Did you date/court anyone before your spouse?

[steve-in-kville]

I realize we may have a few here on MN that are on their second marriage for whatever reason, but you all get the drift.

Vote and comment.

[Josh]

Might be good to include church background in the poll… I “dated” someone when I was 13 (ie we visited at prayer meeting and homeschool coop)

[Soloist]

I was in a relationship as a child until 18 then she betrayed my relationship. I was very immature then and wasn’t really even ready for a relationship anyway.
My next one was 1 date and we mutually by unspoken thought never did it again.
After that, I found my wife.

Church wise, Baptist/non-denominational but not a real Christian. My life looked like anyone else mostly in terms of how I made my choices. Self.

[steve-in-kville]

Might be good to include church background in the poll… I “dated” someone when I was 13 (ie we visited at prayer meeting and homeschool coop)

I realize there are like a bajillion variables, hence the "sort of" and "it's complicated" options exist.

[steve-in-kville]

Beyond the "going out" drama of middle school, I took a girl I worked with on a date, but it wasn't meant to be. I was really close with another, we did stuff together, but we never "dated". She set me up on a blind date with her cousin, and that was an absolute train wreck.

Maybe a year later I met my wife and the rest is history.

[Josh]

I must become kind of Lothario then. I’ve gone on hundreds of dates (most of them pointless).

One thing I really appreciate about the Holdemans is, I never went on any dates with my present wife until we were married and our engagement was only 7 weeks (plus a 2 week period before that). It makes our marriage feel a lot more special.

[steve-in-kville]

I must become kind of Lothario then. I’ve gone on hundreds of dates (most of them pointless).

One thing I really appreciate about the Holdemans is, I never went on any dates with my present wife until we were married and our engagement was only 7 weeks (plus a 2 week period before that). It makes our marriage feel a lot more special.

My maternal grandparents had a really short courtship and didn't waste time planning a wedding. But that was a different time

[Grace]

I was raised in The Weaverland Conference Church at a time when the only way you could really get to know someone was through dating them. There was very little opportunity to get to know someone of the opposite sex, outside of dating. That was many years ago and I don't know if that method of getting to know someone is still practiced in that conference. It was not a good thing though, because many times couples would date for several months and the growing love between them was not mutual. Then when one decided to move out of the relationship, and break up, it left the other one heart broken. It also was a time when there was very little physical contact between the couples. If a young man got too handsy, he was told where to get off.

[Josh]

I must become kind of Lothario then. I’ve gone on hundreds of dates (most of them pointless).

One thing I really appreciate about the Holdemans is, I never went on any dates with my present wife until we were married and our engagement was only 7 weeks (plus a 2 week period before that). It makes our marriage feel a lot more special.

My maternal grandparents had a really short courtship and didn't waste time planning a wedding. But that was a different time

The wedding planning takes place in 4-9 weeks. So time is wasted, but only 4 to 9 weeks. Basically the bride’s family runs things along with the entire bride’s congregation.

Some school boards and employers get annoyed with this.

[Soloist]

Wife: I was asked to a dance by someone in high school just as friends, and I initially said yes, but then, when I found out that he had asked me because I was the skinny one of my group, I ended up telling my dad to forbid me to go on a date because I thought he was weird, which he was happy to do.

When I was in training in Georgia, some guy asked me to go on a date with him Thanksgiving day, and he was supposedly a Christian, and he liked Reliant K, and we went with friends to a Chinese restaurant, and he ended up putting his hand on my leg, which freaked me out and so I spent the next while avoiding him until one of his friends asked me why. I think another time, he had asked me if I wanted to go play video games with him and some of his friends at some hotel and I decided that was a really stupid idea. Otherwise, soloist was my first actual boyfriend.