Another divorce question

[Josh]

It is a sad story often repeated.

Josh, may I ask your opinion? You stated earlier about a young woman who chose to not eat with immoral people, per the Scriptures. Would you take this stance against church members who you have firsthand knowledge of living in immorality?

I take that stance with people who are church members who claim to be in an Anabaptist church that upholds conservative/plain values and also claims to have consistent church discipline.

I do not do so with people outside of the church. 1 Corinthians 5 clearly teaches not to do that. In practical terms, this means I only really practice the avoidance inside my own church denomination, outside of a few specific cases of very immoral people.

This is something I've struggled with personally, not knowing where the line should be. I was told by my bishop at the time to not invite any divorced or remarried individuals to our wedding.

I disagree with that. All sinners are welcome to come to the church service. At our wedding we had a gentleman who repeatedly wrote bad checks and otherwise had trouble with dishonesty. He was welcome to come to the church service and also to come to the reception. As Holdemans we consider “eating with” to be “sitting at the same table, freely socialising”. We will serve a meal, and will also do something like meet for coffee. I have done so a number of times with a fallen brother, finding his way home.

We wanted to do what was right, and honored that despite it meaning that hardly any of my family were able to attend. Yet the same bishop sharply rebuked me for "putting distance" between a church member and myself after I honestly (and kindly, I think) addressing his moral failings. The only distance that was there was my declining invitations to his home and choosing to not have him in mine. This was more for the safety of my children than the fact that I could not bear to eat with him. We did indeed eat together at church functions.

Is there a clearly defined answer to these quandaries?

That is frankly absurd. 1 Corinthians 5 is pretty clear that we don’t extend the avoidance to people outside the church! Likewise, Paul criticised them sharply because they weren’t disciplining their own immoral members.

[Joy]

I do believe a child has an obligation to honor those in authority over them regardless of blood ties.

Legally speaking, stepparents aren’t an authority over children either. They are an unrelated intruder who has moved into the house.

This is how Scripture describes Jesus' relationship to both His mother and His stepfather:

And He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and He continued to be subject to them; and His mother treasured all these things in her heart. [Luke 2:51 NASB20]

[Joy]

And so far as the immoral character step-parent or unscriptural marriage partner, I would view the situation as similar to an official in the government who is immoral or a dictator-- we still obey those over us.

[Josh]

And so far as the immoral character step-parent or unscriptural marriage partner, I would view the situation as similar to an official in the government who is immoral or a dictator-- we still obey those over us.

There isn’t really any authority from a stepparent over a child though. Their legal authorities and family remain their mother and father.