Passive-Aggressive: How can you tell?

[Bootstrap]

just because a person uses a lot of words doesn't mean their words are not pot-shots.
"a lot of words" often equal "a lot of words."

Sure, and if I say anything that is a pot-shot, please call me on it. I try not to do that.

[Bootstrap]

Like Temp, I'm not sure that passive-aggressive is always a well-defined term - and that's why I started this thread. I checked, and I haven't used the term to describe anyone.

I'm guessing, but perhaps this is what people meant when they used the term. In a discussion, some posts keep moving the discussion along, responding to the topic, offering other opinions, more information, feelings about the topic, in a way that keeps the game going. If this were volleyball, it's like bouncing the ball back into the air so someone else can take it. It's safe to have opinions, information is valued, the people are valued, people can disagree strongly about the topic and still like each other.

Some posts try to get in the way of allowing someone to offer an opinion, ignoring what the other person says, casting doubt on the other person's character instead. "All good people agree with me, if you disagree with me you are not good, I am not going to respond to anything you said, and this is not up for discussion." That tears down people and makes no room to get smarter together by bouncing opinions off each other and learning from each other.

[KingdomBuilder]

A sure sign of a passive aggressive comment on the internet is a blatantly rude, snarky comment followed by a completely unnecessary smiley ( )

[temporal1]

A sure sign of a passive aggressive comment on the internet is a blatantly rude, snarky comment followed by a completely unnecessary smiley ( )

weak, KB -
proving, sometimes, superficially PA statements are really nothing more than under-the-radar "stabs" at peacemaking.

[ken_sylvania]

A sure sign of a passive aggressive comment on the internet is a blatantly rude, snarky comment followed by a completely unnecessary smiley ( )

weak, KB -
proving, sometimes, superficially PA statements are really nothing more than under-the-radar "stabs" at peacemaking.

??????????

[temporal1]

A sure sign of a passive aggressive comment on the internet is a blatantly rude, snarky comment followed by a completely unnecessary smiley ( )

weak, KB -
proving, sometimes, superficially PA statements are really nothing more than under-the-radar "stabs" at peacemaking.

??????????

sorry. did not intend to confuse.
the way i understand KB's intent is that he was using PA "hallmarks," language+icons, to bring a bit of levity to the discussion. i may have misunderstood. he knows his intent. i was guessing.

[lesterb]

weak, KB -
proving, sometimes, superficially PA statements are really nothing more than under-the-radar "stabs" at peacemaking.

??????????

sorry. did not intend to confuse.
the way i understand KB's intent is that he was using PA "hallmarks," language+icons, to bring a bit of levity to the discussion. i may have misunderstood. he knows his intent. i was guessing.

I can't speak for KB, but that sure wasn't how I understood his post. The smiley's at the end of his post were simply illustrating the ones that people use to try to disguise their purpose.

You know...

"I'm going to tell him what I think." Then add a to hide behind. And if someone calls me out, I have no idea what they are talking about. I guess that's the "christian" way of being nasty. It happens in church life all the time - people say what they think, then claim everyone misunderstood them.

[temporal1]

??????????

sorry. did not intend to confuse.
the way i understand KB's intent is that he was using PA "hallmarks," language+icons, to bring a bit of levity to the discussion. i may have misunderstood. he knows his intent. i was guessing.

I can't speak for KB, but that sure wasn't how I understood his post. The smiley's at the end of his post were simply illustrating the ones that people use to try to disguise their purpose.

You know...

"I'm going to tell him what I think." Then add a to hide behind. And if someone calls me out, I have no idea what they are talking about. I guess that's the "christian" way of being nasty. It happens in church life all the time - people say what they think, then claim everyone misunderstood them.

yes, it happens just as you describe. but it doesn't -always- happen like that.
as i "get to know" KB, i see a consistent clean heart; when trust is established, communication opens up. i posted, attempting friendly teasing, leaving him to respond or not, as he chooses. i do not detect anything negative, openly, or hidden, but, sure, others will read according to their experience. it can be no other way.

human relationships are risky, whether in real life or online.

a favorite pastor used to speak to this sometimes, he was known for his compassion and sincere, giving, faithful heart. he described human relationships as the greatest challenge we experience. i believe he was describing all relationships, family, friends, church, school, workplace .. we learn+learn throughout our lives. work never complete. not on earth.

[Josh]

I'm pretty much the king of passive aggressive snark in online forums. Y'all should be glad I've never unleashed it on any of you here.

[Wade]

??????????

sorry. did not intend to confuse.
the way i understand KB's intent is that he was using PA "hallmarks," language+icons, to bring a bit of levity to the discussion. i may have misunderstood. he knows his intent. i was guessing.

I can't speak for KB, but that sure wasn't how I understood his post. The smiley's at the end of his post were simply illustrating the ones that people use to try to disguise their purpose.

You know...

"I'm going to tell him what I think." Then add a to hide behind. And if someone calls me out, I have no idea what they are talking about. I guess that's the "christian" way of being nasty. It happens in church life all the time - people say what they think, then claim everyone misunderstood them.

It also does seem so often that within Christianity people would like to label others and also think they understand them because of a few things they do or don't do. Background and situation can really confuse people who think they know someone but in fact are off. Jumping to conclusions isn't something I would consider so much of a mutual misunderstanding as much as one person's misunderstanding. Now the misunderstanding one can feel the other is passive-aggressive but really are just fooling themselves.