"Regular attenders" that avoid commitment?

[steve-in-kville]

Fortunately, I don't know a lot of these situations, but I have seen a few over the years: families that attend a church regularly, participate in services and activities (where allowed) but never commit to membership. I've known of situations where their own teenage children are baptized into membership, yet the parents prefer to remain non-members.

Sometimes, they move on eventually and find the right fit in another fellowship. Sometimes they drift off into nothing. I don't see this much in the larger, long-established groups as much as I do in church plants, mission points and the in-between-ish (independent?) type circles.

I have no real direction for this topic. Discuss, give opinions, tell stories, whatever.

[Valerie]

We have not become members at the church we've been attending 7 years now. It makes me uncomfortable to keep delaying the step. When I first turned to Christ at 15 yrs, our church didn't believe in official memberships. That somewhat seemed right to me. Then when we moved to OH we became members of a Foursquare Gospel Church we attended & active in for 20 yrs. We left the whole Pentecostals/charismatic movement over concerns & direction.

When we started our present Church it was a safe p l ace so to speak becoming unsure as seekers to Anabaptists & soon after, Orthodox. We needed to quit trying to figure so much out as "right" & attend where we believed although not infallible, at least sound doctrine. We have been at peace her BUT avoid the step of official membership because there's been e nought learned from Anabaptists & Orthodox both that we(or at least I) feel like is it right to become members if you' have some differences?

I posted this to share why some drag their feet, there certainly could be other issues for others

[steve-in-kville]

I posted this to share why some drag their feet, there certainly could be other issues for others

This makes total sense to me. Thanks for sharing

[Sudsy]

I grew up in a church that did not have formal church membership. When I first left that church, I attended a Baptist church that church membership was nothing more than what they called 'extending the right hand of fellowship' which meant there was an occasion given to shake everyone's hand that had previously followed this welcoming tradition.

Since then I have participated in 4 other Christian churches were I have opted to not become a formal member. Basically, I don't believe in formal church membership with a church covenant and other members only practises as I don't believe these are biblical practises.

I do believe in 'commitment' to the Lord first and to fellowship and other biblical practises when I have been part of a local church but not in this formal way that most churches practise. And I have never been part of a local church that practised closed communion.

In the churches I participated in with formal membership, aside from not being able to vote on matters or to take certain leadership roles, I was given lots of opportunity to participate. This included my involvement in our local MB church that does have a formal membership practise but open communion.

[Neto]

There are some families like that in our congregation, but I do not know the reasons they have not become members, some now after a decade or more. There is a couple there who are now members, for quite a few years already, but attended for quite a few years w/o becoming members. They were former Amish, an older couple. He had a long-standing smoking habit, and I'd say that he felt he couldn't join until he quit.

There was a Quaker couple who attended the MB congregation where I grew up, for many years, probably still there. They were in the SS class my dad taught for many years, and so I met them when we visited there from time to time. They didn't join because they don't believe in a physical observance of baptism. (I assume they also do not participate in communion services, because that is a part of the same set of beliefs in their branch of "Quakerism".)

We were a part of a new congregation that started out of our current congregation, and something about it that I cannot put my finger on attracted lots of families who did not believe in formal church membership. Large families, to the extent that these 'non-members' made up around half of the faithful attendees. We returned to the 'mother church' after 6 months for other reasons - mainly because the new congregation's leadership had decided that there would not be any adult SS classes, so while I don't really know, I'm fairly sure that those families are still attending there, and still not formal members. I do think that the 'formal' part of this is not something of great importance, but the voiced intention to give and accept counsel as a part of the body IS important. Perhaps a congregation like that can come up with some sort of process where by these people can enter into those commitments w/o the baggage of the formal membership - maybe that congregation has done that; I do not know.

[MaxPC]

By way of affirmation if you will, Catholic World shares similar situations.

There are those who stay but never join the parish or even the Catholic Church. They are content to attend Sunday classes, go to Mass (but not partake of Communion), and go on retreats or pilgrimages with the parish. When speaking with them, they do like the pastor and the liturgy; they enjoy the fellowship with the members; but they just do not feel the urge to join the Catholic Church. We do not pressure them; rather we keep our hospitality open to them and let God work on their hearts.

Then there are the "parish-hoppers": those who will attend one parish for a month then move on to another parish, usually because they dislike the pastor or the liturgy, etc. They most often have a fixation on their own vision of the perfect parish.

[Praxis+Theodicy]

I do think that the 'formal' part of this is not something of great importance, but the voiced intention to give and accept counsel as a part of the body IS important.

I want to lend my support to this statement. I'll add that formal membership is very helpful in this process. I understand the idea that the Bible doesn't talk about "local church membership" the way its practiced today, but it's just a formalizing of what the Bible DOES talk about, like "submitting yourselves one to another" and the whole process of church discipline in Matthew 18/Luke 17.

I mostly went to baptist churches that were so lack on church discipline that when I went to a church that practiced it, I was like "Wow! They actually do what the Bible tells them to do, they don't just kinda spiritualized it!" This disciplining church also had really formal lines between members and visitors.

Then i went to a baptist church where the pastor was really zealous about church discipline, but he, again, mostly emphasized spiritual membership in the universal church, not so much the local church. So he would tell stories about bullying visitors out of the church because they were living together unwed and stuff. They were just visitor, they never got a chance to come alongside and learn and be convicted. They obviously didn't have the same convictions as this baptist church, they had obviously not been taught the same doctrines and traditions. Tons of people are led to Christ through a simple, toothless message about justification, and are not taught how to follow Christ. But this pastor just thought "Hey, if they come in here on Sunday and claim to be Christians, I gotta treat them the same way I would my closer brothers and sisters."

Imagine seekers in your church who had not been taught about the headship order. If a woman was visiting your church service and was not veiling, would you treat her the same as you would a member of your church? If the answer is "No," I think you're now onto the reason membership is an important -or at least valuable- tool for a church to have, and for individual Christians to embrace.

[barnhart]

Is this a growing trend? Is it an expression of the broader society values of distrust in organizations?

[silentreader]

Is this a growing trend? Is it an expression of the broader society values of distrust in organizations?

IMO it is an expression of an increasing unwillingness to be accountable to others.

[thebluffs]

Is this a growing trend? Is it an expression of the broader society values of distrust in organizations?

I would add that it is also impacted by the church reaping the harvest of individualism in previous generations. Essentially, its the Renaissance coming home to roost.