Valerie wrote: I have heard so many testimonies through the years, and read the struggles of those who wish to join- we have had them on this discussion forum- even those who threatened to take their life if they couldn't become a member, yet were still rejected to membership- (of course there were many issues in that particular situation that needed a lot of ministering, and was an exceptional case) but I appreciate, I think we all do, that those of you out there who have really tried and been met with a defeated discouragement, still persevere. Also that you feel accepted enough 'here' to be able to honestly share your story and heart- some of that sharing is important to help everyone- seekers and members.
I wonder- if your Bishop was out of 'kindness' discouraging you because if they had a 0% success rate for seekers staying, perhaps he was trying to save you the heartaches he knew would most likely come- both sides. Lester posted about how he and they (MB) form friendships that are abandoned by seekers who leave. It has to be discouraging for both sides.
Having a church that has had seekers previously can be a blessing. The ministry knows exactly what struggles I am going to face. They HAVE learned from their mistakes and want to do better. The only way they are going to improve is by trying. The flip side to this is that the church has the mindset that it will "loose" any seeker that comes in. The church has no "success stories" or "trophies" as some people call us.
The best analogy that I have is to compare it to a sports team. Imagine practicing and working out consistently for years and years never to win the championship. Sometimes you make it through the playoffs, winning small victories along the way, but you never get the "trophy". Not having someone from the "outside" is one thing that conservative Mennonite churches don’t like admitting. In fact, the feeling of being “ashamed” has come up multiple times. Sure, a church in my bracket might experience growth through the "deserters" leaving the ultra-conservative churches, but they failed at "the great commission". The growth in my church is almost exclusively from "deserters" leaving the ultra-conservatives ranks in our area. Upstream is virtually non-existent.
When a church "invests" in a seeker, it really is a collective effort. The amount of time I have spent with the church since I came in far outweighs the time I have spent with any friends and family combined. Nowhere close to everyone in the church puts forth the effort, but a large enough number have for me to feel at home. That is why I completely get where Lester is coming from with the abandoned relationships. When I came in, the ministry was upfront about seekers not staying, but they did not get into the specific details surrounding their exits. I have been able to pull out quite a bit since then and have found that some of the experiences were borderline traumatic for the church. Friendships abandoned, nasty words exchanged, and feelings left hurt.
However, one thing I would like to convey to conservative Mennonite churches is that they should encourage seekers to feel around before they commit to a church. Most of us came in with very little knowledge of different denominations, and it will take some time for us to feel our way around. The first church we regularly attend might not be the end destination. While that is hard for most churches to hear, it is the truth. I am still relatively new on this journey and am trying to experience the different groups to find exactly where God wants me to be. Attending events outside my denomination/church including singings, mission trips, and bible schools might be looked at as disloyal from my churches perspective, but at the end of the day this is my journey, not theirs.