omnium-gatherum part deux

[temporal1]

Kinda sad.
Yesterday, i was remembering a not-close cousin, a bit older than me, who acquired polio, i think he was about 10.
We crossed paths online. His loving dedicated parents had passed, mine, too. They cared for him, he went to community college, had good employment, worked on his family’s history. We had a friendly, active online relationship. At first he was living independently, then went to a nursing home, continued his family history work for most of it.

He had one web page that included lots of photographs. i treasured it, and was glad for his effort.
i checked it yesterday. the page opened, no photos!

Sad. i intend to try to find if maybe any of his family, or the local small town historical society might have them?
i’m sure he intended his effort to be of use to others. there was a fair amount of community history included.

David Lee Dye, Goodland, Indiana
https://www.genealogy.com/ftm/d/y/e/Dav ... index.html

i wanted to visit with him, i asked. he declined. that was sad, too.
i believe he was in a nursing home by then. i didn’t press him about it.

i’m sad he’s gone. we had some fun online chats.

i now drive thru Goodland, IN visiting my son+wife in Michigan. Nice community.
i enjoy my drives to Michigan. about half on state highways. it makes a pleasant trip.

Findagrave / 186165552
https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/186 ... id-lee-dye

[temporal1]

I ticked the "Matthew 18" box,
but let's face it, I'll probably choose "Mind my own business. Let someone else rat them out."
next time I'm faced with this.

It’s not just “passing the buck” to someone else.
We’re assured, justice prevails, in God’s time. It’s not as tho they’ll never “face the music.”

It’s more about preventing more harm, and offering The Way.

In my case, the person is so much stronger than me - evidently, than anyone. Everyone surrounding has been twisted into enablers. The control involved here is uncanny. Yet, this person may be the unhappiest, most miserable person i know. In a self-constructed trap. Harm is being done, while no one “interferes.” “Triangulation,” divide+conquer, seems central. It’s absolutely bizarre.

Pandemic rules have been exploited to embed triangulation/manipulation.

“The system” is not working. Any/every attempt is twisted against itself. There are “evident” choices. Each one “disabled,” esp by laws (designed to “protect”). Twisted to protect/enable abusers. So much wrong ends in STALEMATES.

i’ve gently recommended COMPETENT counseling over years, in different ways, as encouraging+inviting as possible.
odd thing is, everyone closely connected is IN counseling, the central person is not.

i’ve wondered, what would it be like to know EVERYONE closely involved with you is in counseling?!
isn’t this a mild clue??

the counselors are (misused) to accomodate the (triangulator)!
my definition of “competent” counseling is counsel wise enough to assess bad situations without becoming an enabler.
the critical key is, the abuser must accept competent counseling. i.e., face personal accountability.

in this case, if personal accountability is required, the counselor will be fired and forgotten.
“The Rule” is: this person MUST always win, MUST always be obeyed, MUST be flattered and doted on.
break The Rule, “you’re OUT.”

when i say i’m out of my league, this is not an exaggeration.
what i might bring is faith, hope, Truth. the promise of a better way. The Better Way.
so far, over decades, i’ve not been thrown out. except for occasional fiery skirmishes. all things considered, i’m peculiarly close.
this gives me a sense there is some hint of respect+trust?? .. it’s all so hard, so out of my realm.

there is no forcing. it must be wanted, voluntary. a hard sell to someone with instincts of a wild bird: fight AND flight.

it’s getting late in the day.
possibly, “the handwriting on the wall” is appearing. making everything worse.
blame is being cast about in every direction but inward. to a shocking extent.

habits of decades can be cold prisons.

outward appearances can deceive. Jesus knows hearts.

- - -

this thread is about business offenses. mine is about personal abuse, which i presume includes business, but my motivation is stopping personal abuse. i don’t believe it’s sexual abuse, but there are commonalities. some say emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse. sexual abuse is violent, even if no outward or lasting harm is done. abuse of psyches. souls.

i’m writing this out partly to help myself “marshal my thoughts” on it.
if i take new action, it’s a huge risk. i will need strength to face it, strength to endure. i may have to accept i’ve made things worse.
this person never hesitates to “go after a mouse with an elephant gun,” with no remorse.

different people have different gifts to communicate. what is excruciating for me might be a simple matter for someone else.
my task is to figure out what options i might have in this particular situation. i’m not confident.

[temporal1]

i made a move.
i procrastinated on it for about a month. or, some months. since November, i suppose.

i expect to be blown out of the water.
that will be the knee-jerk first response. it will hurt. it’s meant to hurt.

then what? will it pass, be allowed, or be obliterated?

i’ve been reading some books that i hope may give me some insights/courage.

“Make Friends with Your Shadow,”
How to accept and use the negative side of your personality.
William A. Miller

“When the Past is Present,”
Healing the emotional wounds that sabotage our relationships.
David Richo

one i do not have: i may listen as an audio book.

“The Emotionally Healthy Leader,”
How tranforming your inner life will deeply transform your church, team, and the world.
Peter Scazzero

This isn’t a church leader, but i think all forms of leadership have similarities, and emotional health is critical in leadership.

It’s so much easier to do nothing.
i have a headache.

[temporal1]

10 agonizing days since i “made a move.” ^^ it feels like 10 months.

today, i took the next step. i was NOT dismissed with screams. this is progress. i hope.
hopefully, another positive step tonight.

i read today:

“15 SIGNS YOU MAY BE AN EMOTIONAL BULLY … AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT”
http://meanttobehappy.com/15-signs-you- ... -about-it/

in general, when people speak/behave badly, there is underlying pain.
wounded animals lash out. it can become a way of life.

[temporal1]

huge disappointment last night. hard to accept.



i don’t believe this is an R Skaggs’ quote. maybe this:

Quote Investigator:
In 1859 the well-known spiritualist Cora L. V. Hatch delivered a lecture at the Cooper Institute while in a trance as reported in
“The Cleveland Plain Dealer”. Hatch employed a version of the expression:[1]

You could not prevent a thunderstorm, but you could use the electricity; you could not direct the wind, but you could trim your sail so as to propel your vessel as you pleased, no matter which way the wind blew.

sigh.
it’s most helpful to have accumulated life experiences that demonstrate, “not getting your wish” in the moment, so often leads to so much better in the longer term. this is a tough one.

tough times help with learning to have faith in the unknown. it’s invaluable. life is hard without faith. hard, empty, lonely, frightening. faith is not only a choice, but a precious gift.

steps have been initiated. no regrets so far. my most repeated prayer may be for patience.

[ohio jones]

i don’t believe this is a R Skaggs’ quote. maybe this:

[temporal1]

i don’t believe this is an R Skaggs’ quote. maybe this:

In the Old Testament of the Bible, a reference to collecting tears in a bottle appears in Psalm 56:8 when David prays to God,
“Thou tellest my wanderings, put thou my tears in Thy bottle; are they not in Thy Book?"

David is referring to the belief that God keeps a record of human pain and suffering and always remembers ...
https://tearcatcher.com › tear-bottles
Tear Bottle History

[temporal1]

Another Mennonite ancestor, recorded as buried in the Mennonite Cemetery, Strasburg, Shenandoah County, Virginia, USA.
Find A Grave: 59183510 / https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/591 ... acob-funck

My 6th great-grandfather, on paternal grandmother’s side.

JACOB FUNK/FUNCK, 1697-1746
Found in the Family Search ancestry website: https://www.familysearch.org/en/

This information sent to me by Lloyd Anderson on 29 March, 2020 with only the brief introductory sentence slightly edited by me same date.

Jacob Funk was born 22 October, 1697 in Bonfeld, Bad Rappenau, Heilbronn, Baden-Württemberg, Germany, son of Heinrich “Manor” Funk and Verena Frey:

Jacob Funk was a grown man when his family came to America in 1717 and by the following year he had acquired 301 acres on the Conestoga Creek in what is now Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.[1] He purchased the land from Rudolph Bundeli and Martin in 1718 but the deed was not recorded for many years. Jacob probably married about the time he acquired his land and he appears on the tax lists for the region from 1718 onwards. (Gary Hawbecker and Clyde Groff, [2] Jacob Funk also signed a petition by Lancaster County landowners requesting naturalization in October 1729.[3] A court of appeals for the Board of Property met at "Jacob Funk's on the Conestoga" in January 1730 to consider local cases.[4] Jacob Funk and his wife, Veronica, sold their land on the Conestoga to John Snavely 15 May 1735 and moved to Virginia that summer.

Jacob Funk was the first of the Funk family to move to the frontier in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia and was indeed a part of the first wave of Germans who began moving to Virginia only three years earlier. In Virginia Jacob Funk was instrumental in opening new roads, getting a new county established west of the Blue Ridge Mountains (Frederick County, established 1739, organized, 1743) and providing a place for travelers and newcomers to get their bearings. His home was an "Ordinary" and appears to have been a gathering place where local people and newcomers could transact business.

Jacob Funk wrote a will 28 June 1746 in which he named his wife, Franey, his sons Jacob, Henry and John, daughters, Franey, Elizabeth, Mary and Barbara. He mentioned that his youngest children were still under age (apparently John and Barbara). His sons, Jacob and Henry had already received land and his youngest son, John, was to receive the land where the mill stood. In spite of the fact that his wife, Franey,had gone to court with complaints of abuse, and he was ordered to provide for her support, he also willed her additional money, livestock, a portion of the harvests and a barrel of liquor annually. His son, Jacob and "kinsman," John Funk Jr. were appointed executors of his will, which was probated 3 Dec. 1746.[5]

An indication of the ages of his children and who the daughters married can be found in an order of January 3, 1758 to have the land appraised. The youngest son, John, had just come of age and wanted his land. His sisters were identified as; Franey Stover, Elizabeth Beam, Mary Strickler and Barbara Funk. See PDF Image.[6]

1. Lancaster County Deed Book "CC" p. 176.

2. Index to 1718-1726 Tax Records of Chester County Relating to the Areas Later Part of Lancaster County, (1988).

3. I. D. Rupp, History of Lancaster County, p. 121.

4. Ellis and Evans, History of Lancaster County, p. 26.

5.Will of Jacob Funk, Frederick County Will Book 1, p. 93.

6. Frederick County Order Book "7," p. 347.

Buying and selling land in Pennsylvania: Lancaster County Deed Book "CC,", p. 176, and "Z," p. 119.

Buying land in Virginia: Orange County Deed Book, "1", p. 62-67: 2030 acres on the North Fork of the Shenandoah from Henry Willis.

The narrative biography above, is an extract from the Funk Chapter in:
Daniel W. Bly, From the Rhine to the Shenandoah, Baltimore, MD (1992), Volume I, pp. 58-59.
Many of his sources are cited in the text.

RAJ, 29 March, 2020

[temporal1]

ADAM FUNCK, 1530-1590 (my 12th great-grandfather)

From Family Search:

Funck, a German/Swiss Mennonite family name, was native to the Canton of Zürich, Switzerland, probably in the Kronau district, and was found in the Palatinate in the 17th and 18th centuries.

Henry Funk, a preacher of the canton of Bern, was scourged and expelled from Bern about 1671.

Records show Mennonite Funks living in places near Heidelberg: Michelfeld 1662, Schaffhausen 1685, Richen 1717, Reihen 1724, Rohrbach 1752, and later in Eppingen 1778, where families of Funcks are listed from that time until recent times.

The name Funk (Funck) was also found in West Prussia, appearing in all Frisian as well as in the Old Flemish congregations.
At Danzig it has been mentioned since 1674. In every generation there have been preachers and elders among the Funcks.

In 1710 Hans Funck was one of the original settlers in what is now Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.
Pioneer Bishop Heinrich "Henry" Funck (~1694-~1758) immigrated in 1717 to Philadelphia and in 1719 located in what is now Franconia Township, Montgomery County, Pennsylvania.

Last Changed: 2 April 2017 by FunkKevin

[temporal1]

It’s taken a long time to come across these discoveries.
In most of history, i might not have ever discovered any of it. Now, geneaology websites.
Heaven knows, my parents either knew none of this, or decided it was best not to (burden?) us with history?

i don’t know.
But they did not choose infant baptism for any of the 6 of us, and they wanted us to make adult decisions.
So, in the very least, i must believe there were distinct Anabaptist influences passed down.

i strongly believe messages are passed from one generation to another, maybe never clearly articulated or specifically remembered, but messages, none the less, and, traits. Inborn traits and family (learned) traits. Lots goes unspoken. i believe we are more than the sum of our parts.

So now i’ve found Hans Graf/Graff, 1661-1746 / Page 9 https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/11282437/hans-graf
and Jacob Funck. ^^ And Quakers. And more.

Did my parents know? My grandparents? What would they say?
i find it unlikely they didn’t know - something. What heartaches prevented them from speaking?

i think parents do a lot of “not saying anything” to protect their children.

my father once told me his vision of the U.S. was to NOT fight the “old wars” from Europe; i believe many had this sort of vision, a New World, not bogged down with old wars. at the time, i was young, i wasn’t thinking of religious conflicts. to a great extent, thus far, the states have not fought like the various countries in Europe fought (each other).

well. anyway. i wondered, what were my ancestors doing in history? - during the Reformation years??
i feared what i might find. i really did.

so far, so good.
even if Jacob Funck ruined his legacy by (evidently, beating his wife).
i hope he made amends. it appears he might have, records are that he supported her and provided for her in his will.
he apparently lived a full life, altho only 53 years.

so much happens that is not recorded. most of life is not recorded.