I regularly make introductions with new people for work in a typical large corporate environment in large American cities, and I almost never get a last name. I usually try to check their cubicle’s name plate or look for an email, etc. so I can keep track of what it is.
When I forget I’m not with plain people and introduce myself as “Josh So and so” people look at me oddly, like why would I share that so soon?
Conversing with Conservative Anabaptists
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Re: Conversing with Conservative Anabaptists
This is a great discussion.
When someone who has been around plain people only gives me their first name at a gathering of plain people, I subconsciously assume they have something they don't want me to know or else they are indicating that they want me to back off and don't want me to ask any personal questions. They want an arm's length relationship. In the plain world it is rude to show up at someones church or gathering or house, and expect an arm's length relationship. The Holy kiss and feet washing are all about letting people get close to you. I'm not criticizing non-plain people, just explaining. I can understand why people would not feel trust for others and why they would not want to get to close too fast.
Cultures sure are different.
When someone who has been around plain people only gives me their first name at a gathering of plain people, I subconsciously assume they have something they don't want me to know or else they are indicating that they want me to back off and don't want me to ask any personal questions. They want an arm's length relationship. In the plain world it is rude to show up at someones church or gathering or house, and expect an arm's length relationship. The Holy kiss and feet washing are all about letting people get close to you. I'm not criticizing non-plain people, just explaining. I can understand why people would not feel trust for others and why they would not want to get to close too fast.
Cultures sure are different.
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Re: Conversing with Conservative Anabaptists
Interesting. Are these typically situations where you're going to be working with these people for only a few days or a few weeks at most?Josh wrote:I regularly make introductions with new people for work in a typical large corporate environment in large American cities, and I almost never get a last name. I usually try to check their cubicle’s name plate or look for an email, etc. so I can keep track of what it is.
When I forget I’m not with plain people and introduce myself as “Josh So and so” people look at me oddly, like why would I share that so soon?
In my experience, I'm used to people introducing themselves using their full name, with the exception of service people, etc. So if I'm meeting with the sales rep for one of our vendors, he will almost always introduce himself using his first and last name, but I have no idea what the last name is of the guy who comes out to fix my printer.
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Re: Conversing with Conservative Anabaptists
Right. In non-plain culture, it is considered polite for children to address adults as Mr. or Mrs. [last name].Another thing is you never really hear plain people refer to someone as Mrs. Eby, etc. The only place I see formal address like that is in a school setting.
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Re: Conversing with Conservative Anabaptists
My experience over the years has varied greatly. I met a great variety of plain folks when I was involved in MDS especially. There are people from certain groups that are very rigid and very hard to converse with (EPMC). On the other hand I have had (and have) very natural conversation and fellowship with Old Order (Amish and River Brethren especially) folks and others.
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Re: Conversing with Conservative Anabaptists
I’ve actually observed the same thing, although I don’t have much experience with OORBs.Wayne in Maine wrote:My experience over the years has varied greatly. I met a great variety of plain folks when I was involved in MDS especially. There are people from certain groups that are very rigid and very hard to converse with (EPMC). On the other hand I have had (and have) very natural conversation and fellowship with Old Order (Amish and River Brethren especially) folks and others.
I think there are certain personalities that are rigid and hard to talk to - and that they tend to pile up on certain groups. But most CAs aren’t this way.
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Re: Conversing with Conservative Anabaptists
I think the giving of one or both names may be a regional thing.
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Re: Conversing with Conservative Anabaptists
Very true it seems- (I'm learning a lot from this discussion)Once Again wrote:I think the giving of one or both names may be a regional thing.
It's also true that people in general in the U.S. have become very casual about MANY things- including name exchange.
When I was young we never referred to anyone by their first name it was always Mr. so and so or Mrs. so and so.- unless you were neighborly or co-workers etc- (church members together as well)
As a child, you NEVER addressed any adult by their first name- when I was growing up- therefore people had to ask each other's last names because in general, people were more formal about things (I grew up in California)
NOW, I noticed parents have their children address me as Miss Valerie instead of Mrs. McMaster-
That just wasn't done when I was growing up-
ANother thing that seems to have fallen by the wayside is calling a woman like me Mrs. Neil McMaster. Most women today would not appreciate that! They want their OWN name- not Mrs. 'husband's name' then last name.
Culture/times have changed.
One thing I noticed with Amish friends that took me awhile to get was they don't say they are going to visit Mom & Dads or "Their parents". All I've ever heard them say is "I'm going to Dads" or "We're going to Dads" which would MEAN Mom & Dad's but they don't say anything but "Dads". Not sure if Mennonites do that too-
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Re: Conversing with Conservative Anabaptists
In the south where I grew up, we called people Mr, Miss first name. That was respectful. If we didn't know their name and they were older than us, it was Sir, or Ma'am.Right. In non-plain culture, it is considered polite for children to address adults as Mr. or Mrs. [last name].
We started out trying to teach our children to say Mr/Mrs last name but gave up quickly when we realized that meant 70% of the adults had the same name.
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Re: Conversing with Conservative Anabaptists
At a certain conservative Mennonite school, students address female teachers as something like “Miss Rachel”.
Some of the Rachels are married now, but they still are addressed as “Miss Rachel”. Maybe we should write it out as “Ms Rachel” for the married teachers and staff.
Some of the Rachels are married now, but they still are addressed as “Miss Rachel”. Maybe we should write it out as “Ms Rachel” for the married teachers and staff.
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