Can we make MN less hostile?

[Bootstrap]

Can we make MN a less hostile place? Can we make it a more useful place to discuss things and learn from each other? What would a better MN look like?

Let's discuss. And while we discuss, can we please avoid insulting each other, directly or indirectly, aggressively or passive-aggressively? Let's not discuss who is to blame, let's try to describe the problem and possible solutions.

From a recent thread:

I should have ignored this thread. But it didn't seem right to just let him take over either.

But MennoNet.com seems to be losing its value.

I would also like to let this be a time for those of us who frequent this forum to reflect a bit. How do we respond to those attacking us? I have struggled myself the past year or so with how I respond. I take this as a time for myself also. How can we grow, hear the person, but not retaliate for the insult. How can we see the person behind the post?

[Bootstrap]

Here are some problems I see as related:

• Many of the wisest, peace-loving people are going away or posting very little.
• Many people who post here feel like others don't respect them or feel attacked by others.
• Several people here have public grudges that they don't reconcile and insist on talking about.
• When we discuss subjects where people disagree, we have a hard time keeping our eyes on the facts or points of view, people sometimes start discounting or insulting each other long before they have even understood.

Do others see these things happening? Or am I misinterpreting things?

[mike]

I don't know about "we," but I know that you can.

The best way to make MN less hostile is to actually go ahead and make it less hostile. Leave and ignore threads where the pettiness and drama is out of hand, and start new threads. Go ahead and discuss what you want to discuss. If the content is good and the tone of the thread is good, the good kind of posters will be attracted. Don't let a bad thread or a disgruntled poster ruin the whole forum.

[Robert]

Hard for something free to loose much value.

"Be the change you want to see."

Not sure who said that, so I will take credit for it. Makes me sound all wise and sagey.

2 things.

1. Asking is always accepted more than telling.
b. Don't take things so personal.
iii. If you ignore it long enough, it will often go away.
four. Lighten up. The world will not be saved or transformed by a small internet forum.
Cinco. Consider that the radical idea you just figured out or heard may have been discussed 50 times here already, creating great divides and entrenched tribes (I LOVE the word tribalism. Been throwing it around to my family for 2 years now.)

[Soloist]

All I can say is that hostility happens whenever things are missed with text. Sometimes its painfully obvious that the user on the other end is being hostile, but other times the intent is communicated poorly. I say this having talked to some people here and have found that in text they are rude at times but by voice they are not.

On a side note, the hostility isn't making Mennonet more likely to be allowed under some more restrictive filters. Its currently blocked on the one my church uses and I'm counting the cost

[justme]

how can we make mn less hostile?

kick out the people i don't like.


i'm currently on hour 24 (or so it feels) of a 3 hour child abuse course. i'm annoyed and grumpy. i could have done it in 1 hour. i'm sure of it.
it doesn't take 30 seconds to read 30 words. but yet thats all that they put on one slide and you can't click on to the next one until the 30 seconds is up. and you can't do something else (like i'm doing now) because then you won't be there to click immediately and then it takes even longer. i'm quite annoyed. and grumpy and irritated. and ready to kick out a bunch of people from mn.

[MaxPC]

I don't know about "we," but I know that you can.

The best way to make MN less hostile is to actually go ahead and make it less hostile. Leave and ignore threads where the pettiness and drama is out of hand, and start new threads. Go ahead and discuss what you want to discuss. If the content is good and the tone of the thread is good, the good kind of posters will be attracted. Don't let a bad thread or a disgruntled poster ruin the whole forum.

Amen and amen. This sums it perfectly

[mike]

how can we make mn less hostile?

kick out the people i don't like.


i'm currently on hour 24 (or so it feels) of a 3 hour child abuse course. i'm annoyed and grumpy. i could have done it in 1 hour. i'm sure of it.
it doesn't take 30 seconds to read 30 words. but yet thats all that they put on one slide and you can't click on to the next one until the 30 seconds is up. and you can't do something else (like i'm doing now) because then you won't be there to click immediately and then it takes even longer. i'm quite annoyed. and grumpy and irritated. and ready to kick out a bunch of people from mn.

I can imagine.

[joshuabgood]

Resist the impulse to engage trolls. It was pretty easy to spot from the first post that Spart was unbalanced.

Anyone that refers to his former wife with that language online is in left field somewhere. Yet he was engaged and given 10 plus pages of time...

If you feel trolls must be confronted pm them or only respond once.

And also ban those folks that cross the line.

That would be my vote.

[Judas Maccabeus]

If you feel trolls must be confronted pm them or only respond once.

Good idea. Now to have the discipline to do that.

Titus 3:10 Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.

J.M.