'anabaptist' Attitude Toward Adoption

[Neto]

I am not the You Know Who Poll King, but I've been thinking about this question recently.

[Neto]

Because we were already planning to leave the States for missionary service before we were expecting our first child, we wrote up our "Last Will & Testament" to cover all possibilities, having no children of our own, and adopting, a mix, or all 'natural' children.

I can identify with the sentiment I attempted to verbalize in 1b. Adoption, particularly when the child is coming from a disadvantaged country, can be a sort of ‘child abduction’, because it takes advantage of the parents’ limited financial options.

I have a burden for foster parents, and for children who are put into the foster system due to various types of family issues. Some of these children have suffered horrible treatment. Then there is also the whole aging out issue, where young adults are set off on their own after the age of 18 or so. This is an area that, I think, deserves our attention as Followers of Christ.

I know a couple who fall into the category in # 4 – They are unable to have children of their own, wanted to adopt, but one or both of their sets of parents strongly opposed it, so they did not pursue it.

I also know a couple who adopted two boys, both of which are too damaged by exposure to drugs during the gestation period – their mothers were drug users. One of the boys can become so violent that it is not safe for the (widowed) mother to have him in her home. One of these boys has a half-sister who was also adopted by an area Mennonite family, and she has suffered from the same birth defects.

I don’t think there is anything “wrong” with adopting a child from any other ethnic background, but have also seen the turmoil of identity some of these children have experienced as they grew up.

[Soloist]

I would consider adopting medically fragile children, side step discipline issues entirely. They likely would decide I don’t make enough…

[Ken]

We have an adopted daughter and two biological daughters. They are all equally bright, caring, and morally upstanding girls.

We came into this through private reasons related to a situation in our extended family that I do not care to elaborate about. But as a result we never got involved in adoption politics or more common pathways to adoption and weren't really seeking it out like some. So our experience is probably not generalizable.

My wife threatens to sign us up to be foster parents when we retire in a few years. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm kind of looking forward to getting the last child out of the house and be free to travel and not have to hold down such a rigid schedule that adheres to the school year.

We do have cousins who went through a fiasco of adopting a child from Russia who turned out to be very damaged and they actually returned her to the orphanage in what was something of a family scandal. Her mother-in-law (my wife's aunt) was enraged by that and it is still a source of lingering family tension. They later adopted a daughter from Guatemala who also turned out to have a learning disability and other physical issues. They kept that one and the wife ended up giving up her career as an attorney to take care of the child. She is a very obsessive and perfectionist type of woman and I have actually told her: "look, your child is likely to wind up basically the same regardless of how much endless time and effort you put into the project. There is only so much you can do and you have to live your own life as well." She didn't listen.

[barnhart]

Neto, I can't check any of those options, the closest would be 1b, helping strength delicate families in stress. I've seen that done. I'm neither "for" nor "against" adoption, it can be a wonderful calling and at the same time there can be risks just like any other form of parenting. It may not be advisable for people with a high degree of power and control in their family culture.

[Neto]

Neto, I can't check any of those options, the closest would be 1b, helping strength delicate families in stress. I've seen that done. I'm neither "for" nor "against" adoption, it can be a wonderful calling and at the same time there can be risks just like any other form of parenting. It may not be advisable for people with a high degree of power and control in their family culture.

I was struggling to "cover the bases" so to speak, and didn't do well. I should have just put up an open-ended question. Maybe also trying to cover too much territory. I have heard some of these responses - not here necessarily, I don't remember where. I feel for the children who are never considered, maybe because they are "too old", the "wrong ethnicity", "too broken", etc. I also have a burden for the parents who feel they have no choice but to give up a child, and the ones who have had their children taken away from them because of their vices. Not that the child does not need to be put into another family, but for the lack of being able to help them, too, to give them a life, one they didn't have when they themselves were small children. Then the children who while they appreciate the opportunity they were given by being adopted, feel culturally adrift because they were taken out of their own culture and heritage.

[mike]

I didn't know which box to check either. If we had not been able to have children, I'm sure the idea would have been up for consideration. I feel adoption and fostering are a real and serious need, and those who serve in that way have my highest respect. There are unique challenges associated, but so does parenting of any sort. God bless all of those who go to the effort to make it work, but especially the children who have to deal with transitions and disruptions that I can't even imagine.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Children without parents, or without parents who are able to care for them, must be extremely close to God's heart.

[Josh]

I would consider adopting medically fragile children, side step discipline issues entirely. They likely would decide I don’t make enough…

You could foster them instead and they’d give you money.

[Josh]

I could repeat multiple stories exactly like Ken’s. It’s given adoption a bad name.

We will soon see if similar social problems occur with children conceived via ivf, surrogacy etc (evidence already exists they have similar degrees of problems as adopted children or children raised by single moms).

[ABC 123]

If we don't "believe in" adoption because of idealistic notions (i.e. children should stay with their bio parents) what happens to all the children who are born of completely broken situations that will never be restored to healthy and functioning?

I am surrounded by quite a few adopted family members, so I am passionate about loving people where they are and where they have come from. Why wouldn't I?

I am also against referring to pet "adoptions".