A year of living.

[gcdonner]

I'm afraid he is in his right mind! He's too feeble to drag a nurse anywhere, but no too "born again" to offer a nurse money for sex. Honestly, neither chemotherapy not 4 antibiotics have brought on nausea to me more than his behavior. It so dishonors Christ. I don't think the nurses associate that sort of "Christianity" with me, but it does make things difficult.

It is the once saved always saved theology that informs some Baptists (many down south here) that once you are born again you can't lose your salvation no matter What you do and insist on proving it by doing whatever they choose.
I know a man down here whose wife is in a nursing home and he is living with another woman...He is a good Baptist.
Well, Wayne, I know that you are a red letter kind of guy, so I am sure you are aware that Jesus said, "Ye must be born again." (Don't forget the KJV only requirements too)

Jesus said “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”
Many, many people believe that having said a prayer or having some sort of emotional experience means they are "born again". I experienced that, I believed that at one time. I was saved from that. Yet they do not see the Kingdom of Heaven - they are not even interested in it. They seek eternal life but as Jesus said also: “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God." People do not want to enter the kingdom of God, they want to "go to heaven" when the finish this life of sinning and selfish pursuit of comfort and carnality. They are not born again.

As for me, I'm living in that Kingdom now, I see it and experience its joys and wonders (sometimes with tears streaming down my face) and the presence of its King daily, everywhere I go. The Kingdom of God is truly among us.

We agree Wayne. Seeing is one thing, entering something entirely different. Many today teach that the kingdom is yet to come and even equate it with heaven or a millennial kingdom here on earth with Jesus reigning in Jerusalem.

[Wayne in Maine]

It is the once saved always saved theology that informs some Baptists (many down south here) that once you are born again you can't lose your salvation no matter What you do and insist on proving it by doing whatever they choose.
I know a man down here whose wife is in a nursing home and he is living with another woman...He is a good Baptist.
Well, Wayne, I know that you are a red letter kind of guy, so I am sure you are aware that Jesus said, "Ye must be born again." (Don't forget the KJV only requirements too)

Jesus said “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”
Many, many people believe that having said a prayer or having some sort of emotional experience means they are "born again". I experienced that, I believed that at one time. I was saved from that. Yet they do not see the Kingdom of Heaven - they are not even interested in it. They seek eternal life but as Jesus said also: “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God." People do not want to enter the kingdom of God, they want to "go to heaven" when the finish this life of sinning and selfish pursuit of comfort and carnality. They are not born again.

As for me, I'm living in that Kingdom now, I see it and experience its joys and wonders (sometimes with tears streaming down my face) and the presence of its King daily, everywhere I go. The Kingdom of God is truly among us.

We agree Wayne. Seeing is one thing, entering something entirely different. Many today teach that the kingdom is yet to come and even equate it with heaven or a millennial kingdom here on earth with Jesus reigning in Jerusalem.

Jesus set the same condition for seeing as for entering. If you don't see the kingdom you are only fooling yourself about entering. This is the greatest tragedy of the synthetic "salvation Gospel" - it provides an easily obtained false assurance of something Jesus says is impossible.

[Joy]

Our pastor preached yesterday that you can't call yourself saved and then live like you want to. Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 1Cor. 6:9

[Joy]

Oops, should have finished the sentence, the next verse:
Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

[Sudsy]

Our pastor preached yesterday that you can't call yourself saved and then live like you want to. Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 1Cor. 6:9

I understand what you are saying. I could also say that if you are saved you will live like you want to as God is at work in you changing your wants.

[Joy]

But you know what I'm saying, because our hearts are deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked!

[Wayne in Maine]

The most difficult part of hospital life is sleeping. Hospitals are not quiet places, nor are they dark. People are busy around you and no matter how hard they try few are stealthy enough to change an IV bag silently. Then there are patients who are moaning or listening loudly to late-night television. And the nurses who insist on turning on the overhead lights to check their monitors.

Hospital beds are uncomfortable. The mattresses and pillows are covered in plastic and they make me sweat, we solved the pillow problem by wrapping it in several layers of a small smooth blanket.
It has taken a few days to figure out a good wiring and plumbing scheme for my bed but I think we have it worked out, These include 2X oxygen: CPAP /canula to wall, Intravenous:1-2 my port-to-post, 6 data lines -me to transmitter, bile drain hose: my Liver to leg bag, CPAP: chair to me.
All wiring and plumbing is neatly layed out on my right side, Anything that has to travel with me is on top, at the moment the IV line to the pole. Disconnectable (removable for transport) are underneath – the cables for my monitor feed into my monitor transmitter I keep in my pocket, Handy!
Oxygen and CPAP tube are draped over the top of the bed. Bile drain tube and bag are tucked into my underwear – “Mexican Carry” for you gun freaks.

Now to get up to the bathroom I can unplug the data lines (not always necessary, I can carry the transmitter in my pocket) and maneuver the IV post with its 1-2 lines. Easy Peasy! It wasn’t always this neat. It’s the engineer in me…

Sleeping with all this gear means minimal choices for position or for moving around. Pain and weakness do not help one find a comfortable position. The net result of this is hours of broken sleep. But with cat naps during the day it’s enough.

Yesterday I sent a note to Chester Weaver. He does a very fine presentation on Gelassenheit. Gelassenheit is how I explain to the spiritually interested why I am so cheery for man dying of cancer. I though Chester would be interested in my take, especially how I tie this to the experience of living in the Kingdom of God here and now.

Chester called. He was quite excited by what I relayed to him “That’s it!” he would proclaim. We talked for over half hour before his exclamation "You knew Myron Dietz?" signaled that we would chat for another hour if we didn't simply plan to get together sometime. I will write something up for Anabaptist Perspectives. I;m doing a couple interviews with them this fall. I’m looking forward to his joining into a discussion of Gelassenheit in my home in Pennsylvania with brothers and sisters who “get it”. That is part of my plan when I’m living there and too incapacitated to travel much – gather friends and scholars for conversation and fellowship. Singing Creek community is just up the road for bigger gatherings.

I had a visitor and spent quite a lot of time cheering Franzi up, who is hospitalized with hyperemesis. We chat and pray. I suggest ways to keep her mind on good things – things that work for me. I sent her a dozen roses. She’s managing better now than a few day, for which I than God.
The Baptist minister will be sent home today. I spoke to him about his flirting, he chuckled it off.
I still have no idea when I’ll get home. I’ve ordered PT and OT to get back on my feet and able to walk and take care of myself. That’s my goal. I think I’ll arrange to go outside today. I might even see if some friends can meet us in the healing garden as I am only allowed one guest and that’s not sociable enough.

Feel free to PM me for my phone number. I am lonely, my wife is lonely. People whom we wish would stay in touch do not, which is sad for us – “visit the sick”: you can do it via telephone in this wonderful modern age.

[Joy]

Ever since the one time I spent the night in a hospital, I've had sympathy for overnight hospital patients. My cousin was dying, and they still came in to do tests on him frequently--until a doctor put a stop to it, as he had only hours left.

And hall phones ringing? In the middle of the night? And workers talking in normal tones, which they probably wouldn't do at home. I wondered how anybody slept.

But the spirit can rest in our Savior!

[Wayne in Maine]

Ever since the one time I spent the night in a hospital, I've had sympathy for overnight hospital patients. My cousin was dying, and they still came in to do tests on him frequently--until a doctor put a stop to it, as he had only hours left.

And hall phones ringing? In the middle of the night? And workers talking in normal tones, which they probably wouldn't do at home. I wondered how anybody slept.

The after-hours interaction with the medical staff varies quite a lot. I will speak to the nurse who turns on all the lights and show her where the button is on the bed to turn on the single light over a patient's bed. My wife suggested a head lamp if a nurse has to check equipment (like my IV pump for bubbles or ?) I expect the nurse will thank me for the advice. Quite frankly I have taught some nurses here some new trick (like a secure taping method for tubes) - it;s the engineer in me!

But no matter what, alarms beep, nurses and CNA' s talk, hard of hearing patients watch TV at 2:00 AM and IV pumps go Woooom-paaaaaa.The Nurses also offer sleep meds if I want them (I prefer a glass of red wine) which I will take if I'm awake at 2:00 AM (I get 4 hours of solid sleep with Ambien) .

Last night I listened to some African Hymns and prayed to help me sleep through some pain. I enjoyed that calm in a noisy Hospital storm.

[Josh]

Ever since the one time I spent the night in a hospital, I've had sympathy for overnight hospital patients. My cousin was dying, and they still came in to do tests on him frequently--until a doctor put a stop to it, as he had only hours left.

And hall phones ringing? In the middle of the night? And workers talking in normal tones, which they probably wouldn't do at home. I wondered how anybody slept.

The after-hours interaction with the medical staff varies quite a lot. I will speak to the nurse who turns on all the lights and show her where the button is on the bed to turn on the single light over a patient's bed. My wife suggested a head lamp if a nurse has to check equipment (like my IV pump for bubbles or ?) I expect the nurse will thank me for the advice. Quite frankly I have taught some nurses here some new trick (like a secure taping method for tubes) - it;s the engineer in me!

But no matter what, alarms beep, nurses and CNA' s talk, hard of hearing patients watch TV at 2:00 AM and IV pumps go Woooom-paaaaaa.The Nurses also offer sleep meds if I want them (I prefer a glass of red wine) which I will take if I'm awake at 2:00 AM (I get 4 hours of solid sleep with Ambien) .

Last night I listened to some African Hymns and prayed to help me sleep through some pain. I enjoyed that calm in a noisy Hospital storm.

My experience in hospitals was the same - harsh, bright lights, constant beeping, and ice cold temperatures (someone told me the latter is because it keeps infections down). As a young person, this wasn't terribly bothersome, but I didn't like think about older folks being stuck spending weeks in such a harsh environment.

Closed-captions for TV seem like a good idea, especially when half the patients a hard of hearing anyway.