Are we living up to the Titus 2 model?

[HappyHomemaker]

" That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, and charity, and patience.The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blaspremed.Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. " -Titus 2:2-6

As a person who grew up outside of the Anabaptist culture and came into it as a young adult, I am always learning new things. Along with that, I am always discovering I have more questions. I grew up in a non-denominational church with some Baptist roots. We grew up being taught the importance of having an older woman (in my case, but the same was emphasized about men) in your life to have an intentional mentorship relationship with. A woman who would invest in training and encouraging you as you journey through Christian life. Likewise, it was stressed how important it was to invest in the younger women and girls in your life. When I came into the Mennonite church, I was somewhat shocked to see this wasn't a regular practice. Even though I truly loved and valued my intentional mentor relationships with older women, I let the issue go because there were so many other things I was learning and being challenged in. As I've grown older and been in the Anabaptist church for many years now, the confusion and disappointment has resurfaced. It seems like those types of relationships are only formed when a youth is being rebellious or discouraged. Maybe I'm wrong, I certainly don't have experience with a large number of Anabaptist churches. But I have to think that a lot of these young peoples (and struggling older people too) troubles could be headed off if they had had a Titus 2 relationship with someone who was intentionally invested in their spiritual well being from the beginning of their Christian walk, aka...a mentor. So, all that to say, I'm curious what people in this forum think of mentor relationships. Am I totally out in left field here? Are we doing our young people a disservice by not investing in their spiritual well-being sooner? Are we, as older people, not living up to our responsibilities put forth to us in Titus 2? Why isn't this type of relationship emphasized more in the Anabaptist circles? Maybe it's considered a family matter? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

[silentreader]

" That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, and charity, and patience.The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blaspremed.Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. " -Titus 2:2-6

As a person who grew up outside of the Anabaptist culture and came into it as a young adult, I am always learning new things. Along with that, I am always discovering I have more questions. I grew up in a non-denominational church with some Baptist roots. We grew up being taught the importance of having an older woman (in my case, but the same was emphasized about men) in your life to have an intentional mentorship relationship with. A woman who would invest in training and encouraging you as you journey through Christian life. Likewise, it was stressed how important it was to invest in the younger women and girls in your life. When I came into the Mennonite church, I was somewhat shocked to see this wasn't a regular practice. Even though I truly loved and valued my intentional mentor relationships with older women, I let the issue go because there were so many other things I was learning and being challenged in. As I've grown older and been in the Anabaptist church for many years now, the confusion and disappointment has resurfaced. It seems like those types of relationships are only formed when a youth is being rebellious or discouraged. Maybe I'm wrong, I certainly don't have experience with a large number of Anabaptist churches. But I have to think that a lot of these young peoples (and struggling older people too) troubles could be headed off if they had had a Titus 2 relationship with someone who was intentionally invested in their spiritual well being from the beginning of their Christian walk, aka...a mentor. So, all that to say, I'm curious what people in this forum think of mentor relationships. Am I totally out in left field here? Are we doing our young people a disservice by not investing in their spiritual well-being sooner? Are we, as older people, not living up to our responsibilities put forth to us in Titus 2? Why isn't this type of relationship emphasized more in the Anabaptist circles? Maybe it's considered a family matter? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Perhaps in many ways we consider ourselves to be self-sufficient, and expect it of others as well?

[Hats Off]

I have done a bit of this with several young brothers who did not have the best relationship with their father. It is not something that is encouraged but it can certainly have its rewards. Being told "you have been like a father to me" more than makes up for any inconveniences or for the time I have felt the father's censure.

[RZehr]

HH, I think your observations are correct. It is my opinion and belief that the plain churches I'm familiar with have failed in the area of Titus 2, especially with regard to the older women mentoring and teaching the younger women.
It seems to me that young women are primarily taught by their parents. Yet older women do teach the youth in Sunday school class, so I guess there is that.
But when there is a teaching that is unique for women, or may be contentious, it seems like we tend to default to men teaching subject which isn't what we see in Titus 2.

We have had women meetings over issues, but from the sounds of it, the meetings simply became emotion dominated. So they quit, which doesn't quite seem right. Seems like with more practice and structure or something it could have turned into something good.

[HappyHomemaker]

I have done a bit of this with several young brothers who did not have the best relationship with their father. It is not something that is encouraged but it can certainly have its rewards. Being told "you have been like a father to me" more than makes up for any inconveniences or for the time I have felt the father's censure.

That's so interesting. So when you say "It's not something that is encouraged" do you mean that it is discouraged? Or that there just isn't a lot of emphasis placed on it?

[HappyHomemaker]

HH, I think your observations are correct. It is my opinion and belief that the plain churches I'm familiar with have failed in the area of Titus 2, especially with regard to the older women mentoring and teaching the younger women.
It seems to me that young women are primarily taught by their parents. Yet older women do teach the youth in Sunday school class, so I guess there is that.
But when there is a teaching that is unique for women, or may be contentious, it seems like we tend to default to men teaching subject which isn't what we see in Titus 2.

We have had women meetings over issues, but from the sounds of it, the meetings simply became emotion dominated. So they quit, which doesn't quite seem right. Seems like with more practice and structure or something it could have turned into something good.

There is something to be said for older, wiser women teaching the younger ones about women's issues. Obviously, they would have more personal and practical experience with it. Also, there is something to be said for a one on one relationship, as opposed to a group setting like a Sunday School class. Having experienced both, I can tell you that a one on one relationship goes much deeper! I also think there is value in having a mentor outside your immediate family who can look more objectively at your life. As a mother myself, when my child is offended by someone my natural reaction, even though it may not be right, is to be offended as well. A non-biased mentor is a blessing in those situations! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. So interesting! And I'm glad to know I'm not completely off base.

[HappyHomemaker]

Perhaps in many ways we consider ourselves to be self-sufficient, and expect it of others as well?

My first 2 thoughts are "That's so sad!" and "Is that biblical?" I'd love to hear more of your thoughts!

[silentreader]

Perhaps in many ways we consider ourselves to be self-sufficient, and expect it of others as well?

My first 2 thoughts are "That's so sad!" and "Is that biblical?" I'd love to hear more of your thoughts!

Its not biblical, and perhaps I'm wrong, I'd be interested in feedback as well.

[Biblical Anabaptist]

Perhaps in many ways we consider ourselves to be self-sufficient, and expect it of others as well?

I think in some conservative Anabaptist circles there is so much emphasis on "having it all right" that folks are living behind a facade. In such settings to have a mentor /mentee is not likely to happen because it makes folks vulnerable.

Also, I have been in settings where the ministry needs to be in control of everything even to the point that parents are considered incapable of raising their own children. Needless to say that has resulted in many spiritual casualties.

There is really no system better than the Bible way of interaction between the older and younger folks in a congregation for the mutual encouragement of both.

[Bootstrap]

These kinds of mentoring relationships were a very important part of the church throughout the New Testament, starting with Jesus and the disciples. You see this in the letters to Timothy and Titus in some depth. I think it's a big part of what the church should be. If simple obedience to Scripture is important to us ... this is a good place to pay attention.

And it's rare. I am not currently in that kind of relationship. I spent decades in that kind of relationship, and I really miss it.

I'm thinking of the Rats thread. Mentoring relations or even just brotherhood / sisterhood relations are one of the best ways to grow in righteousness from the heart out. Without that, it's easy to get hung up on things visible at the surface.