MennoNet.com

Little neighbor informed me that their cat just gobbles up her food and is getting so-o-o-o fat. I imagine she will be surprised when that fat cat has little kitties.

I was in the shed yesterday and heard some little kitties... as if we need more cats...

Email from my sister-in-law on the phone with her 3-year-old granddaughter, questions about vocations. Her daddy and grandad are landscapers.

What is your Dad’s Job?
He tells people about Jesus.

What is your Mom’s Job?
She keeps us from being naughty.

What is Grammy’s Job? (my Mom)
She reads to us. And she always gives us a bath!

What is Aunt W’s job?
Making supper

What is Uncle R’s Job?
He doesn’t have a job. I think.
[He's a quadriplegic.]

What is Grampa N’s Job?
He collects wood.

What is Grandmummy’s Job?
She makes us lunch.

Well. Here is something we would not wish for any child to experience.

'Glue me back together': Online pleas to aid Waukesha parade victims
https://madison.com/wsj/news/local/glue ... 9687d.html

.. Jessalyn is "fighting for her life," according to the fundraising account established by family friend Oscar Luna.
She lost a kidney, broke her pelvis and has damage to her liver and lungs, Luna said.

"This holiday season will be a brutal one for them," he said of their family.

In an update posted Tuesday morning, Luna wrote that she had woken up briefly Monday.

"She is not fully aware of the severity of her injuries but managed to say, 'just glue me back together,'" he wrote.
"Only a child could reference themselves as a little doll in this situation."

Praying for all the victims and their loved ones in Waukesha, with Thanksgiving Day just ahead.

Me, talking to my wife: "............and now we have all these fruit cakes with all their thoughts and opinions."
5 year old daughter: "I'M NOT A FRUIT CAKE!!"
Me: "A chocolate cake?"
girl: "I'M NOT A CHOCOLATE CAKE!!"
Me: "A tres leche cake?"
girl: "I'M NOT A TRES LECHE CAKE!!"
Me: "What are you then?"
girl: "I'M AN ICE CREAM SANDWICH!!"

Driving pickup down the gravel drive way, Dirk, 7 year old sitting in the front, watching losts of dust blowing all around from worked farm fields.
Dirk says quietly, to himself: I like when the wind blows the dust. It reminds me of God.
I think thats odd, so I ask why.
Dirk: "It makes me think of God, just scooping down." As if that should make sense to me. I ask why.
Dirk: "It makes me think of God making people."
Me thinking: Oh thats good. Hes thinking of creation. Nice to see that creation story detail stuck.
Dirk, unprompted, watching the dust blow over the area: "There must be a lot of people getting pregnant right now."
Me: "..........what?"
Dirk: "Ya! You know! God makes people out of dust!"

Last summer camping:
Dirk, about camp coffee: "It's kinna good, and mostly yuck."

Ezra, 9, mumbles: "Tangle, tangle, tangle. I hate that word!"
After untangling his line: "I'm not sure if I can cast real good. Maybe I should try to cast more calmly instead of wildly." Next cast: "It works way better if I cast calmly!"

Ezra: "I'm going wading just for fun. Aahh... It wasn't so fun! Sure was cold!"
Richard: "I gotta pee."
Ezra: "You could get in and then pee. That's what I did. Works pretty good."


Isabel: "When I get big, I'm gonna be a dancer, or a police girl, or a 49er, or a plain old girl, or a horse."


Me: "Eight years ago me and mom went to the hospital. We didn't know what we were gonna have. We didn't know if we were going to have a little girl or -
Ezra: "Instead you got a potty mouthed boy!"


Me: "Are you retarded?"
Dirk: "No"
Me: "How would you know?"
Dirk: "Because if I were retarded, I'd be a retarded chicken."


Isabel: "I saw a bear hole. It could just fit a baby bear."
Me: "It couldn't fit it's family? Where would it's family be?"
Isabel: "I don't know......Maybe it's a MIDGET bear. You know what midget means? It means it doesn't have a family."


Isabel: "I want to sit on your lap."
Me: "Why?"
Isabel: "Cause you have a fat nose. I knew you were gonna have a fat nose when I was born. I knew it!

Dirk: "I think Gunner lets the dumb side of his brain control the smart side of his brain." (Gunner is our dog)

Ezra: "Me and Matt were losing at middle recess. Then we clicked on our brains, and we won."

Dirk: "I hear Gunner barking. If it's a kidnapper, I'm gonna tell em that I have Coronavirus."


Ezra: "She was running! I saw her with my own trustful eyes!
Dirk: "Ya! I saw her with my own meatball eyes!"


Ezra praying: "..thank you for the food and pray that we have a good day and that me and Dirk don't make our bedroom like a pig pen and..."

Leaving Grandpas house, can't find Isabels shoe. Isabel, grin-raised eybrows: "I don't know why I'm such a loser. Ha, ha, ha!"

Isabel: "Mom, I guess you're not the best mom anymore.
Mom: "Why not?"
Isabel: "Because sometimes I get bored."

Gideon, crying. Mom: "Oh honey."
Isabel: "No, he's the sweet heart. I'm the honey!"

Isabel, laying in bed: "If I see a big shape coming will it be you or dad?"
Mom: "Yes."
Isabel: "If I see a big shape coming, I won't think it is you or dad. I'll think it's a robber."

Isabel: " The sauce is the boss. Then God, then Jesus. Then dad." (Sweet Baby Rays BBQ Sauce)

Dirk: "I don't want to be buried here."
Me: "If you're dead, you won't even know where you are buried."
Dirk: "Huh......But you could tell me up in heaven."

Richard: "I think people invented language just because they needed to argue."

At the reservior:
Isabel: "There is NO fish in the water."
Ezra: "Then WHERE are they?"
Isabel: "Seattle."

RZehr wrote: ↑Wed Jan 26, 2022 2:41 pm At the reservior:
Isabel: "There is NO fish in the water."
Ezra: "Then WHERE are they?"
Isabel: "Seattle."

Maybe she's thinking of the "catch" of the day at Pike Place fish market, where "hand tossed" does not refer to pizza.

Richard: "I think people invented language just because they needed to argue."

Forum motto!

April Fools Day 2022

This morning, i texted my closest family, WA, MI, KY, “i’m sending you brownies today.”
After their replies, like, “What’s the occasion?!” i texted this graphic:



Lame, i know. But most fell for it.

[The pranks on Page 3 are better. i’m too far away this year.]