Betty:
.. Yet there are also blue skies, happy grandchildren, the odd and bittersweet freedom of making all of my own decisions, Christmas traditions, and glimpses of joy and laughter. In short, there is still life. ..
“the deafening silence after” is the hardest part.
in my experience, babies+children are the biggest help, without even knowing. they live in the moment, forcing everyone around them to do the same! “the best medicine.” so thankful you have that! let it be! let them keep you engaged and relevant.
by their very existence, they will, if you let them. they are 100% self-centered, and that is a good thing. immediacy.
a lot of life circles around the desire to simply remain relevant. i told my daughter, i do not want to be just a picture hanging on a wall, a distant memory (for my granddaughter). even with agonizing distance, i feel relevant to her. i make every effort to know her world, know who she’s talking about, what she’s working on. her happy times and sad times, too.
my extended visits have made that possible. i have to make those visits last all year.
after my grandfather died, when i was about 10, my large extended family started moving away. we would gather for annual family reunions, but, i noticed, with the distance, relationships weren’t as close. my now adult children do not know their cousins. i decided long ago, if my family moved away, i would fly or do what was required to maintain relationships. relationships take real time.
for children, they are fairly simple. either you’re there, or you’re not. their lives go on.
i want to be there for as long as God allows. i take nothing for granted. none of us chooses who will be next, or when. life doesn’t always follow the “order” we would prefer.
i don’t watch TV anymore. one early thing i noticed was - not having to share the remote.
some things are almost comical. it’s strange the minute changes and things you notice. every little thing.
an altogether different life.
