Parenting, Distractions and Scripture

[Bootstrap]

Interesting discussion.

I think it's really important to honor parenting as well as singleness. Some churches really struggle with that. Perhaps our churches are especially hard for parents without children, though they can always adopt. I think that's a problem.

I agree that the Bible tells us some very important principles for raising children - but I think they are not terribly specific, perhaps because the Bible was written for a wide variety of cultures that would come later. So we know that children should obey their parents, parents should not be abusive to their children, parents should train their children in the way that they should go, etc.. A lot of Christians teach very specific dogma about how children should be raised that goes well beyond what the Bible teaches, and they teach it as though it were the direct teaching of the Bible. When that happens, I think it's a mistake.

And many churches focus so much on marriage and family that they ignore the major emphases of the New Testament. Of course, marriage and family are very near to our heart, and are one of the most important responsibilities God gives to many of us. But sometimes churches act as though marriage and family were the core of the Gospel, that Jesus came so that we could marry and have happy families. When that happens, we lose sight of the Gospel.

[Bootstrap]

A shorter summary of the last post: let's not let parenting distract us from Scripture. But let's definitely follow what Scripture tells us about parenting - without pretending that it directly supports every parenting choice we make in our churches.

[lesterb]

The Bible doesn't spell out in every detail how we should handle ever situation that comes up. But it shows us how to be the kind of Christian who can make wise choices. We are to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. We can only do that by allowing the Holy Spirit to be our guide.

[Bootstrap]

The Bible doesn't spell out in every detail how we should handle ever situation that comes up. But it shows us how to be the kind of Christian who can make wise choices. We are to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. We can only do that by allowing the Holy Spirit to be our guide.

Exactly.

[Josh]

Ephesians 6 discusses parents and children on a level field with masters and slaves. I think that as believers, if we find that we are parents, or slaves, or masters, we have some advice in scripture of what to do.

But being a really good master or a really good parent isn't the focus of following Jesus. Paul's opinion was that single people are better at serving God than married people (presumably usually also with children).

Much of conservative Christianity seems to revolve around the family. I think that's a big mistake. Family should be incidental to our lives, just like food, shelter - all things we cannot live without, but not our focus.

[Bootstrap]

Ephesians 6 discusses parents and children on a level field with masters and slaves. I think that as believers, if we find that we are parents, or slaves, or masters, we have some advice in scripture of what to do.

But being a really good master or a really good parent isn't the focus of following Jesus. Paul's opinion was that single people are better at serving God than married people (presumably usually also with children).

Much of conservative Christianity seems to revolve around the family. I think that's a big mistake. Family should be incidental to our lives, just like food, shelter - all things we cannot live without, but not our focus.

I agreed with you until the last sentence.

If we follow Scripture, family is more than incidental.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

That doesn't let me treat my wife as incidental.

[temporal1]

Ephesians 6 discusses parents and children on a level field with masters and slaves. I think that as believers, if we find that we are parents, or slaves, or masters, we have some advice in scripture of what to do.

But being a really good master or a really good parent isn't the focus of following Jesus. Paul's opinion was that single people are better at serving God than married people (presumably usually also with children).

Much of conservative Christianity seems to revolve around the family. I think that's a big mistake. Family should be incidental to our lives, just like food, shelter - all things we cannot live without, but not our focus.

i understand Paul's words to mean, "can be better." it's not guaranteed.
i believe you and various other MN members are making that personal commitment, and this
"can be" a tremendous witness.

it's something i already discuss with my granddaughter, on a child's level.
i point out to her that some adults choose to dedicate their lives to God, they are valuable, and this might be her life choice .. when the time comes.

daily messages and interactions in the home, at every age, contribute to the foundation of every child, in preparation for them to face the world.

they deserve Truth, in their innocence, Jesus wants them.
Jesus urges adults to emulate children in innocent faith.

[Josh]

Paul says "best":

“To the unmarried and widows I say that it is best for them to remain as I am.

Because of the impending crisis I think it best for you to remain as you are.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:8, 26‬ ‭NET‬‬

I think "best" means "best". Paul makes it clear one who marries hasn't sinned, and does well, but one who can stay unmarried does even better. He also says many people won't be able to do this because they burn with passion, and thus they should get married.

[Josh]

Boot, I don't think your wife is incidental. Marriage is something someone chooses to do.

But family, involving children, is definitely incidental. Some families don't involved a marriage, and many marriages don't or can't have children.

[Wade]

That Mennonite minister I mentioned had two other sons that were single. The oldest one being single and near thirty (at that time) having a love for people, and so would almost always make an effort to talk to my son.

Guess who my son would talk about most of the week?!

Singles play an important role in influencing everybody in the church - for either good or bad...


Might I also add that calling any life 'incidental' might be hugely conflicting with the One who opens and closes the womb and quite supportive of evolutionary trains of thought...