I agree that we need good teaching and practise in these areas. I also believe there is another dimension, a most important one, that also needs good teaching and practise. This is sometimes ignored or glossed over by those who approach orthopraxy from more of a self discipline, intellectual base. This is our need to be controlled by the Holy Spirit to be capable of self-control. One characteristic of the fruit of the Spirit is self-control. That doesn't mean that self alone is able to control oneself. We have a role in this to pursue a close relationship with God through the means spelled out in scriptures but we also must allow the Spirit of God to control us, control the way we think. Romans 8:1-15 is a good text about how we are to allow the Spirit to control our minds. If we want to avoid controlling others we need The Helper who lives within us to be allowed to control our minds. Jesus said He is the vine and we are the branches. Without Him living through us in the power of the Holy Spirit we will fail.Bootstrap wrote: I think using all of these tools is important. For instance, if you only preach forgiveness but not confrontation, group intervention, discipline, limit setting, and restoration, you can empower abusive and controlling people or those who build themselves up using self-righteous condemnation of others. If the things in the list are out of balance or practiced only randomly, you will not have Christian maturity in a fellowship.
I haven't studied Cloud and Townsend teachings (but I will check some out) and I will be looking for this key dimension in what they say about the Holy Spirit. I think the church today sometimes sees the Holy Spirit's work in us to be more feelings oriented than empowerment to obey and produce fruit.