Cliques in our youth

[gracefortoday]

Has anyone here dealt with cliques in your youth group or mission team? Can you tell me how you handled them as an adult in charge of youth whether on a mission trip or within a youth group? If you've talked to parents of the youth involved, do they stick up for their child or are they willing to help you work with their child? Any information about what you did that was successful is helpful.

I'm thinking of an extreme case where the clique actually mopes if they're not allowed to be together. They have to have hands on each other hugging each other or touching in some way. Is this a healthy sign or a sign of something that's wrong? Sorry, I have a lot of questions.

[steve-in-kville]

Interesting topic.

Cliques are gonna happen whether it's with teens or adults. It is part of a natural social structure.

[MaxPC]

Interesting topic.

Cliques are gonna happen whether it's with teens or adults. It is part of a natural social structure.

Well said. You have just explained social psychology far better than many psych profs.

[gracefortoday]

Well, thanks for the obvious. I think everyone knows this. Doesn't answer the question, though.

[steve-in-kville]

Well, thanks for the obvious. I think everyone knows this. Doesn't answer the question, though.

I didn't intend to.

Let's look at it a different way: if a youth leader tries to eliminate (or control) so called "cliques", in all likelihood they may create a whole different set of problems for themselves.

[MaxPC]

Well, thanks for the obvious. I think everyone knows this. Doesn't answer the question, though.

I didn't intend to.

Let's look at it a different way: if a youth leader tries to eliminate (or control) so called "cliques", in all likelihood they may create a whole different set of problems for themselves.

Exactly. The youth leader would do well to teach the matters of the faith and help the different cliques to identify with those teachings. This will help clique members to feel a part of a larger identity group in Christ.

[steve-in-kville]

If a church has this issue with its youth, guaranteed they already have the same issue with full grown adults.

[gracefortoday]

If a church has this issue with its youth, guaranteed they already have the same issue with full grown adults.

Yes, I agree with this. We have found that to be the case. It's a sad reality.

[mike]

Years ago when we were responsible for some youth that were traveling to an event, we assigned seating to separate some cliques. You can do a few things like this, but not sure how much they help in the long run.

One thing that our school does in order to combat cliques is that they have "buddy groups." An older student, usually a high schooler, is the leader of a small group that has students of various ages/grade levels. This group does various things together through the school year. For example, they may be together on field trips. The leader may be responsible to get Christmas, birthday, or end of year gifts for the group. It seems to be a nice way to promote a whole-school spirit and it gives the high schoolers an opportunity to practice leadership skills. Maybe some variation of this would work for a youth group.

[Grace]

If a church has this issue with its youth, guaranteed they already have the same issue with full grown adults.

Agreed 100%. One of our local conservative Mennonite high schools in the area was horrible for cliques. I was of the opinion that the adults were just as bad and because they were, they certainly weren't going to address the issue with the young people who attended.