MennoNet.com

I rather hope to eventually be conformed to the image of Christ.

I believe most my fellow Mennonites want the same.

YorkandAdams wrote:But the hard part is that you are going to be reminded regularly that you aren't "one of them" simply by your lineage. My last name has the curse of being one that fits in quite well to a Mennonite directory.
Learning to play the "Mennonite Game" is something that you are going to have to do, and you are going to have to find your own unique way to play the game. I simply respond by saying "no, we're not related".

From my experience I believe they're more interested in family history rather than name and I say that for a few reasons. I've noticed a lot of times people will ask me what my last name is and they'll kinda scratch their head and look off into the sky and say something a long the lines of "hmm you're not from around here are ya?" meaning I don't have a CA name. I'll say no but I'll bring up there were Mennonites in my family line (my mothers side of the family) and sometimes they'll be more intrigued to talk to me and ask me about it. Do I wish the CA name in my family line was passed down to me? You bet. Have I thought about changing my name to feel like I fit in better? You bet. But I don't think it would be any use since my immediate family weren't CA's so I still won't truly be one of them. I have been told I fit in visually though and they wouldn't of guessed I wasn't "one of them", go figure

Because I am Dutch Mennonite, my family name doesn't fit in, either, although all of my family back as far as I can count were Mennonites. Once, when I told someone that I was 'Russia Mennonite', they said, Oh yeah, I kinda' thought so, because you wear plaid shirts. Interesting. Is that hereditary!?

Neto wrote:Once, when I told someone that I was 'Russia Mennonite', they said, Oh yeah, I kinda' thought so, because you wear plaid shirts. Interesting. Is that hereditary!?

Maybe plaid is a birthmark?
Sorry, couldn't resist that one.

Haystack wrote:

YorkandAdams wrote:But the hard part is that you are going to be reminded regularly that you aren't "one of them" simply by your lineage. My last name has the curse of being one that fits in quite well to a Mennonite directory.
Learning to play the "Mennonite Game" is something that you are going to have to do, and you are going to have to find your own unique way to play the game. I simply respond by saying "no, we're not related".

From my experience I believe they're more interested in family history rather than name and I say that for a few reasons. I've noticed a lot of times people will ask me what my last name is and they'll kinda scratch their head and look off into the sky and say something a long the lines of "hmm you're not from around here are ya?" meaning I don't have a CA name. I'll say no but I'll bring up there were Mennonites in my family line (my mothers side of the family) and sometimes they'll be more intrigued to talk to me and ask me about it. Do I wish the CA name in my family line was passed down to me? You bet. Have I thought about changing my name to feel like I fit in better? You bet. But I don't think it would be any use since my immediate family weren't CA's so I still won't truly be one of them. I have been told I fit in visually though and they wouldn't of guessed I wasn't "one of them", go figure

I think you are absolutely right. In my experience most who scratch their heads about a last name are more interested in "playing the Mennonite game" - seeing if they can make a family connection. They want to know you and where you come from. It is not some sort of litmus test, status rank, or whatever. They are interested in you and your family and background. They are treating you with the same questions they ask each other. I think this is a common human tendency.

See what Neto writes here about family name connections, completely independent of this thread: http://forum.mennonet.com/viewtopic.php ... 963#unread

In talking with a few of our members who were not born Mennonite, I believe they never feel 100% Mennonite. Which if you think about it is quite understandable. They do have experiences that we don't, good and bad. We cannot relate to those experiences. And they cannot relate to being born and raised and married in the same church.

But there is two sides to this subject. My side is that I do accept them as full members. I do not in any way feel they are "lower".
So what we have here is:
1. I am fully accepting them.
2. In spite of 1 they are not feeling the full acceptance that I have of them.

I can be aware of their feelings. I can learn to be extra sensitive to what I say and do. But a part of this feeling of not belonging is due to their life experience that I did not share. Sharing experiences and memories are part of social life and this can take time.
I think ex-Mennonites have this same experience going the other direction. This is why it is not at all uncommon for them to find each other. They don't feel part of the Mennonites, but they don't feel completely outside either.

The interesting thing is the frailness (or strength) of belonging. The children of both the ex-Mennonite and the children of the adult person joining the Mennonites will completely be what they are raised as.
My friends children are so Mennonite that my friend says he cannot relate to them at times.
My cousin who left the Mennonites has children that barely even knows what the word Mennonite means.

One generations choices is all it takes to make big differences to their posterity.

When I first came to our MB church some 15 or so years ago, I immediately got the question on how 'Sudds' was from a Mennonite background. My initial feeling was one of not belonging and for some time I felt I didn't fit in until the church started to reach out to non-Mennonite folk and drop the ethnic importance to reach the unchurched.

Now, although our church still has an abundance of ethnic Mennos, we have many who are not and used in many leading roles. Teachers, all 3 pastors, elders, deacons, ushers, greeters, etc, etc. I wouldn't be surprised if the word 'Mennonite' will basically not be heard much soon and the basic Anabaptist beliefs have not changed. It just isn't as important anymore to look back on our roots as it is to look ahead to developing a community of believers who accept all races and backgrounds and colours.

Being known as Mennonites and/or Anabaptist or Pentecostals or Baptists , etc can be an initial turnoff to the unchurched and I think this is why church names seem to be moving to just calling themselves a 'church' and keep away from these other distinctions. The statement of faith is available for those who want to know what that church teaches. Although still affiliated with the Mennonite Breathren conference, our church is named Meadow Brook Church as it is located just outside a city sub division called Meadow Brook. We finally got back to naming the church by location as the earliest churches were referred to.

Someone who comes into a Mennonite church from the outside is in a sense a cultural immigrant and will always feel a little foreign on account of it. If they stay the course their children will be fully assimilated and after a few generations of intermarriage their surname will be accounted as "Mennonite" at least as far as the local community is concerned. I can give as examples the names of Drudge and McDowell in Ontario. Or Torkelson in Alberta.

In assimilating, they will contribute their own flavour to the community and it will alter a bit. If enough outsiders join, they will alter the community's flavour even more so to the point where some of the originals begin to feel that something is being lost. And so it is, but something new is also being created and if it is true to the vision of its founders then that is a good thing, because it gives the original vision a new lease on life.

The church at its best is a melting pot.

Sudsy wrote:....
Being known as Mennonites and/or Anabaptist or Pentecostals or Baptists , etc can be an initial turnoff to the unchurched ....

I agree that it can be, but not always. In Brazil, when talking with Catholics, especially those from small interior towns, it often created an interest. And when I joined an Orthodox Jewish forum some years ago, the administrator who helped me get the account set up happened to be a Russian Jew, and we had quite a back-and-forth email conversation going during the time my account was getting straightened out, sharing family stories. So the fact that both of our peoples were refugees from the same place created a sort of connection that transcended the fact that she knew right up front that I am a Christian.

RZehr wrote:In talking with a few of our members who were not born Mennonite, I believe they never feel 100% Mennonite. Which if you think about it is quite understandable. They do have experiences that we don't, good and bad. We cannot relate to those experiences. And they cannot relate to being born and raised and married in the same church.

But there is two sides to this subject. My side is that I do accept them as full members. I do not in any way feel they are "lower".
So what we have here is:
1. I am fully accepting them.
2. In spite of 1 they are not feeling the full acceptance that I have of them.

I can be aware of their feelings. I can learn to be extra sensitive to what I say and do. But a part of this feeling of not belonging is due to their life experience that I did not share. Sharing experiences and memories are part of social life and this can take time.
I think ex-Mennonites have this same experience going the other direction. This is why it is not at all uncommon for them to find each other. They don't feel part of the Mennonites, but they don't feel completely outside either.

The interesting thing is the frailness (or strength) of belonging. The children of both the ex-Mennonite and the children of the adult person joining the Mennonites will completely be what they are raised as.
My friends children are so Mennonite that my friend says he cannot relate to them at times.
My cousin who left the Mennonites has children that barely even knows what the word Mennonite means.

One generations choices is all it takes to make big differences to their posterity.

Amen and amen. Well said and I have to say your description is universal for all churches as well as cultures. One generation is all it takes for the newcomers to be enculterated and family culture to change.