Burned by serious Christians

[Josh]

How are the seekers supposed to feel about the fence pushers like yourself?

We absolutely have to submit to every church rules. If we don’t we are viewed as a threat. We can’t challenge or push the fence or we are viewed as unsubmissive.

But the ethnic Anabaptists get to push the fence all the want and us oursiders have to go along with it. If we don’t we’re accused of wanting works and not accepting where the “spirit is leading”.

[Hats Off]

How are the seekers supposed to feel about the fence pushers like yourself?

We absolutely have to submit to every church rules. If we don’t we are viewed as a threat. We can’t challenge or push the fence or we are viewed as unsubmissive.

But the ethnic Anabaptists get to push the fence all the want and us oursiders have to go along with it. If we don’t we’re accused of wanting works and not accepting where the “spirit is leading”.

Josh, one thing we experienced was that the age of the person makes a big difference. My son asked some serious questions when he was 24, so he was judged as a fence pusher, when that wasn't at all what he was doing. But experience seems to tell the older folks and leaders that typically when young people ask questions it is because they are looking for an excuse to leave. My son left because he was basically pushed out. Twelve years later, a daughter had the same experience. When we consider some of the things that take place among ethnic Mennonites, we can surely ask "How is the seeker supposed to feel?" and I have no answers.

[steve-in-kville]

I appreciate many of the comments here in this thread. I have come to the following conclusion:

If you are born and raised in a conservative Anabaptist church, it can be the greatest thing in the world! I mean that. If you are not, you will struggle to survive, much less thrive. Not only being accepted as an equal, but in other areas. In my situation, things that I felt were black & white areas were gray areas. Things that I felt should have been a gray area, were black & white areas.

I could write a book.

[GaryK]

I appreciate many of the comments here in this thread. I have come to the following conclusion:

If you are born and raised in a conservative Anabaptist church, it can be the greatest thing in the world! I mean that. If you are not, you will struggle to survive, much less thrive. Not only being accepted as an equal, but in other areas. In my situation, things that I felt were black & white areas were gray areas. Things that I felt should have been a gray area, were black & white areas.

I could write a book.

This makes me sad! I believe this is much too often the case.

I would like to add however, that there does seem to be a bit of an awakening within some conservative Anabaptist groups that this problem must be addressed in a meaningful way. God help us to that end.

[Chris]

Many people I know who have pursued serious Christianity have been burned badly by a person or group they thought of as serious Christians and as brethren.

Sometimes it is abusive authority. Sometimes it is sexual abuse or financial fraud. Sometimes it is a kind of passive-aggressive manipulation. Sometimes it is simply false teaching.

How does that affect our lives moving forward in discipleship? How do we continue to trust and love and give when we have had this kind of experience? How do we protect ourselves against this moving forward?

Jesus conquers all problems.

I think we should remember him, who did nothing, yet was severely abused... We follow him down a narrow road, bearing our cross.

[cmbl]

"What are the transferable lessons?"
Job seekers talk about transferable skills. Transferable lessons are those things you need to learn from your experience in order to avoid repeating it.

[steve-in-kville]

A quote that a recently heard that might go well with this thread:

"A strong Christian learns to forgive someone who isn't sorry, and accept an apology he will never hear."

[Bootstrap]

A quote that a recently heard that might go well with this thread:

"A strong Christian learns to forgive someone who isn't sorry, and accept an apology he will never hear."

I like that. And it may be a necessary skill on Internet forums ...

[steve-in-kville]

A quote that a recently heard that might go well with this thread:

"A strong Christian learns to forgive someone who isn't sorry, and accept an apology he will never hear."

I like that. And it may be a necessary skill on Internet forums ...

Yeah, I'm full of 'em some days.

"A leader who misleads others in public will soon mislead himself in private."

You can thank me later.

[Judas Maccabeus]

A quote that a recently heard that might go well with this thread:

"A strong Christian learns to forgive someone who isn't sorry, and accept an apology he will never hear."

I like that. And it may be a necessary skill on Internet forums ...

Yeah, I'm full of 'em some days.

"A leader who misleads others in public will soon mislead himself in private."

You can thank me later.

"Dangerous is the man who believes his own propaganda."

I served under a pastor like that once in my pre Mennonite days.

J.M.