Mid-life crisis/Life begins at 40, etc.

[steve-in-kville]

Perhaps an off-shoot of the depression thread is warranted, as I've been thinking a lot about mental health and some of the "issues" we all face from time to time, as well as the different phases of life.

Do we as Christians believe in such a thing as having a mid-life crisis?

Can any of the 40 and over members here attest to "life begins at 40"?

Are these simply secular concepts?

(I don't have any particular direction for this thread. Please discuss at will)

[Bootstrap]

I'm not sure one size fits all, different people have different paths and different feelings.

A lot of Christians spend their entire life asking the kinds of questions that come up in a midlife crisis. What is my life about? Am I doing what really matters most? Is this the way I want to spend my time and my life? Am I being the person I was meant to be? Am I being good to the people around me? We are aware of our mortality, that our time on earth is limited.

I prefer a daily midlife crisis. My mother used to buy Monk's Bread, and every loaf contained a piece of paper with this saying:

This is the beginning of a new day. So whatever time you are getting this message, right now it’s the beginning of the rest of your day. This is the beginning.

God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste it or I can use it for good.

What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever, leaving in its place something I have traded for it.

I want it to have: gain not loss, good not evil, success not failure, in order that I shall not regret the price I paid for it.

I've been having that kind of midlife crisis since my teens.

[Mennogal]

Perhaps an off-shoot of the depression thread is warranted, as I've been thinking a lot about mental health and some of the "issues" we all face from time to time, as well as the different phases of life.

Do we as Christians believe in such a thing as having a mid-life crisis?

Can any of the 40 and over members here attest to "life begins at 40"?

Are these simply secular concepts?

(I don't have any particular direction for this thread. Please discuss at will)

I had a “mid-life” experience as it were at 50, when I began to think about my life and wanted to contribute more or do something more socially responsible, and this is what led me to the Convent eventually. I still search for ways to serve God, but He hasn’t quite spoken about what is in store for me yet.

[Neto]

I went through an identity crisis after we came back from the mission field, and finally I realized that we would probably not return there. I was around 50, but I don't think it was related to my age. Now, more than 10 years later, the realization that I did it once, and I can never go back & do it again - that's what's sometimes difficult for me to accept. I try to pass on the vision to young people, but I'm not very good at that. (But if I was young again, I would do it all over again, no second thoughts. And for that I am very thankful. I can't imagine what it would be like to be at my age, and realize that I had not lived my purpose at all.) (Where is the crying smile face?)

[temporal1]

I went through an identity crisis after we came back from the mission field, and finally I realized that we would probably not return there. I was around 50, but I don't think it was related to my age.

Now, more than 10 years later, the realization that I did it once, and I can never go back & do it again - that's what's sometimes difficult for me to accept.

I try to pass on the vision to young people, but I'm not very good at that. (But if I was young again, I would do it all over again, no second thoughts. And for that I am very thankful.

I can't imagine what it would be like to be at my age, and realize that I had not lived my purpose at all.) (Where is the crying smile face?)

i struggle with “what are my options?” and, the reality of mortality. esp how it fits in the bigger picture.

we get so wrapped up in the moment, which is sometimes very good, as you describe your experiences in Brazil; for me, my family was my mission. likewise, no regrets.

but, when one outlives their mission, then what? life goes on.
eventually, all earthly matters literally fade to dust, as it always has.
as we are walking on others’ ground, soon, others will walk on us.

sometimes i think of young athletes who peak in their teens or 20’s. then what?
some do well reinventing themselves, some do not. this must be difficult.
the world uses them, “all they’ve got,” for entertainment, then forgets them.

when i was in my early 20’s, a former employer counseled me, “don’t worry about age.”
he said every age has something unique to offer. every age provides.
i find a lot of wisdom in this. no age has everything! there are parts of each age that are more special or more difficult, but, each age provides. by God’s design.

it’s not easy to know there will be no going back to a time so fulfilling and loved.
esp the part about loved ones who have since died, whose presence made those times what they were.

i will soon be with my family again!
my grdaughter and i are so close. i worry about how she will adjust when i have passed on.
i hope she has treasured memories. esp, faith to carry her in a harsh world.

i sensed my mother worried i would not do well without her.
at the time of her illness+death, i tried to assure her i would be fine.
she knew better. she knew very well how long that walk can seem without close loved ones.

[lesterb]

I think a mid-life crisis is the time when we realize that we are not going to live on this earth forever. Sure we all say that we believe that ever since our teens, but there is a time when it sinks in. I look back ten years and it wasn't that long ago. I look ahead ten years and realize that my basic usefulness as far as making a living, etc. will be over by then. Anything really useful that I want to do yet I need to get done in the next decade or before.

That is your midlife crisis. It also includes the realization that many of your dreams are only that.

I think that the book of Ecclesiastes was born out of Solomon's mid life crisis. He woke up and saw that life was not under his control, even though he was a king. Many people hit that crisis when they realize that they are losing control of life. Their children now tell them what they should do rather than the other way around. Eventually, they even need to depend on others for their basic needs.

It's no wonder that people get depressed at this reality when it finally sinks in. But I think God has planned it that way for our own spiritual good. No one gets to heaven without having given control into the hands of God. A good solid mid-life crisis helps that to happen.

[steve-in-kville]

Some insightful replies so far. This has been on my mind a lot as of late. Going through a spiritual revival of sorts. Coming to terms with some past hurts and shortcomings. Wondering where God is leading me....

[Hats Off]

I think a mid-life crisis is the time when we realize that we are not going to live on this earth forever. Sure we all say that we believe that ever since our teens, but there is a time when it sinks in. I look back ten years and it wasn't that long ago. I look ahead ten years and realize that my basic usefulness as far as making a living, etc. will be over by then. Anything really useful that I want to do yet I need to get done in the next decade or before.

That is your midlife crisis. It also includes the realization that many of your dreams are only that.

I think that the book of Ecclesiastes was born out of Solomon's mid life crisis. He woke up and saw that life was not under his control, even though he was a king. Many people hit that crisis when they realize that they are losing control of life. Their children now tell them what they should do rather than the other way around. Eventually, they even need to depend on others for their basic needs.

It's no wonder that people get depressed at this reality when it finally sinks in. But I think God has planned it that way for our own spiritual good. No one gets to heaven without having given control into the hands of God. A good solid mid-life crisis helps that to happen.

I can echo Lester's words bolded above - I am 7 years into the next decade that he talks about. At this point if I can break even, I am doing as good as can be expected. I am still working and earning a living. We are able to look after ourselves even though we do receive and reluctantly accept advice from our 40 year old children. A year ago I became involved with MDS on a project but that was a bonus. I would enjoy doing more similar things but am limited by energy.

So enjoy your 40s even if it includes a mid-life crisis. However there are better ways of dealing with it than by buying a new boat or a motorcycle or sports car. Take that energy and invest it in people; girls like Signtist's late sister-in-law for example. There is so much we can do if we have the time, energy and training to it. Go to that workshop that Ernie is putting on - enjoy the fellowship with the other trainees and get some ideas on how to deal more effectively with unbelievers.

[temporal1]

Perhaps an off-shoot of the depression thread is warranted, as I've been thinking a lot about mental health and some of the "issues" we all face from time to time, as well as the different phases of life.

Do we as Christians believe in such a thing as having a mid-life crisis?

Can any of the 40 and over members here attest to "life begins at 40"?

Are these simply secular concepts?

(I don't have any particular direction for this thread. Please discuss at will)

returning to your OP, i don’t believe my first post responded to your specific question,
“the 40’s thing.”

certainly, people differ, in my case, i did experience an unexpected “euphoria” of sorts, in those years. i felt good. i felt young. i was working hard, children growing up, we were active in church throughout the weeks/years .. it was a busy, productive, time. my husband wasn’t ill, parents+inlaws active and happy. life was full. no politics! no big worries about schools, or bathrooms.

it was a challenge to find enough hours in the day, but, it was a good challenge.
by that time, i was relying on heartfelt early morning prayers to begin my days.

(on MD, there were different CM young women with families that reminded me of those happy, fulfilling times.)

that period lasted for some years. but the peak was around 40 (for me.)
there was a sort of euphoria for a time. i did not buy a sports car!
i can imagine how those things happen in a period like that. for men and women.

40’s can be a time when you feel as good as you ever did in your youth, but, with more maturity, better balance, more confidence, maybe in work, or other ..
before aches+pains set in.

(i think) men can feel pretty good about themselves in those years.
men like to feel “in control of their destinies.”
for some, a sports car, or other indulgence, comes into play.

i recall my mother, 88, saying my husband was “in his prime years,” late 50’s ..
he could have been. but, terminal illness set in, taking that experience from him.

there are no set rules.
some infants/children receive terminal diagnoses, there are countless possible variations.
we lost different friends along the way, teens, young adults, these never experienced their full years.
common questions are, why did they die? why have i lived?
some questions cannot be answered. we can have acceptance of God’s will.

Christian or secular? hmm.
i suppose i accepted my 40’s experiences as part of God’s design,
so much of who we are is determined at conception, and, frankly, i wonder if not before conception? .. we are designed to have stages of life.

“the 40’s” is a part of life stages, as much as being a child or teen. no?

the responses can be godly or ungodly!
when ungodly, Jesus is waiting ..

(fwiw, i believe) the stage you’re in is real, it’s part of God’s plan, it won’t “be like this” “forever.”
(i agree with Hats Off) - live it, embrace it, pray for Jesus to guide you through it.
God willing, in His time, you will have fond memories. not too many regrets.

i wrote this last night. decided to go ahead and submit it.

after thought.
then, there are some like one of my uncles.
he lived into his 90’s, age seemed to do nothing but add to his vitality!
he was a strong Christian. and, he lived his temporal life! he was robust.
truly. no set rules.

[MaxPC]

Mid-life crisis? I don't remember.