i'm not aware of anyone posting on this forum that would view it differently.
i may have missed something.
i have wondered why this is a repeating interest for you, in light of your posts about your first wife, who, i believe, has never been present. if it did not recur as it does, i would have thought nothing of it. because it recurs, i wonder about her side of it. (my experience is, current spouses, and former spouses, generally have their own take on things.)
at times, you have posted words to others to the affect that you were uncomfortable reading about those not present, even suggesting this may be gossip. i concur; i think of your first wife. i would not go so far as to suggest to you or others you are engaging in gossip.
(if memory serves) your posts on this are now less emotional than they were on MD.
after posting my question above, i searched the word "gossip" in your posts.
most pertinent is this one to Valerie:
http://forum.mennonet.com/viewtopic.php ... sip#p17062
i agree with this.boot wrote:
.. It's a lot like the kind of gossip you often hear if people are having problems in their marriage.
Most people have only heard one side, they sympathize with one partner or the other, they quickly defend the one they prefer and demonize the other.
The gossips don't have any responsibility for fixing the marriage, they don't even have the opportunity to hear each side out carefully and seek points of reconciliation or find ways to put the marriage on the right track again, the gossip is emotional and one sided, and it just pours gas on the fire ..
in former times, when divorce was not the norm, i recall 2 wise, but not always welcome, sayings family elders would often draw on when disgrunted family members would come complaining about their marriages:
"You made your bed, now lie in it;"
"There are 2 sides to every argument."
honestly, i think those two sayings probably saved many marriages.
but, no-fault divorce has changed a lot.
no intention to trail-off on divorce! no.
just wondered about this particular seeming inconsistency, and how it works out.
on MD, there were several very good examples of unhappy, disgruntled, frustrated spouses who visited with specific questions about their marriages/families. honestly, the responses to these were fascinating (to me.)
on this forum, which so often represents conflicting opinions, on these matters, it was encouraging how responses were similar, constructive, and helpful, in real-life ways (not just rhetorical, but, common sense, Christian, scriptural responses.) interesting, it can be hard to find that sort of counsel in the world. it can "feel" impossible! sadly, those threads are lost.
well. anyway. now you have a thread on this question, so, i thought this would be the place to ask.