Thanks for all the input to consider.
When I read how Jesus spoke to the Pharisees, although He praised them in some of their acts, He was very strong in what He said that they did wrong. It seems to me those He seemed very harsh with were those who acted quite religious but their heart attitudes were far from how God looks on the heart. Calling them “hypocrites,” “blind guides,” “blind fools,” “snakes”, “a brood of vipers”, “full of greed and self-indulgence” “like whitewashed tombs”does not seem very gentle to say the least.
I am having trouble seeing this as displaying the fruit characteristic of gentleness but I can see it as a way of showing 'tough love', so to speak. Jesus’ offensive language could be understood as a desperate, love-motivated attempt to shock the Pharisees into realizing their dire situation.
Looking back though on the initial post that lists scriptures to do with gentleness notice how many scriptures speak of gentleness in how we speak with other believers. To post a couple -
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.
But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children.
And even being gentle with anyone who asks about your belief in Christ -
But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.
To know then when it is the right time and place for rebuking or for sharing your faith with unbelievers and treating other brothers and sisters in the Lord we need the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Otherwise, the flesh can take over and the result will not be God honoring. It would seem then that our conversations here amongst believers would be more of the gentle approach rather than any quarrelsome harsh approach as others have already pointed out.
Yes ? No ? More thoughts ?
