Seekers and troubled homes

[GoodGirl]

Ned, I’m sorry too. I have never experienced anything like that. I truly hope you’re doing well now.

[Josh]

When a bad situation arises, we should give both parties the benefit of the doubt. But also recognise both parties may have a problem.

Any setting that has a “believe all women” or “always believe the man” is going to have a major problem with the first manipulative man, or manipulative woman, it gets.

Such a person will start spinning tales (since they know they will be believed) about how terrible and mean and abusive their spouse is. They will be very good at painting themselves as a victim.

Of course this doesn’t mean everyone who reports an abusive spouse is lying or manipulative. But a good credo here is, “Trust but verify.” The last time someone told me how terrible and awful his wife was, I did exactly that.

[NedFlanders]

Ned, I’m sorry too. I have never experienced anything like that. I truly hope you’re doing well now.

Thank you. I think it was actually to my benefit believing this is how it was. When I was an atheist if I knew not all woman were this way I probably would have divorced my wife. Thank God what the devil intended for evil God used for good.

[NedFlanders]

When a bad situation arises, we should give both parties the benefit of the doubt. But also recognise both parties may have a problem.

Any setting that has a “believe all women” or “always believe the man” is going to have a major problem with the first manipulative man, or manipulative woman, it gets.

Such a person will start spinning tales (since they know they will be believed) about how terrible and mean and abusive their spouse is. They will be very good at painting themselves as a victim.

Of course this doesn’t mean everyone who reports an abusive spouse is lying or manipulative. But a good credo here is, “Trust but verify.” The last time someone told me how terrible and awful his wife was, I did exactly that.

The last time someone told me how terrible his wife was, I replied with the question, “ Are you watching porn?” He said, “Yes.” Then I said, “ Don’t say another negative word about your wife until you get that dealt with. No wonder you have a disconnect with her.” The neat thing is he has since become an anabaptist seeker comes to services periodically and contacts me almost daily. Some people take really well to the call of repentance.

[Josh]

The last time someone told me how terrible his wife was, I replied with the question, “ Are you watching porn?” He said, “Yes.” Then I said, “ Don’t say another negative word about your wife until you get that dealt with. No wonder you have a disconnect with her.” The neat thing is he has since become an anabaptist seeker comes to services periodically and contacts me almost daily. Some people take really well to the call of repentance.

That is a positive testimony.

One of the challenges is when someone tells you a sad story and portrays their spouse or parent/parents as abusive… yet you see things in the person that need to change. Of course we never want to see someone in an abusive situation, but like your above example, there was a clear need for the subject to make some changes.