Why Don't Mennonite Men Hug?

The lighter side of things. A place for humor and joyful things.
YorkandAdams
Posts: 120
Joined: Sat Jun 10, 2017 10:12 am
Affiliation:

Why Don't Mennonite Men Hug?

Post by YorkandAdams »

So as an outsider, I have always been baffled that Mennonite men are willing to kiss another man on the mouth, but not give another man a hug. Here is my theory why.

Several men in my congregation were discussing the history of the church, and it was mentioned that the church had only installed air conditioning within the last 15 years. Now taking that into consideration, I also thought about the jobs that most of the men historically held. Farmers, Farmers, and (you guessed it) more Farmers. Now how would you want to be greeted by a Farmer in the middle of the summer with no air conditioning. Not with a hug!!!! This social custom is probably why women in the church are more open to hugging each other (occasionally), and why you will never see a Mennonite man hug another Mennonite man. Any thoughts?
0 x
User avatar
Josh
Posts: 23806
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2016 6:23 pm
Location: 1000' ASL
Affiliation: The church of God

Re: Why Don't Mennonite Men Hug?

Post by Josh »

Hugging is a relatively recent thing as part of a casual greeting. Tradition minded Mennonites are slower to absorb new outside cultural practices, and this is no exception.
0 x
Sudsy
Posts: 5854
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2017 3:32 pm
Affiliation: .

Re: Why Don't Mennonite Men Hug?

Post by Sudsy »

Why don't Mennonite men hug ? Because it could lead to dancing. :laugh
0 x
Pursuing a Kingdom life in the Spirit
Ernie
Posts: 5445
Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2016 2:48 pm
Location: Central PA
Affiliation: Anabaptist Umbrella
Contact:

Re: Why Don't Mennonite Men Hug?

Post by Ernie »

Josh wrote:Hugging is a relatively recent thing as part of a casual greeting. Tradition minded Mennonites are slower to absorb new outside cultural practices, and this is no exception.
Yes!

Plus, kissing is not a sign of affection or warmness. It is an act of obedience.
Ultra conservative men typically don't hug anyone including their children. Many wouldn't even hug their wife in front of their children at home. Less conservative men do a bit of hugging and the spectrum continues.
Huggers tend to not be very keen on kissing other men, and so as a subculture gets more familiar with hugging, using the kiss as a greeting tends to decline.
0 x
The old woodcutter spoke again. “It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge?"
User avatar
Bootstrap
Posts: 14438
Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2016 9:59 am
Affiliation: Mennonite

Re: Why Don't Mennonite Men Hug?

Post by Bootstrap »

Ernie wrote:Plus, kissing is not a sign of affection or warmness. It is an act of obedience.
What do you think it symbolizes? "Greet one another with a holy kiss" implies some kind of welcoming and greeting. Handshakes, hugs, mediterranean kisses all seem to involve affection and warmth. The word used for kiss, φιλήματι, is closely related to various words for love (φιλέω, etc).

I had an odd experience at a Christian event in France. For some reason, my assigned small group was all French women, who greeted each other and me each day with one to three kisses on the cheek, depending on which region they were from. When I suggested perhaps a hug instead - which would be more comfortable in my culture - they were a little shocked, they thought men and women shouldn't get that close. Hugs and kisses involve intimacy, and they can be uncomfortable, they bring up important boundary issues. And what is comfortable in one culture is not in another.

But are we sometimes afraid to take love and affection seriously and give them their proper place? If love is the sign that we are the disciples of Christ, perhaps we need to get more comfortable with showing love?
0 x
Is it biblical? Is it Christlike? Is it loving? Is it true? How can I find out?
joshuabgood
Posts: 2815
Joined: Fri Oct 21, 2016 5:23 pm
Affiliation: BMA

Re: Why Don't Mennonite Men Hug?

Post by joshuabgood »

Germanic stoicism accounts for quite a bit of the "nonhugging."

Generally I am in favor of hugging and I think the kiss of brotherhood is also an appropriately affectionate greeting. (not on the lips...on the cheek)

Josh
0 x
appleman2006
Posts: 2455
Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2016 1:50 pm
Affiliation: Midwest Mennonite

Re: Why Don't Mennonite Men Hug?

Post by appleman2006 »

joshuabgood wrote:Germanic stoicism accounts for quite a bit of the "nonhugging."

Generally I am in favor of hugging and I think the kiss of brotherhood is also an appropriately affectionate greeting. (not on the lips...on the cheek)

Josh
I agree. I am quite sure that kissing on the lips is not commanded in scripture. And frankly I am not at all sure that the literal observance of a kiss on the cheek is the best way to symbolize or show that we love our brothers in this day anymore.

A hearty handshake or a hug are actually much more meaningful to me.
0 x
Signtist
Posts: 833
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 8:07 am
Location: Southern Ontario
Affiliation: Midwest

Re: Why Don't Mennonite Men Hug?

Post by Signtist »

YorkandAdams wrote:...and why you will never see a Mennonite man hug another Mennonite man.
Oh! Men aren't supposed to hug? I never got that memo.
0 x
User avatar
Josh
Posts: 23806
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2016 6:23 pm
Location: 1000' ASL
Affiliation: The church of God

Re: Why Don't Mennonite Men Hug?

Post by Josh »

Ernie wrote:
Josh wrote:Hugging is a relatively recent thing as part of a casual greeting. Tradition minded Mennonites are slower to absorb new outside cultural practices, and this is no exception.
Yes!

Plus, kissing is not a sign of affection or warmness. It is an act of obedience.
Ultra conservative men typically don't hug anyone including their children.
Is this true of Nationwide Fellowship men? I observe them hugging their children.

Of course, Nationwide Fellowship lies somewhere between intermediate conservatives and ultra-conservatives. I believe Cory Anderson put it in a class of its own.
0 x
KingdomBuilder
Posts: 1482
Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2016 9:00 pm
Affiliation: church of Christ

Re: Why Don't Mennonite Men Hug?

Post by KingdomBuilder »

My rural (Protestant) congregation is very keen on hugging.
Interestingly, everyone hugs. Not just male-to-male.
A bit off topic, but thought I'd share anyways. :)
0 x
Ponder anew what the Almighty can do
Post Reply