manager could be patched up. I did get my manager to transfer my phone number and cell service to me – I cannot risk arbitrarily losing my phone service as I lost my company email (used for communications by my insurance company).

I feel less angry over this whole affair than I do hurt and saddened (though in my mind I must admit to thinking the phrase “two-faced lying weasel” applies to the boss!). I feel sad for the my boss and his brother, for their depravity and the pain they perhaps might be feeling over this when they face themselves in a mirror. I sang the praises of my boss for his kindness, all the while he was ”weaseling” about trying to save money and later (it seems) taking vengeance on me on his wife’s behalf. At one point when he said he wanted to help me by paying for my insurance he stated “how could I otherwise look at myself in the mirror?” I don't know how he can face my fellow employees who know, or soon will know what has transpired. My manager (his brother) has generally been a decent man who trusted me as a professional to develop my program with little supervision. He has gotten into big arguments with the boss over policies and other company actions in the past. But he went along with the “retirement” line and he also knows what the boss “out of the goodness of his heart” promised and pulled back on. He too has betrayed and been betrayed. Now he is stuck (the boss, is retired and not involved in the day-to-day activities of the business) with untrained staff managing a complex system that they must learn on their own – thanks to his brother’s avarice and petulance. I suspect there were some big shouting matches in the office (as there had been in the past between those two!) over these past few days.

I keep asking myself how can I deal with this redemptively? I don’t have access to the documentation on my systems or the training materials I had been developing on it. I don’t feel that I can work in that office now and want to just go clean out my desk and wipe the dust from my feet. The most I feel I can do is update the documentation on my system for my successors if I'm allowed access to it! I do want to correct any lies that might have been told to my colleagues at the office about this affair though. I feel that it is up to my boss and manager to patch up our relationship. It is my prayer that God will touch their hearts, but I don’t have high expectations, only the faith that is hope.

I will sneak into the office tomorrow or later today to empty my desk. I will return the phone they said I could keep, unless my manager insist that I keep it (we called it my “gold pocket watch” a thank you token in advance of my eventual retirement!), then I’ll trade it in for my new phone, already on order. I’ll pray for them and for my colleagues at the office and try to put this whole thing out of my mind. It’s not the first time my loyalty to a company has been rewarded with spiteful retribution. It’s something of a cross to bear – to forgive those who do not want to be forgiven, who indignantly believe in their own righteousness.

But at least this gives me more time to devote to “Kingdom work” now instead of computer work, like studying the intellectual depth of the earliest Anabaptists, or gathering materials and suggestions for Ernie’s study center at State College or finishing some long neglected essays on Anabaptism and Christocentrism and preparing for a visit to the annual Whitsun conference at Dan Z’s.

From my own experience I believe you will be amazed anew how God works all things together for the good of those who love Him. After I finally walked away with no regrets, many "coincidences" proved to me I did the right thing.
I have never been back and have no desire to go back. I still have occasional contact with the CFO whom I worked with for many years, some of them difficult years. There is no confidential information shared but I get the impression that he does not think my decision was stupid, even though I was less than 2 years from having been at the company for 50 years.
God is indeed good.

[Wayne in Maine]

Well not only does my manager want my phone, he wants a check made out to the company for the health insurance and my key to the office.

He is cutting off his nose to spite his face.

[Soloist]

Well not only does my manager want my phone, he wants a check made out to the company for the health insurance and my key to the office.

He is cutting off his nose to spite his face.

Some people are kind by nature, others are kind by logical outcomes, and others are... well... I think you said it earlier.
I've had some bad experiences in the past including someone trying to get me thrown in jail... Nothing they can do to you can take away your hope for the future.

[Wayne in Maine]

Franzi and Dickon, my daughter and son in law, came for the weekend to help us pack. A truck from Dickon's business is coming later today to haul the first load (of many) to our new house. The purchase of the house is all but complete. We have made an offer acceptable to the buyer and a real estate lawyer has drawn up the paperwork to complete the sale. Our bank has received the appraisal on our Maine home and we should have the credit line available to us next week. The seller is letting us move stuff to the place now.

Of course the grandchildren are with us here for the weekend too. That's been a real treat. We are so looking forward to our move to "Yaya and Papa's house" in Pennsylvania this September.

[Szdfan]

“Yaya” sounds an awful a lot like “Baba Yaga.” Is this the house you are purchasing?