Being educated vs. remaining "innocent"?

[steve-in-kville]

Most likely this may be the start of a series of threads/polls resulting from the afore mentioned documentary on abuse within the conservative Anabaptists groups. As of now, I narrowed down three subjects I think it would be beneficial to discuss: education on sexuality, prevention of abuse and support for when something bad does take place.

But first education. To my immediate knowledge, most of our parochial schools do not provide sex education much like public schools do. I see pro's and con's to that. I'm sure many here think it should happen at home, and I see the good and bad to that as well. Growing up on a farm or with animals would provide the "mechanics" of the topic but maybe not the ethics/morals (right & wrong) that go with it.

Various additional questions:
At what age should we have "the talk" with our children?
Is there Christian-based literature available for early teen's to read about it on their own?
Are we as parents educated properly ourselves in order to educate our children?
Should certain things be taught at certain ages?
I'm sure I'll have more later...

As in most of my threads, I have no agenda here. This is meant for healthy discussion.

[Grace]

Someone once told me that if you weight until after age 8, it is to late. I didn't believe them. Sure enough, when one our children was 8, another little friend filled our child in on all the details about the "facts of life". This particular little friend lived on a farm with lots of animals and had figured it all out. I can't really say it was a bad thing, because the information was correct and the little friend had learned the information from a very innocent, yet valid source...the farm animals, namely their many cats and all the little kitties that periodically came on the scene.

As for books, Christian Light has an excellent book for children on the matter.

[steve-in-kville]

Someone once told me that if you weight until after age 8, it is to late.

Never heard that specific age mentioned, but makes sense.

An afterthought I had... I wonder where the balance should be in instructing a child that their own bodies are private and not to be touched by anyone else? Too much info could make a child paranoid and perhaps make for many "false alarms." Too little, and they may set themselves up for abuse.

[Grace]

Someone once told me that if you weight until after age 8, it is to late.

Never heard that specific age mentioned, but makes sense.

An afterthought I had... I wonder where the balance should be in instructing a child that their own bodies are private and not to be touched by anyone else? Too much info could make a child paranoid and perhaps make for many "false alarms." Too little, and they may set themselves up for abuse.

Our children attended a public school in their earlier years and in first grade they addressed this issue. They allowed the parents to attend the talk given by an abuse specialist. It was very well done and age appropriate, using a teddy bear as an example, putting a lot of focus on what is a bad touch and what is a good touch.

[Josh]

Children can’t really be responsible for preventing abuse against them and no amount of “education” will change that. Adults have to be in their guard to recognise signs of chronic sexual sin, and then they will be able to identifier potential or active abusers.

[Grace]

Children can’t really be responsible for preventing abuse against them and no amount of “education” will change that. Adults have to be in their guard to recognise signs of chronic sexual sin, and then they will be able to identifier potential or active abusers.

That is all true. However, children need to be taught to tell someone.

[steve-in-kville]

Children can’t really be responsible for preventing abuse against them and no amount of “education” will change that. Adults have to be in their guard to recognise signs of chronic sexual sin, and then they will be able to identifier potential or active abusers.

That is all true. However, children need to be taught to tell someone.

That's the angle I was aiming for. Children need to know when something is wrong so it doesn't escalate and can be stopped.

[Signtist]

At what age should we have "the talk" with our children?

You shouldn't have "the talk", it should be an ongoing discussion.

Is there Christian-based literature available for early teen's to read about it on their own?

Yes, but early teens is too late. This series may be "too much too soon for some, but it's a fantastic resource.

Are we as parents educated properly ourselves in order to educate our children?

Probably varies.

Should certain things be taught at certain ages?

Of course!

[HondurasKeiser]

In terms of the morality aspect to the discussion; what do people suggest for how to approach the topic without falling into a simplistic, and unpersuasive, 'sex outside of marriage is bad' or 'true love waits'. When can that discussion begin and in what ways?

[joey_the_ox]

In terms of the morality aspect to the discussion; what do people suggest for how to approach the topic without falling into a simplistic, and unpersuasive, 'sex outside of marriage is bad' or 'true love waits'. When can that discussion begin and in what ways?

I don't have time to write an extensive introduction, but I would recommend looking into the theology of the body (Pope John Paul II) if you haven't already.