Becoming Conservative Mennonite

Christian ethics and theology with an Anabaptist perspective
PeterG
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Re: Becoming Conservative Mennonite

Post by PeterG »

The more I see and experience, the less I know what to think and say about this subject...

I began attending a conservative Mennonite church with my family when I was eleven. I was baptized there a few years later, and I've been a member of a conservative Mennonite church (actually two churches in two states) for about twenty years now. I have never felt any lack of acceptance because of my background. I've never felt that I've been treated differently than those born into conservative Mennonite families. I did not perceive any special barriers to church membership. I've been given many church responsibilities. I've been warmly received into my wife's large and somewhat prominent Amish-Mennonite family.

...but I've seen enough to know that not everyone has had such positive experiences, and that discrimination against those of non-Mennonite background is real in some churches.

On a different note, I think that the root of many of the problems faced by NMBs and the communities they try to join is the belief that following Jesus is synonymous with conservative Anabaptism, particularly conservative Anabaptism as practiced "here" (wherever "here" happens to be). (Actually, I think this is at the root of a lot of problems faced by Anabaptists in general.) This leads to excessive attention to details such as suspenders, gardening, and vehicle colors; inattention to issues unaddressed or underaddressed by conservative Anabaptists; the expectation that doing conservative Anabaptist things, in and of themselves, will bring spiritual life; and, worst of all, disillusionment with the very idea of following Jesus when becoming and being a conservative Anabaptist proves discouraging. LJones has written some incredibly insightful posts along these lines, many of which sadly disappeared with MD last year.
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Soloist
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Re: Becoming Conservative Mennonite

Post by Soloist »

I heard it said by a somewhat known seeker who did make it "among the Mennonites finding a church that isn't authoritarian or sliding into the world is very hard" He thinks my church is a good one and I do see some good fruit there. Can I determine what is not to compromise on and what to compromise on when I have spiritual baggage I'm trying to fix? I speak rhetorically of course...

As for dog breeding, we know many families who would not make it without that. Myself... the landlord hates dogs on his rentals.
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Mrs.Nisly
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Re: Becoming Conservative Mennonite

Post by Mrs.Nisly »

PeterG wrote:
Mrs.Nisly wrote:What I am hearing is that the issue for you was that you were in financial need whether or not you were in a Mennonite culture or in another Christian culture.
That's different than saying the Mennonite culture is too expensive.
Wade can speak for himself, but what I hear him saying is that he felt it was impossible for him to be accepted into the Mennonite church as long as he remained in financial need. To the degree that feeling was correct, the situation did not correspond well with the New Testament's description of Christ's church, to say the least.

Not that anyone's said otherwise, but I also think it's worth noting that "Mennonite culture" is not monolithic; there's more than one Mennonite culture.
Maybe you're right. We only know his side of the story. Did the church know he was in financial need and refused to accept him and his family until he could afford everything they required? Did the church offer to help them?
We know James plainly says that we should not tell someone to go be warmed and filled without doing anything to give them the things they are in need of.

I agree, the "Mennonite culture" is not monolithic. It varies a lot from denomination to denomination and region to region as well as church to church. But there are some practices that that generally define a group as conservative Mennonite.
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Josh
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Re: Becoming Conservative Mennonite

Post by Josh »

Wade wrote:I forgot to state that fitting into culture takes money. So when one can't keep up with Miller's, it isn't going to work. Mennonite culture is expensive! We have never been able to fit into that...
That's not usually the case, Wade. For me, becoming Mennonite ended up saving me money in the long run.

If it's really expensive to become part of a "Mennonite" church, you need to leave, go somewhere else, and don't look back!
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Josh
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Re: Becoming Conservative Mennonite

Post by Josh »

Sometimes I wonder what kind of horrible churches some of you folks have been through.

In my the first conservative church I was a part of, we regularly had visitors or regular attenders who lacked a car, a licence, and a job, and the community rallied together to help find work for those guys. Right now at that place there is a guy in instruction class who doesn't have a car or a bank account and turns over his meager wages to somebody else who manages his $ for him - he's a recovering drug addict and he chose that himself, as he doesn't want the temptation to go out and buy drugs.

I myself went through a period of about 6 months when I was part of a conservative church when I was flat out broke, I worked, but I could not pay my own rent or take care of my own car. At various points I borrowed $1000 to buy a car from a young men in his early 20s, for a few months, and another time borrowed $100 from two girls in their 20s, for about a week. When I got a really bad flu, one of the ladies would drop off leftovers from the night before, at the place I was staying the next morning, so I would have something to eat.

One of my best friends, who is now a member at my old church, is unemployed again and not always the greatest at paying bills on time - yet he is still a member, he just receives good brotherly counsel. He's been renting from a very established member of the church for over a year. I have not seen him mistreated at all when he has had financial ups and downs.

Maybe what makes a church healthy is the new members being willing to help out too. I've had to pitch in quite a few times. But in the long run, all that time and money and effort spent helping someone keep their car and stay driving - and keep their job - or finding a place for someone you live who you find out is homeless, and is living in their car - is well worth it. The person I am describing in that situation loves that church and regularly attends.

Wade, if you were in America, you'd find a warm harm in Hartville, Ohio, and I suspect that our sister churches in Ontario would be a warm place for you too. I don't think anyone would tolerate having a regular attender of their church so destitute their were eating off the floor. If I found out that was going on at my church, I would intervene, help the family, and then find out why it had gone on so long.
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Josh
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Re: Becoming Conservative Mennonite

Post by Josh »

A friend of mine is a convert to German Baptists, a single girl.

She's not sure who makes her dresses, but periodically they just show up in her closet, and she wears them. She's very grateful for it as she doesn't have the slightest idea how to sew.

I believe a healthy church should help clothe each other, particularly new members - but from what I have seen so far, every plain church I have been a part of, or visited, seems to do this with joy.
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Wade
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Re: Becoming Conservative Mennonite

Post by Wade »

PeterG wrote:
Mrs.Nisly wrote:What I am hearing is that the issue for you was that you were in financial need whether or not you were in a Mennonite culture or in another Christian culture.
That's different than saying the Mennonite culture is too expensive.
Wade can speak for himself, but what I hear him saying is that he felt it was impossible for him to be accepted into the Mennonite church as long as he remained in financial need. To the degree that feeling was correct, the situation did not correspond well with the New Testament's description of Christ's church, to say the least.

Not that anyone's said otherwise, but I also think it's worth noting that "Mennonite culture" is not monolithic; there's more than one Mennonite culture.
Thank you Peter, for helping with my struggle with too many words to get across what I was trying to communicate.
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Wade
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Re: Becoming Conservative Mennonite

Post by Wade »

Since I said too much without being able to give a clear and complete picture, I want to say this: the real issue with us not becoming members of a conservative Mennonite congregation is because of internal issues; my wife and I just cannot agree on all this to come to a spot that works for our family. We don't agree so indesicion keeps us from making any good desicion. So we don't submit one to another and choose worse...
Often it is like being continually stuck in the middle, as standards magnify the real issue.
The main loss to be had is by our children and their futures because of our selfishness...
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