Does such a community exist?

[ITJesus]

I so very much love Mennonites. Sorry, had to be said. It just seems like everything I see of what this movement is about (on the conservative side of the spectrum I should say) has been the longing of my heart for how I live a life of faith since near the very onset of my walk with Christ. Though I hadn't discovered this group (at least not to any depth beyond the common public perception) until much later in life...when I did, it felt clear to me THIS is the fellowship of believers I've been looking for so long now.

And yes, yes, I know Mennonites are just people too and have their share of internal problems and doctrinal issues or historical issues with so called "legalism" here and there and so forth and so on. Yes, I hear you. But, I've found no other group following Christ that I have a place of agreement and belonging so deep in my heart for. Well, there have been a few rare Independent Baptist churches (who basically lived much the same as Mennonites do, in modesty of dress and healthy femininity/masculinity in family roles and seeking such holiness in their daily walk and the like)...but I just prefer to think of Mennonites as traditional Christians (at heart) who still maintain their modern age relevance toward impacting those lost in the world (calling them to a life of genuine love based holiness, inwardly and outwardly, unto the Lord).

But, alas, these last few weeks I've read deeper into common "conservative" Mennonite views and found...well, maybe they actually wouldn't want to be my people. I have to say, this was a bit of a dis-heartening revelation for me. The thing is I'm a two-time divorcee, with two re-marriages on top. Granted both previous marriages were ended due to circumstances that certainly DO fit into what many conservative Mennonites rather un-affectionately refer to as the Matt 19:9 "exception clause" (as I've unfortunately historically been that guy who makes the mistake of trying to rescue damsels in distress and having that heart to bring every broken wing birdie home with me so I can fix them and make them whole...only to have them later turn out to be rather viscous birds of prey that seek to devour my very substance!...I digress), but I've found that many conservative Mennonites don't even except THAT as grounds allowable for divorce (much less remarriage).

And, even worse, it seems when I do find Mennonites that are open to such grounds for divorce and remarriage...they've also gone to the extreme of LBGQlmnop and perhaps resemble more an aboriginal culture in modesty of dress than say a classical Christian one. My only hope, at this point, is there has GOT to be a group of Mennonites (or at least Christians who hold similar hearts/lifestyles as they do), who make what I would consider loving/Scripturally sound exceptions to such divorce/remarriage scenarios AND yet have not also dove off the deep end of our currently trending social norms (in areas like "sexuality" or feminine modesty for example).

Getting to the point of this post...

If any of you know of such a group or church or (even better) an established intentional community of such believers, I would be ever so grateful if you could let me know. I'm in the market to transition my family into a community of those whose aim is to follow Christ (preferably set apart outside of city life and more like an intentional neighbors type community, in the mountains or other such ideal location). I plan to make this move very soon, and already have some not as ideal communities in mind, but I'm looking if it may be possible to find a Mennonite (or similar) community, in which we would not be shunned or forced to break up our family in favor of past relationships gone wrong.

[mike]

The only conservative Mennonite denomination that might likely accept a divorced and remarried couple as members would be the Church of God in Christ Mennonite, also known as the Holdeman Mennonites. We have members of this denomination here on MN, and I am sure they will inform you of their position on this issue.

[Josh]

The only conservative Mennonite denomination that might likely accept a divorced and remarried couple as members would be the Church of God in Christ Mennonite, also known as the Holdeman Mennonites. We have members of this denomination here on MN, and I am sure they will inform you of their position on this issue.

The Apostolic Christian Church, Apostolic Christian Church - Nazarean, etc. would as well.

The Reformed Mennonite church also would, but they are a very small tiny group.

Anabaptist Christian Fellowship in Linden, TN is extremely plain and conservative but do accept D&R people sometimes. In fact, a D&R couple that joined the Holdemans left the Holdemans and went to them.

[steve-in-kville]

I so very much love Mennonites. Sorry, had to be said. It just seems like everything I see of what this movement is about (on the conservative side of the spectrum I should say) has been the longing of my heart for how I live a life of faith since near the very onset of my walk with Christ. Though I hadn't discovered this group (at least not to any depth beyond the common public perception) until much later in life...when I did, it felt clear to me THIS is the fellowship of believers I've been looking for so long now.

Many, many years ago I was in your shoes. If I could give my younger self some advice it would be this: park yourself in a dark corner and evaluate why you want to go this direction. Are your intentions right? Are you going into this with your eyes wide open? Or is love blind?

I know I will get pushback by some here on MN (or I may not as the top dozen threads right now involve politics... no one may notice ) but slow down a bit and make sure you have the right intentions.

Sorry to be a buzz kill.

[Soloist]

Being a conservative seeker and having attended a conservative Mennonite church for several years I had a few questions for you.
First of all, I will agree that divorce and remarriage is not tolerated outside of the Holdeman Mennonites or fringe groups and if you attempted to join our church you would be required to separate and we would believe its a matter of salvation to be living in a state of a second marriage while the first lives. This isn't to say myself personally haven't accepted the possibility of an exception but outside of one case of lying and separating when they found out I would struggle to see it as acceptable.

I so very much love Mennonites. Sorry, had to be said. It just seems like everything I see of what this movement is about (on the conservative side of the spectrum I should say) has been the longing of my heart for how I live a life of faith since near the very onset of my walk with Christ. Though I hadn't discovered this group (at least not to any depth beyond the common public perception) until much later in life...when I did, it felt clear to me THIS is the fellowship of believers I've been looking for so long now.

There is tangible costs 1, to follow Jesus and 2 to join any culturally different group.

And yes, yes, I know Mennonites are just people too and have their share of internal problems and doctrinal issues or historical issues with so called "legalism" here and there and so forth and so on. Yes, I hear you. But, I've found no other group following Christ that I have a place of agreement and belonging so deep in my heart for. Well, there have been a few rare Independent Baptist churches (who basically lived much the same as Mennonites do, in modesty of dress and healthy femininity/masculinity in family roles and seeking such holiness in their daily walk and the like)...but I just prefer to think of Mennonites as traditional Christians (at heart) who still maintain their modern age relevance toward impacting those lost in the world (calling them to a life of genuine love based holiness, inwardly and outwardly, unto the Lord).

How can they do that without taking a stand on sin? You are looking for a group that tolerates your views but takes a stand on your views.

And, even worse, it seems when I do find Mennonites that are open to such grounds for divorce and remarriage...they've also gone to the extreme of LBGQlmnop and perhaps resemble more an aboriginal culture in modesty of dress than say a classical Christian one. My only hope, at this point, is there has GOT to be a group of Mennonites (or at least Christians who hold similar hearts/lifestyles as they do), who make what I would consider loving/Scripturally sound exceptions to such divorce/remarriage scenarios AND yet have not also dove off the deep end of our currently trending social norms (in areas like "sexuality" or feminine modesty for example).

How is divorce and remarriage any different then any of the LGBTQ stuff? I mean Jesus was pretty explicit on the D/R while never was LGBTQ stuff directly mentioned outside of some references by Paul. Now I see these things as wrong but why is it any different to you?

If any of you know of such a group or church or (even better) an established intentional community of such believers, I would be ever so grateful if you could let me know. I'm in the market to transition my family into a community of those whose aim is to follow Christ (preferably set apart outside of city life and more like an intentional neighbors type community, in the mountains or other such ideal location). I plan to make this move very soon, and already have some not as ideal communities in mind, but I'm looking if it may be possible to find a Mennonite (or similar) community, in which we would not be shunned or forced to break up our family in favor of past relationships gone wrong.

You certainly would be welcome to attend many of these churches and not shunned but the cost of membership, communion, viewing you as a brother in Christ would be to leave your marriage and live according to the teachings of Jesus.

[GaryK]

I so very much love Mennonites. Sorry, had to be said. It just seems like everything I see of what this movement is about (on the conservative side of the spectrum I should say) has been the longing of my heart for how I live a life of faith since near the very onset of my walk with Christ. Though I hadn't discovered this group (at least not to any depth beyond the common public perception) until much later in life...when I did, it felt clear to me THIS is the fellowship of believers I've been looking for so long now.

And yes, yes, I know Mennonites are just people too and have their share of internal problems and doctrinal issues or historical issues with so called "legalism" here and there and so forth and so on. Yes, I hear you. But, I've found no other group following Christ that I have a place of agreement and belonging so deep in my heart for. Well, there have been a few rare Independent Baptist churches (who basically lived much the same as Mennonites do, in modesty of dress and healthy femininity/masculinity in family roles and seeking such holiness in their daily walk and the like)...but I just prefer to think of Mennonites as traditional Christians (at heart) who still maintain their modern age relevance toward impacting those lost in the world (calling them to a life of genuine love based holiness, inwardly and outwardly, unto the Lord).

But, alas, these last few weeks I've read deeper into common "conservative" Mennonite views and found...well, maybe they actually wouldn't want to be my people. I have to say, this was a bit of a dis-heartening revelation for me. The thing is I'm a two-time divorcee, with two re-marriages on top. Granted both previous marriages were ended due to circumstances that certainly DO fit into what many conservative Mennonites rather un-affectionately refer to as the Matt 19:9 "exception clause" (as I've unfortunately historically been that guy who makes the mistake of trying to rescue damsels in distress and having that heart to bring every broken wing birdie home with me so I can fix them and make them whole...only to have them later turn out to be rather viscous birds of prey that seek to devour my very substance!...I digress), but I've found that many conservative Mennonites don't even except THAT as grounds allowable for divorce (much less remarriage).

And, even worse, it seems when I do find Mennonites that are open to such grounds for divorce and remarriage...they've also gone to the extreme of LBGQlmnop and perhaps resemble more an aboriginal culture in modesty of dress than say a classical Christian one. My only hope, at this point, is there has GOT to be a group of Mennonites (or at least Christians who hold similar hearts/lifestyles as they do), who make what I would consider loving/Scripturally sound exceptions to such divorce/remarriage scenarios AND yet have not also dove off the deep end of our currently trending social norms (in areas like "sexuality" or feminine modesty for example).

Getting to the point of this post...

If any of you know of such a group or church or (even better) an established intentional community of such believers, I would be ever so grateful if you could let me know. I'm in the market to transition my family into a community of those whose aim is to follow Christ (preferably set apart outside of city life and more like an intentional neighbors type community, in the mountains or other such ideal location). I plan to make this move very soon, and already have some not as ideal communities in mind, but I'm looking if it may be possible to find a Mennonite (or similar) community, in which we would not be shunned or forced to break up our family in favor of past relationships gone wrong.

Are you currently married?

[Ken]

I don't think you are going to find what you are looking for.

Mennonites are an old faith and the more conservative branches are very set in their ways. It isn't an a la carte faith where you can pick and choose the elements that you want.

From your description it appears that you are currently married and have a family. How do you propose to support them if you move off to some rural area in search of some rural group of Mennonites? What do you plan to do for a living? If you happen to find some small colony of rural Mennonites living some place like rural Nebraska they most likely got there through decades of hard work and generational saving to buy and establish farms and other businesses. They didn't just show up out of the blue to carve a living out of the land or some such. Do you have the hundreds of thousands of dollars it will take to get financially established in some new rural community? To buy a farm or start a business? And do you have the skills to do that?

The young son of one of my cousins basically did just that. But he relied on generational wealth passed on down from my grandfather to my uncle to my cousin supplemented by generations of hard work and frugal savings. And to establish their new farm, he and his father (my cousin) and his grandfather (my uncle) combed farm auctions across the upper Midwest to find the necessary equipment and livestock at affordable prices and brought generations worth of experience into the project. And even with all of that it is a tremendous amount of work and requires a good bit of luck. Do you have all of that?

[Josh]

I don't think you are going to find what you are looking for.

Mennonites are an old faith and the more conservative branches are very set in their ways. It isn't an a la carte faith where you can pick and choose the elements that you want.

From your description it appears that you are currently married and have a family. How do you propose to support them if you move off to some rural area in search of some rural group of Mennonites? What do you plan to do for a living? If you happen to find some small colony of rural Mennonites living some place like rural Nebraska they most likely got there through decades of hard work and generational saving to buy and establish farms and other businesses. They didn't just show up out of the blue to carve a living out of the land or some such. Do you have the hundreds of thousands of dollars it will take to get financially established in some new rural community? To buy a farm or start a business? And do you have the skills to do that?

The young son of one of my cousins basically did just that. But he relied on generational wealth passed on down from my grandfather to my uncle to my cousin supplemented by generations of hard work and frugal savings. And to establish their new farm, he and his father (my cousin) and his grandfather (my uncle) combed farm auctions across the upper Midwest to find the necessary equipment and livestock at affordable prices and brought generations worth of experience into the project. And even with all of that it is a tremendous amount of work and requires a good bit of luck. Do you have all of that?

I encourage most seekers to attend an urban or suburban conservative Anabaptist congregation where they already live. (Nearly every metro area in America has one within an hour’s drive, often less.)

[Robert]

I sent you a private message. You should see the notification in the upper right toolbar.

[ITJesus]

Thank you everyone for your responses so far. Full transparency...I'm in the middle of selling my home (12-15 hour work days lately) and so life is incredibly busy for me right now. I'm certainly interested in getting to the bottom of this topic and exploring the possibilities here. I may not be as active as I would like, in the next few weeks, but plan to address each person's response.

Please feel free to continue posting here if you have anything further to share. I'll catch up to you, in the end.