Bunny Trails

When it just doesn't fit anywhere else.
temporal1
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Re: Bunny Trails

Post by temporal1 »

Josh wrote:temporal1,

The OP formally disfellowshipped me and quoted 1 Corinthians 6:10 to inform me that he thinks I have lost my salvation / am not saved.

I generally avoid getting into arguments with the OP and going back-and-forth, but I feel like I can participate in MennoNet too, and I respond sometimes when other people are part of a conversation.

I have asked multiple times for authentic reconciliation between myself and the OP and have gotten no response; at this point, I have given up on that. I don't think it's fair of the OP to request a "boundary" that he can never be challenged by anyone he disagrees with.
yikes.
this forum never ceases to surprise me with responses/no responses.
part of its charm. :)

i suppose, from what i'm reading above, maybe there should be no "foe" option?

i tried it a couple of times in the past, but, did not find it useful, because it only works when you are signed on. i often read without signing on. so, i no longer bother with it.

i've read, max uses it, and, he has some way of staying logged on (?) .. so, it works for him, at least, in a general way.

it doesn't work when members "quote" posts, either.
it's not a perfect system.

however, i appreciate the intent of the option.
the foe option (which i consider an ignore option, not a foe option) .. is intended to allow members to create some space. why not?

while i agree with Robert's view above that discussion CAN lead to better understanding, there are times when space+time are constructive, too. Robert might recall, he has, himself, chosen space+time .. it's valuable. time+space can look different, in different circumstances.

[(Robert and boot know each other IRL, Robert enjoys teasing, bantering with, boot. that's a personal relationship not all have.) it takes time to develop closer relationships, they don't appear overnight. some close relationships begin on rocky roads.]

recall Paul and Barnabas. :-|

conversely, attempting to force discussion just does not work. :(
who has not experienced it?!
i have often said, and believe, "the shortest distance between 2 points is NOT always a straight line."
sometimes, God has another path that we cannot see, that is much better.

but, here's the puzzle (for me, as an observer.) :)
is it reasonable to demand a response from anyone who is unlikely to even see the demand?
then to go on to accuse that person of various failures? which makes him look bad to others who probably do not know he is not seeing those questions, observations, requests, demands?

this would not surprise me, at all, on worldly sites, but it does surprise me on this site.

if the foe option is not going to be observed by members, admin, mods, i would prefer it just go away.
it causes confusion, does not accomplish anything constructive for the forum. (imho.)
at worst, it's misleading, and can cause negative presumptions not based in balanced fact.
that's not good, or godly.

that is my view of the foe option; it's not my decision to make. :)
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Re: Bunny Trails

Post by ohio jones »

temporal1 wrote:i suppose, from what i'm reading above, maybe there should be no "foe" option?

i tried it a couple of times in the past, but, did not find it useful, because it only works when you are signed on. i often read without signing on. so, i no longer bother with it.
Checking the "Remember me" box when logging in will keep you logged in until you haven't visited MN for 3 days or so.
i've read, max uses it, and, he has some way of staying logged on (?) .. so, it works for him, at least, in a general way.
My understanding based on past posts is that the foe option is being exercised mentally rather than electronically. Of course it's possible that I misconstrued, or that it has changed.
justme wrote:don't get caught up in taking sides.
or if you do take sides, make sure you're not being blinded by personal bias.
I think this is excellent advice.
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temporal1
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Re: Bunny Trails

Post by temporal1 »

o.my.goodness.
everyone's coming out to play. :lol:
oj wrote:
temporal1 wrote:i suppose, from what i'm reading above, maybe there should be no "foe" option?
i tried it a couple of times in the past, but, did not find it useful, because it only works when you are signed on. i often read without signing on. so, i no longer bother with it.
Checking the "Remember me" box when logging in will keep you logged in until you haven't visited MN for 3 days or so.
see, this is something i forget: different devices behave differently with these options. i check the "Remember me" box each time - it's purely habit, because, i don't see where it EVER remembers me, for anything! :lol: but, i have read others discuss it a little. their experience varies.
i've read, max uses it, and, he has some way of staying logged on (?) .. so, it works for him, at least, in a general way.
oj wrote:
My understanding based on past posts is that the foe option is being exercised mentally rather than electronically. Of course it's possible that I misconstrued, or that it has changed.
this may very well be. i do not follow all posts, all threads.
but, for myself, if anyone told me i was on their foe list, it would definitely affect me mentally! - and, i wpuld try to honor their request for space. i know this, because, early on, on MD, one esteemed member was very displeased with me. he did not threaten to foe me (which i would not have understood, but would have figured out) .. but, he was very aggressive to me in PM, wpuld not accept explanation or apology, and, "banned" me from ever posting in his threads or responding to him in future! ..

i was shaken.
i had no idea how to respond. i had no idea i had offended. certainly not intentional!
i was new to MD, new to forums, i did not know there was admin or mods to question. i was humiliated and, frankly, frightened.

my response to him: ok.
my actions: i carefully avoided any thread i so much as saw his username.
there were no further admonishments. i don't believe anyone knew, outside of him+me.
things seemed ok. life went on.

after some weeks, or some months, much to my surprise, i noticed, i believe it was in Bunny Trails, he posted a few words. to me! i read+reread many times, i'm often unsure i'm reading correctly. there could be no mistake. he was offering a small, quiet, olive branch. i thought. i still was not sure.

i tested. no explosion. i smiled. how lovely. how very lovely. 8-)
after a bit, i PM'd some short message to him. he replied gentlemanly and warmly.
he has long since left the forum, but, we keep in touch in email, a few times yearly.
he's doing wonderfully, very happy.

it's wonderful.
if i had not respected his original (demand) .. i seriously doubt this would have gone in this positive direction. space+time. :D

this was a dramatic example in my life. but the general experience has repeated.
being right in every moment pushes away God's plan. at least, i find this to be, on a regular basis.
oj wrote:
justme wrote:don't get caught up in taking sides.
or if you do take sides, make sure you're not being blinded by personal bias.
I think this is excellent advice.
it is.
i tried to word my question above to be a general one about how this forum works.
frankly, i expected no response. my posts often receive no response. i'm accustomed to that.

in response to Josh, my question is about the foe option. not about members.
as it is, it seems almost to set up users to be accused of different things, AND, as i tried to describe, for me, it's just generally a useless function, anyway. it's not efficient (for me.)

i would like to see it abandoned. it seems to cause problems instead of eliminating them.
no rule is any good beyond what people are willing to respect.
just in this small discussion, no one seems about to respect the letter or the spirit of it.

what is that old saying about, between two honest men, a handshake is more valuable than a written contract between (dishonest) men? .. something like that.

i pm'd jm earlier. :) . .

i did not intend to post more on this.
then i decided to respond to Josh, and now you. :)

at other times, i have shared privately my views on the foe option with max.
he is a "purist," wanted to have faith it would be effective.
he may still feel that way! i have no idea.

on MD, justme would wisely ask others to not get involved in (spats.) that's a fine way.
my mother was big on this, in our busy family, lots of voices in a small house! :blah:
not always in harmony!

on MN, this has not been continued. i read lots of extra voices regularly chiming in ..
"there is more than one way to skin a cat." :mrgreen: MN is not MD. apples+oranges.

and, that's just how it is. :)

[o. a coding mess. i'll try to fix.
my "select" function is not working well. so, i may or may not be successful] :?
ok. done. it wasn't so bad.
and, thank you, again, justme, for teaching me how to code, early on. :D
i had no idea.
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Bootstrap
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Re: Bunny Trails

Post by Bootstrap »

Hmmm, I'm seeing a lot of talk of sides, boundaries, and male dominance.

This is an open internet forum. There aren't a lot of boundaries there. Max keeps reminding everyone that he is at odds with the two people who have posted most frequently on the forum, and wants to limit where we can post. I have no idea how that's supposed to work. I don't think he sets the rules here. Neither do I, but I don't know how to make room for his taking offense without giving up on this being an open forum. When I ignore his rules, I don't think I'm asserting my male dominance as much as saying that I don't think those are the rules for this forum.

I don't think we should take sides, I think we should just discuss topics, and avoid discussing each other's shortcomings as much as possible. This is an open internet forum. If you say something, someone else will probably disagree, add something to it, question something you said. That's what most of us do with each other here.

All this giving and taking offense isn't worth the energy. And it's one of the big reasons we don't hear more from the CAs that many of us say we would like to hear from more.
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Re: Bunny Trails

Post by Sudsy »

I am not a fan of the ‘foe' option either as I think I need to learn how to get along with anyone who is a brother or sister in the Lord. And sometimes this involves just accepting all those areas that I personally believe are not beneficial to sharing on a forum. Sometimes I turn the other cheek, sometimes I don't. I'm pretty sure that is how some others here deal with my posts. Sometimes they are just not worth disagreeing with with commenting on. Sometimes they are just another round of the same old topic. And I admit I sometimes make one of those blanket remarks, like 'most Mennonites' to tease out some respose and I need to quit doing that.

I think some of us come from backgrounds where we were seldom challenged in how we believed or acted. Others of us, the opposite, and we are quite at home defending our beliefs and ways. Some of us likely have control issues and we don't see ourselves as others do.

Well, enough rambling, but l guess l'm trying to say that, imo, we need to accept each other for all those differences in us. Not something that comes easy for some of us. And I suspect I will need to accept that others will not agree with the way I said this just now. But thats OK. When God made us into new creations He didn't make us think and act the same. I need to respect that.
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Re: Bunny Trails

Post by Bootstrap »

Sudsy wrote:I think some of us come from backgrounds where we were seldom challenged in how we believed or acted. Others of us, the opposite, and we are quite at home defending our beliefs and ways. Some of us likely have control issues and we don't see ourselves as others do.

Well, enough rambling, but l guess l'm trying to say that, imo, we need to accept each other for all those differences in us. Not something that comes easy for some of us.
Yes, I agree.

For what it's worth, when I ask questions in threads that Max starts, I don't expect him to answer, but I think I should ask anyway. Others respond to the questions I ask.

For perspective, Josh, Max, Temp, and I are among the top 5 posters, assuming Robert's post count is accurate. I think we should assume that we are all here, and that we all post. Public feuds among us really trash the whole board. If you post anything on MN, you should probably assume that it's quite likely that any one of us might weigh in on the thread. If that bothers anyone, maybe posting on MN isn't the best strategy. If Max wants to publicly shun the two most frequent posters on MN while participating here, I have no idea how that's supposed to work.
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temporal1
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Re: Bunny Trails

Post by temporal1 »

i had an unexpected chat with an old friend this pm. :D
it was uplifting.

i'm praying for a family who is struggliing right now.
hoping they get some help, somehow.

wondering how i'm going to pay for insulin, i'm in the medicare coverage gap now.
medicare is not free! it's a continual worry.

i'll be with my family soon.
this time, i hope to find some kind of pt work while i'm there, to pay for med.
there is more work there.

i hope the house+car do ok while i'm away. summer heat is hard on them; bugs like to take over. wasps and spiders.

dr appt tomorrow. should go ok. hopefully, no surprises.
hope to get some med samples before i go. not guaranteed.
some have to be kept cold. a hassle on flights, but, not impossible. i learned last year.

bunny trails, and bunny trails ..
Last edited by temporal1 on Wed Jun 28, 2017 9:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Bunny Trails

Post by ohio jones »

Bootstrap wrote:For perspective, Josh, Max, Temp, and I are among the top 5 posters, assuming Robert's post count is accurate. I think we should assume that we are all here, and that we all post.
Assumptions are dangerous things.

For example, we assume that Bootstrap and MaxPC are two separate people. But has anyone actually seen them together? Or for that matter, has anyone met both of them, even at separate times and places? I was perusing buckeyematt's blog just now, and noticed a reference to a guy named Max Boot. Apparently he is a real person, and according to Wikipedia (we all know how reliable that is) does not post on MN under either his first name or his last, but ... what if ... ?
:o :shock: :?
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temporal1
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Re: Bunny Trails

Post by temporal1 »

ohio jones wrote:
Bootstrap wrote:For perspective, Josh, Max, Temp, and I are among the top 5 posters, assuming Robert's post count is accurate. I think we should assume that we are all here, and that we all post.
Assumptions are dangerous things.

For example, we assume that Bootstrap and MaxPC are two separate people. But has anyone actually seen them together? Or for that matter, has anyone met both of them, even at separate times and places? I was perusing buckeyematt's blog just now, and noticed a reference to a guy named Max Boot. Apparently he is a real person, and according to Wikipedia (we all know how reliable that is) does not post on MN under either his first name or his last, but ... what if ... ?
:o :shock: :?
love this!
it so rings a bell, from when i first began on MD.
my son and daughter were adamant, do not join a forum! do not trust anyone!

at that time, george and Robert were busy posters .. when i spoke about them, my son was .. full of warnings! - "they could all be one person!" - "they could be a big scam!" - etc.,
and, i do mean, "etc." :lol:

forum memories .. :D
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Re: Bunny Trails

Post by MattY »

ohio jones wrote:
Bootstrap wrote:For perspective, Josh, Max, Temp, and I are among the top 5 posters, assuming Robert's post count is accurate. I think we should assume that we are all here, and that we all post.
Assumptions are dangerous things.

For example, we assume that Bootstrap and MaxPC are two separate people. But has anyone actually seen them together? Or for that matter, has anyone met both of them, even at separate times and places? I was perusing buckeyematt's blog just now, and noticed a reference to a guy named Max Boot. Apparently he is a real person, and according to Wikipedia (we all know how reliable that is) does not post on MN under either his first name or his last, but ... what if ... ?
:o :shock: :?
Bahaha
:lol:
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