Family Quality Time

Christian ethics and theology with an Anabaptist perspective
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Adam
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Family Quality Time

Post by Adam »

I would like to ask those who do not watch television, DVDs, movies, etc. what you or those in your church community do to spend quality time with your families. I am particularly interested in hearing from those who have children at home, and I am also particularly interested in how you spend quality time together as a family at night (that is the time when my own family would typically watch TV together, and I am interested in exploring alternatives). I think many of us in our culture have become so used to watching TV that we have lost sight of other ways that families can spend quality time together on a daily basis, particularly at night.
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PeterG
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Re: Family Quality Time

Post by PeterG »

We have three children, ages 2, 6, and 8. We certainly don't lack for things to do in the evenings, and I very rarely need to give the children suggestions since they usually have something in mind that they'd like to do with me. Weather permitting, we might toss a frisbee or play some version of soccer or baseball outside. They enjoy playing hide and seek indoors and out. We play games like checkers and Uno. We build with Legos. We read books. They "help" me with projects, repairs, yard work, and gardening (although the quotation marks are becoming less appropriate as they get older).
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Sunbeam
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Re: Family Quality Time

Post by Sunbeam »

We have five children at home ranging from age 11-22.
We love to play games together as a family. I just finished playing a game of Authors with the youngest two. Other indoor games we play and thoroughly enjoy are Settlers of Catan, Ticket to Ride, Racko, Pente, Carcassonne, and more infrequently Dutch Blitz and Uno and Memory.

The boys and my husband enjoy playing disk golf, and play it when they can. We have a disk golf basket, and they practice in the back yard of an evening.

We also just like to just sit around and talk about plans and ideas, and the things that happened that day in our respective lives.

Our older boys just finished building a pretty nice raft and in June are planning to raft with several of their friends down the Mississippi River almost the entire month of June.
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Sunbeam
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Re: Family Quality Time

Post by Sunbeam »

We have nearly 11 acres of land, much of which is wooded. We enjoy clearing out the untamed parts of our land, and burning the resulting piles of stuff. We do that together as a family. It's actually one of my favorite things to do.
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PeterG
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Re: Family Quality Time

Post by PeterG »

Sunbeam wrote:The boys and my husband enjoy playing disk golf, and play it when they can. We have a disk golf basket, and they practice in the back yard of an evening.
Interesting! I also play disc golf, and now that my boys are big enough to do all the walking (a round of disc golf usually involves at least a mile of walking) I often take them with me. We all enjoy it.
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Ernie
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Re: Family Quality Time

Post by Ernie »

PeterG wrote:We have three children, ages 2, 6, and 8. We certainly don't lack for things to do in the evenings, and I very rarely need to give the children suggestions since they usually have something in mind that they'd like to do with me. Weather permitting, we might toss a frisbee or play some version of soccer or baseball outside. They enjoy playing hide and seek indoors and out. We play games like checkers and Uno. We build with Legos. We read books. They "help" me with projects, repairs, yard work, and gardening (although the quotation marks are becoming less appropriate as they get older).
We do the same kinds of things. Our little girls have a lot of imagination. (Which is in part due to not having TV.) They are rarely ever bored.
We also have lots of animals, and sometimes entertain foreigners at our house. They enjoy helping to entertain and show people their animals, their doll houses, their creations out of sticks and stones and flowers and more.
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Bootstrap
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Re: Family Quality Time

Post by Bootstrap »

I like most of what has been said here.

Let me add one thing: if you turn the TV off, you'll find things to do. You'll figure out how to be family together - or if you are single, how to be alone with just you and God. You'll discover each other, and yourself. You might have a week or two of discomfort as you figure it out. That's OK. It might take a month or two to get used to it. Eventually, you'll stop thinking about it, because you'll be living in the real world.

Our culture values mindless distraction. I don't think it has a lot of value.
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RZehr
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Re: Family Quality Time

Post by RZehr »

I've been out riding bike this fine evening with my kids. I just blew up a balloon for my 3 & 4 year olds. They love it when I pretend to be a dangerous animal and chase them. Or I'll wrestle with them. I'll sometimes read to them, or make up a story for them. They seem to like made up stories. Sometimes we sing, or just let them sing to us. Sometimes they (or me) play games. Most of the time they entertain themselves.

The size of the family and community plays a big part as well. Many evenings there is something going on. Saturday evening there were 3 of my nephews here. Sunday evening after church we went visiting. My 5 children are all under 10, but when they turn 15 there is regularly scheduled church youth activities.

But while I obviously should not just tune out my children, I really don't feel it is my responsibility to entertain my children. I think that is a newfangled idea. I'm not their toy. I want to be close to them, but at the same time I'm not their pal, or playmate. I don't want them to develop an "entertain me" mentally. If they develop this appetite, then it needs to be fed.

I do want to teach them how to work. Some evenings they/we do chores inside or outside. They might play with animals. Every wonder why Mennonite homes are neat? It might be because the parents are needing something to keep the children out of trouble, or they are doing yard or gardening work together.
I feel like it is more important to work with them than play with them.
People bond better by working together than they do playing together.
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MaxPC
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Re: Family Quality Time

Post by MaxPC »

RZehr wrote:I've been out riding bike this fine evening with my kids. I just blew up a balloon for my 3 & 4 year olds. They love it when I pretend to be a dangerous animal and chase them. Or I'll wrestle with them. I'll sometimes read to them, or make up a story for them. They seem to like made up stories. Sometimes we sing, or just let them sing to us. Sometimes they (or me) play games. Most of the time they entertain themselves.

The size of the family and community plays a big part as well. Many evenings there is something going on. Saturday evening there were 3 of my nephews here. Sunday evening after church we went visiting. My 5 children are all under 10, but when they turn 15 there is regularly scheduled church youth activities.

But while I obviously should not just tune out my children, I really don't feel it is my responsibility to entertain my children. I think that is a newfangled idea. I'm not their toy. I want to be close to them, but at the same time I'm not their pal, or playmate. I don't want them to develop an "entertain me" mentally. If they develop this appetite, then it needs to be fed.

I do want to teach them how to work. Some evenings they/we do chores inside or outside. They might play with animals. Every wonder why Mennonite homes are neat? It might be because the parents are needing something to keep the children out of trouble, or they are doing yard or gardening work together.
I feel like it is more important to work with them than play with them.
People bond better by working together than they do playing together.
RZehr's description matches our own when we still had children at home.

Our boys enjoyed working on the car or the tractor with me. All of them could change brake pads by the age of 15. Painting the house outside or in was a favorite task for the children.

When I needed to build a bench or bookcase, they worked alongside. When there was cooking to be done the girls helped in the kitchen. Harvesting and prepping the vegetables always created an opportunity for a race for the girls and the boys.

Children learn by doing and who better to learn from than their parents who love them?
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Max (Plain Catholic)
Mt 24:35
Proverbs 18:2 A fool does not delight in understanding but only in revealing his own mind.
1 Corinthians 3:19 For the wisdom of this world is folly with God
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