Marriage: What can we agree on?

[ohio jones]

As is usually the case, the current D&R thread has become rather contentious. In this thread, I’d like to look at things from another perspective and see if there are statements about marriage that we do agree on.

The poll options are described in more detail below. Vote for the ones you agree with. If you disagree with something, or would agree more readily if something were worded a bit differently, feel free to discuss it in this thread.

Marriage:

1. Designed by God
Gen. 2:24, Matthew 19:4-5

2. Intended for one man and one woman
Gen. 2:24, Matthew 19:4-5

3. Intended to be lifelong
1 Cor. 7:39, Romans 7:2

4. A Christian should marry only another Christian
1 Cor. 7:39, 2 Cor. 6:14

5. Unbelievers who enter into marriage are married
Marriage is not limited to believers. Luke 17:27, 1 Cor. 7:12-13

6. Represents the relationship between Christ and the church
Eph. 5:31-32

7. Divorce is not God’s intent
Moses allowed divorce for various reasons; Hillel allowed divorce “for any cause”; Jesus raised the bar. Matt. 5:32, 19:8, Mark 10:9

8. After a divorce with no biblical grounds, remarriage is adultery
Setting aside the question of whether there are biblical grounds for divorce, and if so what they are, this statement is about divorces that no justification can be given for. Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18

9. Adultery results in exclusion from the kingdom of God.
1 Cor. 6:9, Eph. 5:5

[ken_sylvania]

#9 could be read to ask whether the respondent considers adultery to be an unforgivable sin. Am I right in thinking #9 is referring to continued adultery that a person has not repented of?

[Ambassador]

If you would word the last question "unrepented of adultery" I could vote for it. Adultery is sin, but so are so many other things we do. We must repent of sin to be right with God. But there will be people in heaven who have committed adultery. This is a good thread. I appreciate the effort to agree biblically.

[joshuabgood]

8 and 9 are really only pretty much what is expressly noted in scripture. So not sure why folks aren't voting got those.

[ken_sylvania]

#6 - There are many similarities between the marriage relationship and Christ's relationship with His Church, but so is the analogy of a shepherd and his sheep.
#8 - I voted for this because although I am not convinced of the inherent suggestion that some remarriage after divorce is not adultery.
#9 - I voted for this assuming that the reference is to adultery which has not been repented of and forsaken.

[gcdonner]

Marriage: What can we agree on?
We can all agree that you should get married OJ!

[Neto]

Like others, I get somewhat hung up when I get to # 8, because while I understand Scripture to say that remarriage after a divorce where no infidelity (adultery) was involved, and that it is a sin which can be confessed, and forgiven, the question remains as to whether the repentant persons will terminate this marriage as well, or if it should be honored. (I selected YES for all 9, because if after confession of adultery in the case as described it is not a continual state of adultery following the repentance, then it remains a forgiven sin.)
The Law taught that a woman who had been divorced, remarried, divorced again, was NOT to be taken again by her first husband. The Law states that this is an abomination. While we are not under the Law, there must be an underlying principle in the Mind of God in this respect, and so I do not think that such a person should attempt to restore the first marriage. But even assuming this principle, that doesn't mean, however, that they should not terminate the second marriage, thus avoiding a continued state of adultery, IF such is the case. I do not know. The Scripture does not speak to this. (The Law also taught that a priest should not marry a widow, unless she was the widow of a priest. So building any case based on the Law is a bit uncertain. Some also understand the qualifications of Elders in the NT to mean that a remarried man, regardless of the circumstances, that is, even if his first wife died, is not eligible for that office.)
The answer to these questions would then inform # 9, although a person could say yes to # 9 regardless of how # 8 is understood, because if continuing the 2nd marriage (which was at least adultery at its inception) is a state of continual adultery, then it should be either terminated or the couple should live in celibacy. If, however, adultery can be forgiven, and the continued state of marriage is not adulterous, then they are no longer adulterers.
The argument I have sometimes heard, that only a first marriage between a man & a woman neither of which has ever been married before is a 'real marriage', and that a spouse who has married a divorced person may separate from that union and marry another person, saying that the first marriage was not a 'real marriage' - that is not founded in Scripture.

[ohio jones]

#9 could be read to ask whether the respondent considers adultery to be an unforgivable sin. Am I right in thinking #9 is referring to continued adultery that a person has not repented of?

Yes, that is the intent. It could also refer to discontinued adultery that a person has not repented of.

[Josh]

8 and 9 are really only pretty much what is expressly noted in scripture. So not sure why folks aren't voting got those.

#8 is notorious for being misinterpreted by plain Anabaptists. The Bible teaches not to divorce for wrong reasons, and that doing so is a sin. To repent one needs to reconcile.

Adultery is adultery, divorce is divorce, and it’s not helpful to try to confuse the two. And it’s also not helpful to dictate how others should vote. The whole point of oj’s post is to get us to find common ground, not criticise each other.

[RZehr]

Guess I’m a 9 point ohio jonist.