Are Marriage Vows Scriptural ?

[Sudsy]

The recent thread on pledging allegiance got me thinking about marriage vows.

Is it true that some Anabaptists are against making vows ? And if so, do these include marriage vows ?

Also what kind of marriage vows (the wordings) did you make when getting married if you made vows?

If you did not make vows, what did you say to each other and/or to God ?

Also, this thread is open to views pro and con on making marriage vows or on stating certain things in marriage vows.

And as this thread title reads are marriage vows scriptural ?

[Soloist]

Well, I've puzzled over this... and I don't know. What I do know though...

If you believe in an exception clause for remarriage, you threw it away when you vowed "till death do us part" before God.

[steve-in-kville]

My first reaction would be: I don't see anything wrong or unscriptural about it.

[Josh]

My first reaction would be: I don't see anything wrong or unscriptural about it.

I've often wondered about this, since Jesus did seem to teach against making vows. Yet Anabaptists feel comfortable with vows for baptism, marriage, and ordination. (And in some circles, vows upon reacceptance after being excommunicated.)

[Sudsy]

Here is the original marriage vows that are the base for most Christian marriage vows that I am aware of that were originated by Thomas Canmer in the year 1549. Alterations have been made over time but this is the original in the 1549 Book of Common Prayer with a final revision in 1662.

http://justus.anglican.org/resources/bc ... e_1549.htm

I'm especially curious if some Anabaptists have their own marriage vows as an Anabaptist group and if all Anabaptists would allow for the couple to write their own marriage vows ?

Interesting also that these original vows have most often removed the words for the wife to obey her husband. Do Anabaptist vows remove this also from the original ?

I just found this previous related thread - viewtopic.php?t=1684

[Josh]

Here is the original marriage vows that are the base for most Christian marriage vows that I am aware of that were originated by Thomas Canmer in the year 1549. Alterations have been made over time but this is the original in the 1549 Book of Common Prayer with a final revision in 1662.

http://justus.anglican.org/resources/bc ... e_1549.htm

I'm especially curious if some Anabaptists have their own marriage vows as an Anabaptist group and if all Anabaptists would allow for the couple to write their own marriage vows ?

Interesting also that these original vows have most often removed the words for the wife to obey her husband. Do Anabaptist vows remove this also from the original ?

I just found this previous related thread - viewtopic.php?t=1684

Anabaptists are surprisingly uniform in the vows they use for special ordinances.

[Neto]

We wrote our own. One change was that I didn't want to say "forsaking all others" as though I was doing it only at that moment, like the night before wouldn't count. (I said: Having forsaken all others....") (I actually still have the piece of wrapping paper on which I wrote out and "edited" that. Including the joking words: "I, ___ _. ___, being of sound mind, do hereby solemnly affirm ...." )

I also wonder about the "Who giveth this woman..." business. My wife was definitely opposed to that - she was giving her own self, thank you! We also didn't do that for our daughter. Instead, I had a short piece I had written, that we had been blessed with this daughter, and had cared for her, but that now this responsibility was going to the young man she was marrying. It was an acceptance of him, and also a challenge to him.

[barnhart]

I also wonder about the "Who giveth this woman..." business. My wife was definitely opposed to that - she was giving her own self, thank you! We also didn't do that for our daughter. Instead, I had a short piece I had written, that we had been blessed with this daughter, and had cared for her, but that now this responsibility was going to the young man she was marrying. It was an acceptance of him, and also a challenge to him.

I have four daughters and I don't see myself participating in that either. While we are expressing dissatisfaction with wedding ceremonies, I would like to register a complaint about the phrase "by the power invested in me by the state of _______ , I pronounce you husband and wife." I don't think the state is trustworthy or worthy of regulating or defining marriage. I objected to this at my own wedding 22 years ago.

[Neto]

I also wonder about the "Who giveth this woman..." business. My wife was definitely opposed to that - she was giving her own self, thank you! We also didn't do that for our daughter. Instead, I had a short piece I had written, that we had been blessed with this daughter, and had cared for her, but that now this responsibility was going to the young man she was marrying. It was an acceptance of him, and also a challenge to him.

I have four daughters and I don't see myself participating in that either. While we are expressing dissatisfaction with wedding ceremonies, I would like to register a complaint about the phrase "by the power invested in me by the state of _______ , I pronounce you husband and wife." I don't think the state is trustworthy or worthy of regulating or defining marriage. I objected to this at my own wedding 22 years ago.

I have also pushed dropping this language. Not only does it confuse the State with the church in respect to defining marriage, but it may also leave pastors more widely targeted by those who ask for a marriage ceremony that is not in keeping with his own convictions, or the standards of the congregation. Marriages are conducted by the pastor for members of the congregation, not just anyone who wants more than a civil ceremony in front of a judge and a few witnesses pulled out of the hallway, but still with the accompanying State's legal stamp.

[thebluffs]

At our church, we use these vows - as I've aged, I've become increasingly reluctant to let couples write their own vows and instead, request that they use the vows that the broader church uses to define the terms of their covenant commitment to each other. The reality is that marriage is a covenant made before God and witnesses, and that the more ways that we remind ourselves that God defines the terms of the covenant, rather than us, the better it is to develop our understanding of marriage. Reminding us that our preferences don't dictate the reality of our relationship with God and with each other as expressed in "personalized marriage vows" is usually a good way to continue this conversation.

and ps - no inclusion of who gives this woman to be married unless by request and no statement of the authority vested in my by the state - I see a day coming very soon where the difference of definition of marriage between myself and the state will eliminate my ability to act as an agent of the state- so start sooner rather than later