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Robert wrote:I personally would rather have people who disagree with me. it helps me think things through and consider other possibilities. I have no problem with someone I care about disagreeing with me on some issues. I enjoy being challenged, especially by people I trust. I know that they are asking honest questions and actually care about my responses, instead of someone just wanting me to spout their opinions on a subject.

I agree - and I agree that this is true of you.

Robert wrote:The past two months, more of my quietness has been from me working on a new massive project. I plan to release it in a month or two. Until then, busy will be my mind. Once I announce it, there are some here who will struggle or disagree with some of it. I can take that. Some will think I am too worldly and falling into the evil side of things. My answer is "What else is new?"

I'll certainly be interested in hearing about it!

Robert:
I have always known that with you Lester. There are others who can disagree with other's views without condemning the person. I have always felt that way with you and a few others here.

i recall feeling very close and warm and trusting toward you, Robert, for several years.
until that changed, without explanation. you accused me of something but would not explain.
at this point, you ignore me to the point i now wonder if i'm on your foe list.

i accept your right to do this, but, it bothers me. i think that much is understandable.

i will repeat. i think you either misunderstood something i posted, OR, you confused my post with someone else's. i cannot recall anything that would have matched your allegations. you refused to explain or provide the offending post(s.)

you occasionally post regrets to george that you regret the loss of your prior fun relationship with him - i'm sure he does, too! i feel the same, but receive no such lamentations.

in my world, friends are friends. even after hurt feelings, real or imagined.
i understand not all worlds match mine.

but, just to let you know. it bothers me.
if your goal is to hurt - consider your mission accomplished.

temporal1 wrote: Robert, when you write about this kind of thing, i presume you are describing private communication .. i do not see this on forum, or, very little, i have no idea what goes on privately.

however, when perceived attacks are felt, they hurt, whether intended or not, whether factual or not. some have thicker skins than others .. and, thick skins can vary according to circumstances; true for me.

I am sure they seem much more than they actually are because they are hitting open wounds.

There has been much less the past year, one because I post so much less, and two because many who did are very infrequent or gone altogether.

I have no desire to become the center focus of this discussion. Was just trying to make a point that we are all attacked and persecuted at times. It is how we handle ourself during these times that does matter.

While still in the center of the focus, I did remark to my wife last week while at the community pool that it was the first time in 2 years I actually felt like interacting with casual neighbors. Some of the wounds do heal over time. I doubt I will ever be the person I was. Some of who I was, was actually the position I filled. Some was my personality. Position is gone and personality has changed(some for the better, some not so much). Working on the not so much.

Robert wrote:I did remark to my wife last week while at the community pool that it was the first time in 2 years I actually felt like interacting with casual neighbors. Some of the wounds do heal over time. I doubt I will ever be the person I was. Some of who I was, was actually the position I filled. Some was my personality. Position is gone and personality has changed(some for the better, some not so much). Working on the not so much.

Now that's interesting! Can you say more?

Robert wrote:

temporal1 wrote: Robert, when you write about this kind of thing, i presume you are describing private communication .. i do not see this on forum, or, very little, i have no idea what goes on privately.

however, when perceived attacks are felt, they hurt, whether intended or not, whether factual or not. some have thicker skins than others .. and, thick skins can vary according to circumstances; true for me.

I am sure they seem much more than they actually are because they are hitting open wounds.

There has been much less the past year, one because I post so much less, and two because many who did are very infrequent or gone altogether.

I have no desire to become the center focus of this discussion. Was just trying to make a point that we are all attacked and persecuted at times. It is how we handle ourself during these times that does matter.

While still in the center of the focus, I did remark to my wife last week while at the community pool that it was the first time in 2 years I actually felt like interacting with casual neighbors. Some of the wounds do heal over time. I doubt I will ever be the person I was. Some of who I was, was actually the position I filled. Some was my personality. Position is gone and personality has changed(some for the better, some not so much). Working on the not so much.

those of us who care for you do not like the change, because we know it's a result of deep hurt+disappointment. no one wants that for you, our beloved friend.
but, things change, and people change.
i am not all i used to be, some for the much better, some, not so much.
time does that.

So, if I believe I am showing respect to someone by answering their questions but they, in return, do not act accordingly and may go further in ways of showing disrespect for me, how am I as a Christian to react ?

Here is where, imo, turning the other cheek, comes into play. And if the other person is treating me as an enemy or if I perceive they are treating me as an enemy by their action or lack of action, then according to Jesus I must not only bear that response but try to make loving moves toward them which may include accepting them as they are.

What am I missing with this approach ? (which I believe I'm still learning to do).

Sudsy wrote:So, if I believe I am showing respect to someone by answering their questions but they, in return, do not act accordingly and may go further in ways of showing disrespect for me, how am I as a Christian to react ?

Here is where, imo, turning the other cheek, comes into play. And if the other person is treating me as an enemy or if I perceive they are treating me as an enemy by their action or lack of action, then according to Jesus I must not only bear that response but try to make loving moves toward them which may include accepting them as they are.

What am I missing with this approach ? (which I believe I'm still learning to do).

Hmmm? Learning to miss?

Sudsy wrote:So, if I believe I am showing respect to someone by answering their questions but they, in return, do not act accordingly and may go further in ways of showing disrespect for me, how am I as a Christian to react ?

Here is where, imo, turning the other cheek, comes into play. And if the other person is treating me as an enemy or if I perceive they are treating me as an enemy by their action or lack of action, then according to Jesus I must not only bear that response but try to make loving moves toward them which may include accepting them as they are.

What am I missing with this approach ? (which I believe I'm still learning to do).

Narrow is the road ...

There does come a time when we do have to pull away and not be a doormat. Matthew 18 should be a good guide. I would not say it should be the law, but a guide.

temporal1 wrote: those of us who care for you do not like the change, because we know it's a result of deep hurt+disappointment. no one wants that for you, our beloved friend.
but, things change, and people change.
i am not all i used to be, some for the much better, some, not so much.
time does that.

If I recall, you got very upset with me because I was still in conversion with stoltz13.

Maybe I misread things. Maybe the time has passed and I need to let go. Working on that. It used to be second nature to me and I would never hold anything. Not so much anymore.

Bootstrap wrote:

Robert wrote:I did remark to my wife last week while at the community pool that it was the first time in 2 years I actually felt like interacting with casual neighbors. Some of the wounds do heal over time. I doubt I will ever be the person I was. Some of who I was, was actually the position I filled. Some was my personality. Position is gone and personality has changed(some for the better, some not so much). Working on the not so much.

Now that's interesting! Can you say more?

Trusting, endlessly forgiving, and always laughing, even at times that most would not laugh.

My job was to be involved with everyone's life and be ever present for everything but only at the time that was just what someone else wanted/needed.

Now I just focus on my immediate family. The rest of the world will have to learn to survive without me. I don't see them struggling much in learning.