Communication norms

When it just doesn't fit anywhere else.
KingdomBuilder
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Communication norms

Post by KingdomBuilder »

The other day, someone of a different subculture and ethnic group sent me an email. I didn't know how to respond really, because the communication style was so different from what I'd approach someone with.

It's obvious that people with similarities will have a similar set of unwritten norms of communication. So, what are some of such unwritten, but well practiced, norms within CA circles?
Granted, my sample is small, but in the letters I've wrote, in the conversations I've had, and even in online interactions with CAs, it would appear that there are some differences in this area. It's enough for me to notice, but not enough for me to articulate.

I know this is pretty subjective, and obviously plenty of CAs communicate just the same as everyone else, but can anyone elaborate some on the unwritten norms of communication in your circles?
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temporal1
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Re: Communication norms

Post by temporal1 »

i often identify with your pov, being an interested non-Anabaptist on this forum.
i would venture to guess (?) .. when i respond to you, it’s from that particular perspective.
i agree with your observation about how various groups/non-groups have certain ways of communicating, sometimes very-very subtle differences.

fwiw, on this forum, and privately with different members over years, in my experience, Anabaptists make generous use of both silence, and, succinctness in communication. and, messages are given+received/understood this way.

i like it. it’s familiar to me. i “listen” for it. i want to know what is (not) being said.
very similar to the world i was born into, before “talk” TV, et al.
in the past, silence and restraint were of great value, not among Anabaptists, alone.

as has been occasionally noted, to begin, Anabaptists were not “so distinct” from their neighbors. not even in dress, family relationships, church rules, etc. this is interesting to think+read about.

looking forward to others’ thoughts on your OP. :D
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KingdomBuilder
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Re: Communication norms

Post by KingdomBuilder »

Hopefully we can get some response.
Temporal1 wrote:Anabaptists make generous use of both silence, and, succinctness in communication.
If others confirm this, then it could explain why I've been close to taking offense a few times. In my area/ upbringing, this is considered to be very rude.
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temporal1
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Re: Communication norms

Post by temporal1 »

KingdomBuilder wrote:Hopefully we can get some response.
Temporal1 wrote:Anabaptists make generous use of both silence, and, succinctness in communication.
If others confirm this, then it could explain why I've been close to taking offense a few times. In my area/ upbringing, this is considered to be very rude.
if accurate, don’t let silence surprise you. :)

one thing. Neto may add something here ..
we all seem to be less conscious of our own culture, whatever that may be, we have trouble seeing ourselves from a “birds’ eye view.”
in my family, years ago, they would not speak of their silence, silence was the norm!
people don’t discuss norms so much. we discuss the unusual, the different, etc.

interesting, tho.
both my mother and father, by their older years, became much more open, they chatted and laughed, as not before. i suppose some was the change in the outer culture, some was relaxing after the great responsibility of raising 6 children, most born into a world that had no polio vaccine, for one example. no health insurance, no food stamps, no guarantees. a lot of work. a lot of prayer.

my parents often feared losing us to childhood illness, accident, wars, etc.
they did not take life for granted. every year would be met with some type of measles, chicken pox, etc. - the list was long. living with those facts of life is a different way of life.

honestly, when i watch so many (disgrunted, entitled) young people today (who have good health, abundant food, clean clothing, more education than they want, tech gadgets galore, etc.) - i do wonder how the world might seem to them, if they had endured multiple life threatening diseases, actual hunger, no certainty of education? .. no unsecured credit, no cash flow.

how can people coming from such different life experiences understand one another?
what is the definition of privilege and entitlement?

i digress. :-|
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ohio jones
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Re: Communication norms

Post by ohio jones »

temporal1 wrote:i digress. :-|
That does seem to be one communication norm. :P

I haven't engaged in a lot of introspective analysis, and perhaps my writing doesn't fit neatly into an established box either, but I've noticed a distinctive style among MCUSA writers. Maybe it's the vocabulary, the cadence, or something else; I'm not sure entirely what it is, but I know it when I see it.
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Re: Communication norms

Post by KingdomBuilder »

ohio jones wrote:I haven't engaged in a lot of introspective analysis, and perhaps my writing doesn't fit neatly into an established box either, but I've noticed a distinctive style among MCUSA writers. Maybe it's the vocabulary, the cadence, or something else; I'm not sure entirely what it is, but I know it when I see it.
MCUSA stuff reminds me of what I've seen with Episcopalians.
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Hats Off
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Re: Communication norms

Post by Hats Off »

The best way to respond is openly, directly, to find out what was meant in the email - don't be shy. I don't know of any unwritten communication norms.
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Josh
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Re: Communication norms

Post by Josh »

Hats Off wrote:The best way to respond is openly, directly, to find out what was meant in the email - don't be shy. I don't know of any unwritten communication norms.
Most North Americans wouldn’t feel this is “the best way”.
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KingdomBuilder
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Re: Communication norms

Post by KingdomBuilder »

Josh wrote:Most North Americans wouldn’t feel this is “the best way”.
You're probably right. A front of pleasantness is much preferred to direct openness and honesty.
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hillperson
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Re: Communication norms

Post by hillperson »

One thing about most Mennonites is they are German/Swiss background. The German part of them makes them very stoic for the most part.... If you keep that in mind it helps to communicate with them. Work is very important to them and a lot of them need help with being effective communicators.

I realize I'm painting them with a wide brush -there are many exceptions to the rule. ;)
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