MaxPC wrote:Robert, disagreements are one thing. Ad hominem attacks are another altogether. It's not passive aggressive to refuse to engage such attacks and vitriol. Christ did not answer on many an occasion in the face of false accusations and attacks. It is a choice. The choice to refuse to engage in hostilities is a boundary. There is no aggression on my part. I'm simply focusing on those conversations that give me the most encouragement and insight into Anabaptist thinking vis a vis the discipleship walk. Boundaries should be respected.
To all: check the archives. Click on the names and read the posts. My posts are not aggressive. There are posts by two who are deliberately disruptive and aggressive. The archives do not lie. I've stated my case. That's the sum of it.
One thing, I did not say you were being aggressive, but passive aggressive. A passive aggressive move is to ignore (shun) someone. It is not the only way to be passive aggressive, but it is a way. A passive aggressive act is one that uses a passive action in a way that it targets or tries to point blame at someone else.
Another, if someone asks a challenging question, that is not an attack. Confronting someone is a very Christ like thing to do. Judging them is not. Asking a question that challenges the other is. Making belittling statements about another is not.
The only time Jesus did not answer was on the night of his arrest. Even some of the Gospels show him answering then, just in a challenging way, as he always did. All other times in scripture, we see Jesus responding some way to his accusers or those that questioned him. Even when he said he was not going to give them a response, he actually did in the way he responded.
Engaging one another is hard. One of the reasons why I have grown so quiet over the past 2 years is because it has been very hard. Yet, one thing I have tried to always do is respond to whomever engaged me. I do this for one reason. I am trying to value the other more than myself. There are many times I just choose not to respond to an open post or topic. I have tried really hard to always respond to any question or comment to or about me. Not to defend myself, but to simply engage out of nothing other than respect for another human being. I can not say my responses are always kind or honorable, but I do try. When I miss the mark, I try to own it.
It has not been easy. I have basically been rejected by my denomination as a outspoken troublemaking conservative, and I am often branded a evil liberal with many cM(most here) because I accept woman in leadership, remarriage, and no head coverings. So you have two people asking questions? I have many more assailing me. I may not be able to do anything else, but I will always stand and answer. I do this for two simple reasons. One, I feel it shows value and respect to another. Two, it keeps the door open for any possible hopes for a relationship. Anyone married over a long time knows that communication is key to keeping a healthy relationship that has balance on both sides.
So please hear what I am saying.
One, I do value you.
Two, I am trying to engage in chance that there can be some kind of relationship between us.
You will never be who I want you to be. I will never be who you want me to be. Yet, can we still find ways of respecting one another, and in doing so, build some kind of connection and bond?
Can I ask you a question without you getting defensive and reacting out of that fear?
Will you ask for boundaries that shut me out and make me feel rejected and then I react out of that?
Or, will you become transparent so I can see Christ through you?
And will I not see your acts of separation as rejection so that I do not react in ways that create more separation?
Maybe a little of both from each of us? I honestly wonder if it will be as hard for you to open up as it is for me to not feel rejected and judged? I know the hill I have to climb. I have no idea if you have a big hill, or are just unwilling to take an easy step.