The immorality of engagement rings

[Josh]

A popular belief in worldly circles is that a man should buy his fiancée an engagement ring. Let us look deeper into this practice.

The diamond trade has sordid origins involving apartheid, slavery, war, and blatant racism. But diamonds for engagement rings are fairly new custom which started in the 1930s. Why? DeBeers, a cartel run out of apartheid South Africa, needed a market for diamonds. So they decided to market the idea of engagement rings and then hike up the price of diamonds and create the perception they are somehow very valuable.

They were largely successful, so billions of dollars of diamonds started to be sold in America and other places. Meanwhile, diamonds were mined by people in near slavery or actual slavery conditions - not to mention the profits thereof often used to fund wars, most famously the very violent conflict in Western Africa in Sierra Leone. Despite these sordid associations, Christians kept buying them.

DeBeers promoted the idea that “three months’ salary” should be spent on such a ring. But why? Does the Bible support this concept? It absolutely does not.

An engagement ring is one of the worst purchases a young couple can make. It immediately loses most of its value after the sale, being worth maybe ¼ or ⅓ of its retail price. (If diamonds were so valuable, they wouldn’t lose much value, much as a gold bar or gold coin doesn’t lose much value after you buy it.)

It does absolutely nothing to support a marriage or build a godly foundation - indeed, people who wear engagement rings get divorced at alarming rates. Plain Anabaptists, who don’t, have a much lower divorce rate.

But saying “no” to the blood diamond trade, exorbitant “costly array”, and ostentatiousness isn’t just for plain Anabaptists. All Christians should heed the clear words of scripture and say no to the diamond engagement ring.

[mike]

Diamonds are great. They cut like nothing else.

[Sudsy]

Nothing wrong with engagement rings, imo. Is not immoral whatsoever. They represent that a female is in a state of preparing to be married so 'hands off'. There is nothing in scripture that supports not wearing an engagement ring anymore than there is not owning a computer. Myself and millions of other Christians see nothing immoral about it but you can believe as you wish.

[Josh]

Nothing wrong with engagement rings, imo. Is not immoral whatsoever. They represent that a female is in a state of preparing to be married so 'hands off'. There is nothing in scripture that supports not wearing an engagement ring anymore than there is not owning a computer. Myself and millions of other Christians see nothing immoral about it but you can believe as you wish.

Do you think scripture supports buying a $10,000 gold diamond engagement ring, where the diamond contributes to war profiteering, slavery, and environmental destruction?

Because that’s what the modern engagement ring is.

Let me repeat the scriptures:

“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;”

“Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;”

A gold engagement ring that costs $10,000 meets the very clear reading of the text.

[Soloist]

While I object to engagement rings now, hers was 200-300$.
10k is a little extreme for most people.

[Josh]

At a glance:

The average cost of an engagement ring has dipped to $5,500, but you can find rings that fit any budget.

From https://www.theknot.com/content/how-muc ... y%20budget.

[Josh]

I really can’t believe anyone would defend Christians participating in this kind of blatant violation of biblical principles:

Before we dive into the details, it's helpful to know where the three-months' salary rule originated. This etiquette tip can be traced back to the 1930s, during The Great Depression. The diamond industry was struggling to sell products due to the financial strain US citizens faced. As the leading diamond retailer at the time, De Beers launched a marketing campaign that aimed to increase the sale of diamond engagement rings.

It's important to note that, up until this point, diamond rings were not the norm for engagement jewelry. To change this narrative (and improve their business profit), De Beers' campaign claimed that diamond engagement rings were a true symbol of love and that buyers should commit one month of their salary to the purchase. According to the American Gem Society, this ad campaign increased diamond sales by 50%. By the end of the 20th century, about 80% of engagement rings included diamonds. This marketing campaign lasted through the years, and by the 1980s the number was upped by two months, which eventually turned into three months' worth of your salary.

[Ken]

lab grown diamonds are rapidly replacing mined diamonds and apparently 2023 was the first year that sales of lab grown diamonds exceeded mined diamonds.

Times are already changing fast and the younger generation are already moving away from DeBeers.

But all you say about the immorality of diamond mining and the wasteful extravagance of expensive engagement rings is entirely true.

One more thing you didn't mention is the investment value of diamonds. The diamond industry markets diamonds as an investment like gold with the notion that they will hold their value and appreciate. That is not true and people who go to sell expensive diamond rings on the secondary market often find out they are worth only half or less of what they paid for them. So the whole notion of investing in diamonds like one might invest in gold is a scam.

[Josh]

lab grown diamonds are rapidly replacing mined diamonds and apparently 2023 was the first year that sales of lab grown diamonds exceeded mined diamonds.

Times are already changing fast and the younger generation are already moving away from DeBeers.

But all you say about the immorality of diamond mining and the wasteful extravagance of expensive engagement rings is entirely true.

One more thing you didn't mention is the investment value of diamonds. The diamond industry markets diamonds as an investment like gold with the notion that they will hold their value and appreciate. That is not true and people who go to sell expensive diamond rings on the secondary market often find out they are worth only half or less of what they paid for them. So the whole notion of investing in diamonds like one might invest in gold is a scam.

DeBeers just agreed to cut prices on mined diamonds 30%, which reveals how much diamond pricing is fake and fixed by a cartel. And yep, lab grown diamonds are eclipsing mined diamonds - fewer ethical concerns, cheaper, better clarity…

It is unethical to market it as an “investment” as well, which really calls into question the whole jewellery retail industry.

[ohio jones]

At a glance:

The average cost of an engagement ring has dipped to $5,500, but you can find rings that fit any budget.

From https://www.theknot.com/content/how-muc ... y%20budget.

I've never heard of a 3 months salary rule, but that's apparently a thing of the past.