Creative and restorative ways of helping people learn to do what they should

[Ernie]

Most people in life don't give a lot of thought as to how they can help people the most. They just resort to the easiest thing such as calling the police, calling the tow truck, taking people to court, pulling a gun, giving people the silent treatment, taking out their frustrations on others, punishing others, etc.

I've heard that the best ideas don't come until about suggestion #7 or #8. In other words, whatever comes to our mind first is probably not a very good idea.

This thread is for mentioning creative things that you've heard others doing, or a place to float ideas to see what others may think of your idea.

[Ernie]

I'll start with a story from my great-grandfather...

As I remember it, my great-grandfather had trouble with people stealing gasoline from his farm. So he put a bag of cornmeal by the gas tank with a note that said, if you are hungry, please take this along with you. That was the end of people stealing gas from him.

This maybe only worked in his era and his locality... not sure where and how well that would work today... but it gives you an idea of what I am looking for.

[Ernie]

And here is a story I posted in another thread...

Jonas Sauder talks about a business that decided to hire "losers" rather than send money to missions. Rather than send money to missionaries - be the missionary. The business owner got his employees on board with the concept, and they hired their first "loser". After a few days, the fellow employees notice that the new employee was spending a lot for lunch at fast food places. They explained how much he could save a year by packing a lunch like they did.
How do you make a sandwich? The man asked.
"Well... you go to a grocery store and buy a loaf of bread, lunch meat, cheese, butter, and lettuce, (whatever you like in your sandwich) smear the butter on the bread, then lay the various items on top of each other and finish off with another piece of bread."
The next day the new employee showed up with no lunch. When his fellow employees asked about the lunch idea the man replied, "I did what you said to do, but when I got home, I was hungry, so I ate most of the ingredients."

There are at least two things to learn from this...
1. It is possible to have a worldview and mission in this world that functions differently from how most businesspersons function.
2. It is going to take a long time to teach principles day by day. (Just like we teach our children.) Don't expect that telling someone what to do will translate into a transformed individual. A few folks will get it by words only, but most people will need to be taught, shown, reminded, coached, etc. for many years. And it will need to be done with grace and kindness, (just like we are supposed to handle our children) and not with condescending comments and mannerisms. (Most folks with needs have already gotten several lifetimes worth of condescending comments and actions. They don't need more.)

[justme]

Most people in life don't give a lot of thought as to how they can help people the most. They just resort to the easiest thing such as calling the police, calling the tow truck, taking people to court, pulling a gun, giving people the silent treatment, taking out their frustrations on others, punishing others, etc.

I've heard that the best ideas don't come until about suggestion #7 or #8. In other words, whatever comes to our mind first is probably not a very good idea.

This thread is for mentioning creative things that you've heard others doing, or a place to float ideas to see what others may think of your idea.

i don't have a creative idea for you.
but i did want to say that some folks just don't learn without pain.

it's kind of like i said about izzy (my dog)
she was treat motivated, and she was pain motivated
she was very easy to train, i just had to be trained first so that i knew how to help her.

some people respond to kindness, others will only respond to pain
some people respond to the love of Jesus
others have to hit rock bottom first before they can respond to love.

and sometimes in our attempts to help or teach, we forget that people are different, and respond differently.

[Ernie]

Back to the OP please... and perhaps a moderator can move the off topic posts please... Thanks!

[Ken]

Back to the OP please... and perhaps a moderator can move the off topic posts please... Thanks!

Sorry.

My main point was that it is very difficult to teach people how to interact with each other in civilized and considerate ways when we have built a world in which that actually rarely happens.

[justme]

See Part 2 for the moved posts.
viewtopic.php?f=8&t=6259

[Ernie]

Most people in life don't give a lot of thought as to how they can help people the most. They just resort to the easiest thing such as calling the police, calling the tow truck, taking people to court, pulling a gun, giving people the silent treatment, taking out their frustrations on others, punishing others, etc.

I've heard that the best ideas don't come until about suggestion #7 or #8. In other words, whatever comes to our mind first is probably not a very good idea.

This thread is for mentioning creative things that you've heard others doing, or a place to float ideas to see what others may think of your idea.

i don't have a creative idea for you.
but i did want to say that some folks just don't learn without pain.

it's kind of like i said about izzy (my dog)
she was treat motivated, and she was pain motivated
she was very easy to train, i just had to be trained first so that i knew how to help her.

some people respond to kindness, others will only respond to pain
some people respond to the love of Jesus
others have to hit rock bottom first before they can respond to love.

and sometimes in our attempts to help or teach, we forget that people are different, and respond differently.

I agree that some do not learn without pain. And if people do not understand this, they can end up doing more harm than good in many situations. The book, "When Helping Hurts" describes this well.

I don't think that random or intentional acts of kindness is going to hurt anyone. I think ongoing aid without any expectation of contributing back to society is what is harmful.

History is full of examples in which people (both Christians and non-Christians) showed compassion, showed mercy, showed their fellow humans a better way, and helped their fellow humans live a different way. This has resulted in hundreds of thousands (maybe millions) of people choosing to live a better life that is a contribution to society rather than a drain on society.

And history is full of examples of Christians who laid down their lives for others. And this has resulted in many thousands of people deciding to follow Jesus.

Does everyone who was shown compassion live a different life or being following Jesus? Not at all. But some do. And anyone who follows the example of Jesus, will extend this to all people, with the hopes of rescuing a few. God sends rain on the just and the unjust.
If God only exacted fairness and justice for crimes committed, and did not extend compassion, He would only send rain on the just.

So, that is why in this thread, I want to focus on creative and restorative ways of helping people.
Perhaps the Part 2 thread can focus on ways we should not be helping people.

[Sudsy]

I believe the number one, in importance, in 'helping people to learn to do what they should' is to believe, focus and share the Gospel with others. There are many ways of caring for others and being an example in words and deeds to influence people to do what they should but what they primarily need the most is to recognize their need for a Saviour and to follow His teachings to have an abundant life. This Gospel sharing is currently something I need prayer and encouragement about. Regarding how believers treat each other it is important we treat one another in ways that are spiritual and not fleshly.

Jesus gives us some examples like 'turning the other cheek' when we are persecuted in some ways. To return insults without retort.

As an example, in influencing other believers to do what they should, considering 'turning the other cheek', our replies to one another on these forums when we have different views, can either promote strife or build fellowship with one another. Some people on these forums, in my observations, are really good at not getting sucked into warrings and have learned that “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Proverbs 15:1, which I understand to mean that if we speak kindly and softly, angry people will feel calmer. If you speak rudely or shout at them, they will just get angrier. Col 4:6 - 'Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.'

So, imo, we need to keep pursuing to treat one another graciously, within the Church, in these Christian forums, and help one another to be a light to those looking on to see Jesus at work in us. To have a special love for one another that the unsaved world does not have.

[NedFlanders]

A close friend shared with me how a Christian warehouse owner found a truck being loaded up in the night at his warehouse. He calmly walked up to the thieves and helped them load the truck. After a while one of the thieves said, “Wait, who are you?”
The Christian said, “I’m the owner,”
At least one of those thieves submitted his life to Christ that night.